From the almost legendary Pat Hetherington scrapbooks, here is her (typed) transcription of this radio oddity: no recordings of this radio show seem to have survived, but her marvellous efforts allow us another glimpse into the Golden Age of BBC Radio Thrillers!
As always, I have not attempted to edit Pat's work to any degree, apart from obvious typing errors.
THE NIGHT OF THE TWENTY-SEVENTH.
Dr. and Mrs. Dale are sitting over the fire at their home at Virginia Lodge, Parkwood Hill, London, when there is a knock at the front door.
Dr. Dale gets up to answer it; a man comes into the room.
"My name is Walter Leesham", he says, "and I represent a well-known firm of solicitors, Messrs. Croxford, Croxford, Featherdale & Croxford. I am here to carry out a will of a Mr. Silas Ephraim, who died a month ago."
"How can we help?" asks Dr. Dale, "We have never even heard of the man."
"Ah, but he has heard of you", continues the visitor, "you see, he was a keen radio fan and one of his wishes is to hold a dinner party in his memory, and that you and Mrs. Dale should be host and hostess.
The party has to be held on the night of the 27th at Hallows Court, the home of the late Silas Ephraim."
"Who are going to be invited?" asks Mrs. Dale.
"Let me see", answers Leesham, "there are Dick Barton, Paul and Steve Temple, P.C.49 and Joan Carr, Philip Odell and Heather Macmara, the Man In Black and Miss Dangerfield. Each guest will receive £500 for attending, and you and Dr. Dale will receive £750 for being host and hostess."
On the night of the 27th, the Man In Black is walking along the road in the direction of Hallows Court, when a car pulls up and the driver offers him a lift; it turns out to be none other than Paul Temple who, with Steve, is on his way to the party.
They are greeted by Dr. and Mrs. Dale - just then, they hear a noise in the sky: looking up, they see a helicopter which gradually loses height until it comes to a stop on the lawn.
"There is only one person who would come like that!" says Steve.
Yes, it is Dick Barton, Special Agent.
"Why did you choose that kind of transport?" asks Paul, curiously.
"Well, my car broke down," answers Dick, "and as there are no buses in this part of the country, I thought a helicopter was the next best thing. I used to play around here when I was young - that is how I know the country so well".
As they are talking, a police car comes up the drive; it is driven by P.C.49.
"Good evening, all", he greets them.
"Where did you get the car?" asks the Man In Black.
"I borrowed it from Inspector Wilson", answers P.C.49.
"It's a pity he wouldn't give you any promotion", says Paul.
"Oh, I don't know," says P.C.49, "'The Adventures Of Chief Inspector Berkley-Willoughby' wouldn't sound right, would it?"
"No." agree the others.
"Well, I think we are all here now," says Mrs. Dale, as she leads the way into the front room. As they approach it, they hear strains of the 'Harry Lime Theme' from "The Third Man" being played on a gramophone.
"That is the four hundredth time I have heard that," sighs Steve.
"Good evening, everyone," says Philip Odell, switching off the gramophone.
"There is a telegram from Miss Dangerfield, saying she can't come," says Dr. Dale, presently.
"Was there anything peculiar on the telegram?" asks Paul.
"Oh, don't start now, dear," pleads Steve.
"Yes, there was," says Dr. Dale, " and it rather puzzled me: it was 'Be careful, the Borgias were always having dinner parties, too'."
It is then that Dick realises that the Borgias were used to finding poison in drinks and food...
"Talking of drinks, what about handing some round?" says Dr. Dale, "I'll make sure that they aren't poisoned first."
"Yes, I could fancy a drop of scotch," says Philip, "and I'll bet Paul and Steve have a gin and tonic."
"How do you know that?" asks Paul.
"In all your adventures, you always have a gin and tonic!" answers Philip.
"Do you realise, Steve," says Paul, "he must be one of our fans!"
"Why didn't you bring Snowey and Jock, Dick?" asks P.C.49.
"Well there was only room in the helicopter for one, and if I had brought Jock, Snowey would have sulked, and if I had brought Snowey, Jock would have sulked, so I left them both at home," replies Dick.
"What is the matter with your face, Dick?" asks Philip, "it's all scratched."
"That's what I got from the tiger I met on the way." says Dick.
"I'll bet the tiger's face is ten times worse!" laughs Paul.
