You can look on the bright side. Or you can look here.

We will have a nice day when we're good and ready, NOT when you order us to do so! And we will not cheer up - because it probably will happen!

Hello, and welcome to P.U.D.D.I.N.G..

This society was formed as a result of a discussion about a story reported in a 'Notes From a Small Planet' column in 'The h2g2 Post'. It concerned Janice Hathy, a stress management expert from Kalamazoo, Michigan, who reportedly wanted to launch an annual event called The Great American Grump Out - during which grumpiness would be banned. People would be fined if caught frowning, and forced to wear special hats if caught being unhappy.

Ms Hathy has since launched her event, but has insisted that she was misrepresented. In a broadcast confrontation with the founder of P.U.D.D.I.N.G., aired on BBC Radio Five Live, she has said that her event is all for charity and that no curmudgeons are persecuted in the pursuit of this fund-raising. Frankly, we remain sceptical about this.

Whatever, P.U.D.D.I.N.G. remains pertinent and proud. Our point is that sometimes in this life, you have good reason to feel stressed or depressed. That's bad enough in itself, without being forced to force a smile. Yet all too often, simple sadness seems to be regarded as pathological, and any expression other than an inane grin seen as downright rude.

And, frankly, that makes us pretty tetchy.

Now please don't misunderstand us, because that would really put us in a bad mood. P.U.D.D.I.N.G. does NOT celebrate or promote sadness. Depression is an illness, and it's quite right to seek to overcome depression. We simply demand our right to express natural emotions. The show will not necessarily go on. We will not be bullied into grinning and bearing it.

And if you're going to tell us to 'cheer up' - try telling us why the we should cheer up while you're at it! Otherwise, quite frankly... well, we just might get a bit grumpy.

JOIN P.U.D.D.I.N.G. HERE!

Want to join us? If you feel that you have the right grumpy stuff to be a portion of P.U.D.D.I.N.G., then just post a message here in The P.U.D.D.I.N.G. Sign-Up Thread.

Once you've joined our great grumpy gang, you can get your 'I'm a Portion of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.' badge by following the instructions in this thread:

P.U.D.D.I.N.G. on the radio!

On May 27, 2003, BBC Radio Five Live hosted a dramatic clash of cultures. The founder of P.U.D.D.I.N.G. was pitted against the dreaded Dr Janice Hathy, founder of 'The Great American Grump Out', on the Up All Night programme.

If you dare, you can read an account of the conflict and a full transcript of the confrontation here: P.U.D.D.I.N.G. Hits The Airwaves!.

Help write The P.U.D.D.I.N.G. Anthem!

The world is full of uplifting, energising music. It's time we fought back.

To that end, I've started constructing The P.U.D.D.I.N.G. Anthem. In a cunning act of subversion, I've used the melody of one of the most un-P.U.D.D.I.N.G. songs ever written - Bobby McFerrin's vile 'Don't Worry, Be Happy'. Needless to say, the tone of the P.U.D.D.I.N.G. version is a little different...

Now all it needs is your input! Why not take a look at the Anthem and post your own additional lyrics at the bottom? Together we can build a truly epic musical moan!

Heroes of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.

Here's where we pay tribute to some of the characters, real and fictional, who have truly shown the right, grumpy stuff. They may have achieved huge success, but it hasn't made them go around grinning at everyone. Indeed, some of them have achieved levels of morose ill-humour and consistent crabbiness that can only be described as truly inspirational.

All hail the Heroes of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.!

Wednesday Addams¹

Dave Allen

Dr. John Becker²

Samuel Beckett

Ingmar Bergman

Blackadder

Al Bundy³

Eric Cartman⁴

Nick Cave

Leonard Cohen

The Daleks⁵

Daria

Jack Dee

Daffy Duck

Donald Duck

Bob Dylan

Eeyore

Sir Alex Ferguson⁶

W.C. Fields⁷

Foamy The Squirrel

Kinky Friedman

Garfield

Alf Garnett⁸

Bob Geldof

Grumpy Old Men

Grumpy Old Women

Captain Haddock⁹

The Klingons¹⁰

Fran Lebowitz

Tom Lehrer

Marvin

Sir Paul McCartney¹¹

Stella McCartney

Victor Meldrew¹²

Moe¹³

Alanis Morissette

Van Morrison

Morrissey

Inspector Morse

Oscar The Grouch¹⁴

Harvey Pekar¹⁵

Princess Anne

Prince Philip

Radiohead

Lou Reed

Rincewind¹⁶

Anne Robinson

Jean-Paul Sartre¹⁷

Will Self

The Smiths

Lemony Snicket

Lucy Van Pelt¹⁸

Gore Vidal

Sam Vimes¹⁹

The Vogons

Yosemite Sam

Enemies of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.

Wanted for aggravated, premeditated chirpiness. Rarely seen without a smile or a smirk. Persistently perky. We name the grinning goons that make P.U.D.D.I.N.G. members even grumpier than usual.

