Posted 3 Weeks Ago by kea
I've had two so far (and it's only lunchtime  ).
One was a childrearing expert on the radio who was commenting on a parenting situation where a 10 yr old girl told her mother she was too old and fat and why couldn't they give her a better bedroom and better parties, maybe with a disco edge, and generally spend more money on her and be better parents.
The commenter said the mother should tell the child they can't spend more money on her because they're saving up for a better child.
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by swl
The guy who came into our office to lecture us on the joys of Veganism. Amongst the many and myriad benefits he listed was that it reversed male pattern baldness. He then took off his hat to reveal he was as bald as a coot - except for one solitary hair.
"See, see" he exclaimed triumphantly. 
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by  Malabarista - considering the aesthetics of variable-altitude livestock
We were trying to decide on suitable makeup for the Queen of Hearts (I'm helping with the costumes for my sister's school play.) She had two different eyebrows drawn on, and asked the teacher which one they should go with. Neither, says he, grabs the eyebrow pencil, and draws a new one - on himself! 
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by kea
SWL, did you all laugh cruelly at him or were you polite? (not sure if you are in Edinburgh, Glasgow, or on Harris  ).
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by swl
There were a number of teeth slicing through lips in the office at the time Kea. Poot George suffered a terrible coughing fit.
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by ~ jwf ~
Another credit to Taff here. 
Yesterday, I said, with unusual self-deprecating irony, that I still had
high hopes for the science of phrenology.
Taff replied that I was obviously in need of some retro-phrenology.
Best LOL I'd had for some time.
Then I wondered if he really meant it.
Which would also be funny to anyone not on the receiving end
of Taff's military trained retro-phrenological treatment plan.
~jwf~
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Malabarista - considering the aesthetics of variable-altitude livestock
Maybe he's been trained by Terry Pratchett's retrophrenologist, but I think he was a troll, so not much difference
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Taff Agent of Kaos.We are Borg....Resistance is Futile....Bufoons are Go
~jwf~
it was our esteemed co-poster i was refering to in need of a course of retro phrenology
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by kea
Good one Mal
(I like Taff, really).
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Taff Agent of Kaos.We are Borg....Resistance is Futile....Bufoons are Go
glad you can see the family resemblance
I'm as about as bright as one as well
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Woodpigeon
I asked one of five-year old twins what the fastest thing in the world was.
He thought for a moment, and then said "a roadrunner".
I laughed, so he thought again for a moment.
"Oh no, I've got it.... a chicken!"
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Reddyfreddy
Both Warner and Julzes (now Jim) give me many moments when I read their posts.
RF
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by 2legs - That which does not kill me, makes me stronger... --- I reject your reality and substitute my own...
No particular laughs today... well kind of was* today though.. made me laugh... When I fell down the staircase at about 4 AM, whilst ... a few sheets to the wind...  Strange though, I laughed at the time... but now the bruises on my hips have gotten nicely developed it doesn't seem quite so funny... but I thought it was funny at the time as I utterly failed to find the floor with my foot half way down the stairs and then just collapsed down them in a heap
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Mu Beta using less than 30 cha
I was marking a book this afternoon including a lesson we did on the formation of igneous rocks. Said lesson is titled 'hot rocks'
Unfortunately, one particular girl's r's, particularly when underlined, tended towards the very curly. So curly, in fact, that they kind of resembled the letter 'c'. That book caused a fair few guffaws.
B
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by swl
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by Mrs Zen - has had enough
I accidentally brightened up an otherwise tense meeting today where we were discussing an urgent project which might need a lot of time spent on it by the people in our team.
What I actually said was "Given the chance Emily would suck us all off into.... er..."
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Posted 3 Weeks Ago by The Menthol Penguin: "Please heal me, I can't sleep" In Flames : Delights and Angers
brilliant comment on a youtube video.
why was the woman ii the video getting naked when its a christian song
even christians get naked.
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