"You know," says Dick, turning to Philip, "I suggest we all say what we are thinking."
"I always do say what I think," says Philip, "that's why nobody loves me."
"But, seriously," says Dick, "why, for example, didn't you bring Heather?"
"For the same reason that P.C.49 didn't bring Joan, I suppose," says Philip, "I guess we suspected danger."
"I expect you are wondering why I brought Steve, under those circumstances," interrupts Paul. "After all, Steve is my wife; P.C.49 isn't married to Joan and neither is Philip married to Heather, but Steve would not stay at home when she received the invitation."
"As you know, I am familiar with this part of the country," says Dick, "and I knew that this house had been bought two months ago, by a Mr. Brown. I checked up about Silas Ephraim and discovered that nobody has died in this house for years and, what is more, the firm of Croxford, Croxford, Featherdale & Croxford do not employ a clerk named Walter Leesham."
Just then, a servant comes into the room with some coffee.
"I should watch that coffee, sir" he says, "all the other food is home-made, but the coffee was supplied by someone else."
He leaves the room and Dick notices that the coffee has a funny smell.
"Who is going to prove that it is poisoned?" says Philip.
"By Jove, it is prussic acid!" exclaims Dr. Dale.
"Now who would want to poison us?" queries Philip.
"I don't think Inspector Wilson is very fond of me, but I don't think he'd try to poison me," says P.C.49.
"Perhaps J. Arthur Rank is trying to make some money out of us." says Dick.
"It's more likely that somebody is angry with us for not listening to 'Faust' on the Third Programme," says Philip.
"I feel awful about this," says Mrs. Dale, "we asked you to come."
"It isn't your fault," Paul assures her.
"Generally, we have work before play," says Philip, "but this time things are reversed: we've had our play - what about doing a spot of work?"
"That's just what I was thinking," says Dick. "Come on, let's see what is going on in the kitchen."
They all enter the kitchen and find it empty; as they are about to go into the hall, they discover that someone has locked them in.
"Has anyone got a pack of cards?" asks Philip.
"Stop wasting time," says Dick, irritably.
"It's better than doing it," argues Philip.
They then hear for the first time the voice: "I am Silas Ephraim and I am not dead, but very much alive. I propose to kill you all, but first there will be some fun and games. I am going to enjoy this. I am talking through a hidden loudspeaker and I can hear every word you say; YOU are now the slaves to the loudspeakers, just as I have been for years."
Mrs. Dale begins to cry: "Oh, Jim!" she sobs.
"Never mind, Mary, love," says Dr. Dale, trying to comfort her.
"We'll have to get out of here," says Dick, picking up a chair with the intention of breaking down the door.
"It's no good doing that," says the voice, "the door is barred with steel."
"I never saw such a guy as you, Barton," scolds Philip, "you are always wanting to break something."
"Anyway," says Paul, "it's Silas Ephraim's neck you want to break, not his chair."
"Anyone want a game of pontoon?" says P.C.49.
"You can escape by pressing the ornamental panelling round the fireplace," says the voice.
"I wish you'd send up a bottle of scotch, or send it down, as the case may be. You don't drink, do you, Barton?"
"No, I don't," answers Dick.
"You don't know what you're missing," says Philip.
"At each corner of the ceiling, some vapour is escaping," continues the voice, "you'll have to press the panelling."
"Come on, Dick," says the Man In Black, "this is more in your line."
After a quick search, "I have discovered the secret," says Dick, "it is a wooden carving of a lion's head on the right of the fireplace."
"Press it," says Silas Ephraim.
Dick presses it and the door opens; at the same time, the machinery pulls the trigger of a gun: a hail of bullets is fired but no one is hurt, as the bullets go into the ceiling. They then proceed into the hall and walk towards the stairs.
"Mind the stairs, and remember your 'Bulldog Drummond'," warns the voice.
They rack their brains and finally recall an incident when someone had to climb stairs: on one step, something came out of the wall and hits them for six.
"We'll have to get up there," says Barton.
"Don't go and commit suicide, Barton" warns Philip, "a hole in the Light Programme from 6.45 to 7pm would be ghastly!"
Under Dick's orders, they leave Paul Temple downstairs with Steve and Mrs. Dale and make their way up by way of the stair rail; when they arrive at the top they throw down a flowerpot, which rolls down the stairs, step by step. When it touches the fifth stair from the top, the trap works as they expected.