Some are all too real. Others are fictional, but no less infuriating because of it. They range from politicians to children's TV characters, but they're united by pathological positivism.

They're all Enemies of P.U.D.D.I.N.G..

Barney²⁰

David Beckham

The 'Cheer Up' Smiley

Edwina Currie

Paige Davis²¹

Doris Day

Ned Flanders²²

Ainsley Harriott

Timmy Mallett

Ronald McDonald

Bobby McFerrin²³

Su Pollard

Pollyanna

Mary Poppins

Postman Pat²⁴

Frank Skinner

Carol Smillie

Sonia

The Teletubbies

Anthea Turner

Proud portions of P.U.D.D.I.N.G.

Say it loud, we're grumpy and we're proud:

Cantankerous Cats' Corner

Do you know a morose moggy? Is your four-legged friend a foul-tempered feline? Is your pet a petulant pussycat? Does no amount of improve their temper?

Then tell P.U.D.D.I.N.G. about them, and let them get the acclaim they deserve! Have them inducted into Cantankerous Cats' Corner, P.U.D.D.I.N.G.'s special section for sour pusses!

Palbert
Spiggy
Sassy
Dewey²⁵
Pud
Bo
Aidan Phoenix
Chloe
Mokey
Ishta²⁶
Max & Robert²⁷
Masky²⁸
Victorinho
Bilbo
Baggins
Mitz & Max
Rocco
Vanessa

Disgruntled Dogs' Den

Do you know a dog with a hangdog expression? A petulant pooch? A malevolent mutt? A dog who is no man's best friend?

Then tell P.U.D.D.I.N.G. about them, and they can be housed in our virtual kennels for crabby canines - the Disgruntled Dogs' Den!

Van²⁹

---

¹ Of the very wonderful Addams Family.
² The grumpy doctor from the American sitcom Becker.
³ The fractious father from Married... With Children.
⁴ The young, corpulent curmudgeon from South Park.
⁵ From Doctor Who. (Be honest, aren't there people who make you want to borrow their catchphrase and shout 'Exterminate! Exterminate!'?)
⁶ Whatever your feelings towards Manchester United FC, their manager's remarkable ability to remain dour, surly and irritable in the face of great wealth and success cannot be denied.
⁷ The great comic actor, who once said: 'Start the day with a smile and get it over with'. That's the spirit!
⁸ The loud-mouthed, self-pitying bigot portrayed by Warren Mitchell in the long-running, controversial BBC sitcom Till Death Us Do Part and its sequel In Sickness And In Health. P.U.D.D.I.N.G. absolutely does not endorse the opinions spouted by Alf in those shows, but does salute him as a great example of grumpiness.
⁹ The manic mariner and master of expletives from Hergé's Adventures Of Tintin.
¹⁰ The somewhat aggressive alien race from Star Trek.
¹¹ Formerly an Enemy of P.U.D.D.I.N.G., Sir Paul earned a transfer to the Heroes section of this page following his fracas with a photographer under David Blaine's perspex box. Further respect is due for his decision to change the credits on some songs long regarded as 'Lennon/McCartney' compositions to 'McCartney/Lennon'. This shows that Sir Paul has an admirable ability to maintain a grudge through the decades, and even beyond the grave. Finally, we feel confident that having a new baby to cope with in one's seventh decade is enough to keep anyone grumpy.
¹² Of One Foot In The Grave.
¹³ Who serves without a smile in The Simpsons.
¹⁴ Who does a fine job teaching small children how to be grumpy in Sesame Street.
¹⁵ The star of the comic book and movie American Splendor, Harvey is a self-described curmudgeon who even managed to be grumpy about being nominated for an Oscar.
¹⁶ The cowardly, perpetually miserable wizard in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. Fans of those books might like to visit h2g2's Pratchetts Anonymous.
¹⁷ Who famously said 'Hell is other people'. How very true!
¹⁸ Of Charles M. Schulz's classic cartoon strip Peanuts.
¹⁹ The heroically grumpy police chief in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books.
²⁰ I moan at you, you moan at me, we're a grumpy family...
²¹ Relentlessly bouncy presenter of the American TV show Trading Spaces.
²² The annoying-a-diddly neighbour in The Simpsons.
²³ A fine musician, but 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' is unforgivable.
²⁴ I ask you! He has a lousy, badly-paid job that involves getting up before dawn and risking getting savaged by dogs - and he never stops smirking!
²⁵ Who manages to stay heroically grumpy despite the best efforts of his annoyingly sweet and kittenish sister Flossie.
²⁶ Queen of Hill Road and the surrounding Flat Lands. See dragonqueen's Personal Space for illustration and details.
²⁷ Who are sharing a link as they are both the feline companions of Muv.
²⁸ Feline friend of Reefgirl, and owner of a particularly mean meow.
²⁹ Canine companion of wildcat58. There is some uncertainty about who is the owner and who is the pet.