Posted May 30, 1999 by BeaKerMage
<UL>Digital watches are choronometers which display the time in a straightforward, blunt, and in all other ways simple manner. The logic behind the creation of Digital watches can be explained in two manners; The first of which explains the nature of life-kind and which states that order is kept through laziness and that without laziness there would be no reason for convenience - and, without convenience, no need for doing things in a straightforward, blunt, and simple manner. The second, and preferred definition is simply that "Primitive life forms think that they are a pretty neat idea". While the latter definition is really only a condensed version of the first, the fact that it deals with the subject in a straightforward, blunt, and in all other ways simple manner seems to appeal to many readers across the galaxy...</UL>
<UL>One particular species of life form that considered the Digital Watch to be a "pretty neat idea" is the "Human", from the planet Dirt (Terra: (Root Word) Earth: (Derivative) Dirt). It is curious enough that, while Humans demand simplicity and convenience, that they also demand that their simply read digital watches be quite difficult to operate. It seems as though the Humans derive a sort of strange pleasure when they finally manage to set their watches to beep in a rather annoying manner at just the "right" time. Many great thinker's believe this to be another form of the well-known "Frabjub's Law Of Relief", which states in it's infinite wisdom: "There is no greater feeling than the abscence of many TikTik rats gnawing on your ears." - This being the first comprehensible sentence he uttered after returning from his seventy-year sabbatical in the sewers of Talbyt (On the planet of Llabnip). </UL>
<UL>In conclusion, Digital Watches are pretty neat, if you are a member of a race which still calls it's homeworld "dirt". If not, I can tell you that the whole idea is a bunch of dingo's kidneys, and that you're only wasting your time. I mean, who would want to just look at some boring <A href="http://www.h2g2.com/A59591">numbers</A> anyhow? Who wouldn't rather be having fun decoding your chronometer to pass the time at the telestation while you're trying to find out what time it is (be either asking someone else or successfully decoding your chronometer). I certainly can't see the sense in a watch that one can read without feelings of geat mental anguish (GMA). </UL>
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Posted May 30, 1999 by BeaKerMage
Wow, I've just posted the entire article (plus bonus mistakes and errors! Whoo-hoo!) in the FORUM ABOUT THE ARTICLE. And now I'm REPLYING TO MY OWN MESSAGE! I KNEW I was insane! Mwa-HAHAHA!
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