"There are times when your methods pay dividends," says Philip, admiringly.
They warn Paul, Steve and Mrs. Dale to come up, avoiding the fifth step from the top.
When they have safely travelled upstairs, everyone goes into the first room; they find a corpse in a chair, which Dr. Dale recognises as Walter Leesham.
"He died of heart failure," assures Ephraim.
Suddenly, they discover they are locked in again; Dick, noticing no steel grill on the window, breaks it, hoping to escape onto the balcony.
"You needn't have done that," says Philip, "the window wasn't locked!"
Just as Dick gets on to the balcony, it gives way under him, but he manages to hold on to the window frame and get back into the room.
"This is my lucky day," says Dick, "first, I find a half crown in the turn-up of my trousers, and then I manage to save myself going with the balcony."
They then find a coil of rope in the room, which Paul throws out of the window and climbs down.
"Goodbye, Steve, and don't forget to tell your mother that my last thoughts were for her!" he shouts to his wife.
Steve goes to the rope, with the intention of joining her husband.
"I am used to this kind of thing, as I used to do a lot of mountaineering," says Steve.
"I bet you found a corpse in every crevice," says the Man In Black.
Suddenly, Paul sees some wolves coming near to the house. He manages to give the alarm and Steve manages to get out of the way.
Philip takes out his pistol and, after assuring P.C.49 that he has a licence, shoots the wolves.
"I wouldn't have liked Paul to be the wolves' Christmas dinner. Why don't you carry a pistol, Barton? They're very useful," says Philip.
"I am expected to do everything with my fists," replies Dick.
"I wonder what will happen next week... I mean, next?" sobs Mrs. Dale, "and when is it going to end?"
"I don't think the author himself is sure," says Philip.
Suddenly, snakes appear down the chimney! The voice very kindly pushes a button, opening another door; they are confronted by a lift gate, but, before they can open it, a rat scuttles past and is killed when it touches the gate.
"I'm afraid one of your relations has been killed by your electric fence," shouts P.C.49 to Ephraim.
"The Light Programme is closing down as far as you are concerned," shouts Paul, who has just had an idea.
"If we all keep quiet, Ephraim may stop playing cat and mouse with us," says Paul in a whisper, and they all proceed to speak in hushed tones.
Suddenly, they see the shadow of a man with a gun, but this proves to be only a dummy, which they ignore; however, Philip suddenly raises the alarm: "His trigger finger is moving!" he yells.
"Get down, all of you!" shouts Dick, and they dive to the floor, managing to avoid all the bullets from the mechanical dummy.
Dick sees a gap in the wall at the top of another flight of stairs: it is a door from which the reflection of a light shines.
"This looks like the finale," says the Man In Black.
"That is where Ephraim is hiding," says P.C.49.
"Don't come in, or you will be sorry," warns Ephraim.
They ignore this remark and Philip threatens him with his pistol.
"I hate you all," says Silas Ephraim, "for years I have been chained to my radio, craving to know what would happen next, but I always had to wait until next week. I broke my radio, only to discover that I can't live without you! For all I care, you can go to hell, all of you!"
He screams hysterically and then bursts into evil laughter as he pulls a lever: the whole house blows up, but, somehow, everyone except Silas Ephraim is thrown to safety.
Their explanation is: "We are immortals!"
Then they see the damage: "My car," says Paul; "My helicopter," says Dick; "My diary," says Mrs. Dale; "My Sunday helmet," says P.C.49.
As always, the final word comes from the Man In Black: "Villains may come and villains may go - we go on forever. Goodnight."
"The Night Of The Twenty Seventh" was written by Edward J. Mason and produced by Martyn C. Webster; it was first broadcast on 27th December 1949 on the Light Programme, between 8.30 and 9.30pm. It was repeated in the 'Curtain Up' series at 8.30pm on 22.3.50.
CAST:
Dick Barton: Duncan Carse
P.C.49: Brian Reece
Philip Odell: Robert Beatty
Paul Temple: Kim Peacock
Steve Temple: Marjorie Westbury
Dr. Dale: Douglas Burbridge
Mrs. Dale: Ellis Powell
The Man In Black: Valentine Dyall
Silas Ephraim: Leon Quartermane
Walter Leesham: Max Adrian
Servant: Malcolm Hayes
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