Deriving its name from the Roman goddess Ceres, shepherdess of fruits and grains, cereal is a mix of pleasant-tasting wheat fibre or bloated, dried rice that, when mixed with milk, lends itself to a most enjoyable palatable experience. Most people eat cereal at breakfast, though it can be enjoyed at any time of the day.

Cereal names range from such oddities as Lucky Charms, which contains marshmallows that are created magically by a leprechaun who is constantly pursued by children (giving them the designation "magically delicious") to Count Chocula, a Nosferatu-inspired Transylvanian land baron whose chocolatey cereal turns the catalytic milk into a caramel-coloured syrup.

Cereals are also a source of considerable national pride. When the name of the chocolate-smothered rice cereal Coco Pops was changed to Choco Krispies in the UK, there was a national outcry, mainly because the well-loved song "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops" no longer scanned when re-flowed as "I'd rather have a bowl of Choco Krispies". A national poll was held in which just under one million people voted, with 92% in favour of a return to Coco Pops... and as a result Choco Krispies are no more.

Cereals are serious business.