One of the most boring things known to mankind is an unnecessarily long car journey. However, the boredom generated by this hell-spawned activity can be relieved by making the journey even worse for your fellow travellers. What follows are the ten most annoying things to do on a long car journey:
10. Say things like, "Are we nearly there yet", "I'm hungry" and "I need a wee". 1
9. (This is best done on a motorway.2) Keep opening and shutting your electric windows.
8. Pretend to fall asleep and snore loudly.
7. As you drive past other cars, shout out the colour3 of each car. For example, if a red car drives past, shout, "Red car!"
6. If you are driving past a number of the same thing (e.g. trees), say the name of said thing as it whizzes past you window. For example, if you're driving on a road with lines, repeatedly say, "Line, line, line, line."
5. Repeatedly look through the glove compartment.
4. Keep asking what different buttons/switches/dials on the dashboard are for.
3. Make faces behind the driver's back while they're concentrating on driving.
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2. Repeatedly switch radio stations on the car stereo.
1. Start singing 'One Hundred Green Bottles Hanging on the Wall' and stop at eleven.
1 Or a pee for American readers.
2 Or freeway for American readers.
3 Or color for American readers.
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