It's 3am. The bars are closed, the streets are quiet, and all the kids are in bed. You've finally got that time to yourself, so you're curled up in your comfy chair, wearing your slippers and robe. You're having a conversation, across the ether, with people on the other side of the world who are busy slaving away at work. The coffee pot is going strong, and you sip thankfully as you watch the screen. You should be happy, right?

Then all of a sudden it hits. That mad, unquenchable craving for a rich, deep chocolate mocha. What do you do? Go out and trudge through the snow in your slippers? That's if you can find your car keys. Of course you don't! You head for the kitchen, and start opening the cupboards.

The Recipe

Pull out a huge mug¹, and set it by the half-full coffee pot. Then get out everything else you need:

• Cocoa
• Sugar
• Vanilla extract
• Salt
• Milk

The bottom third of your cup holds the key. There, you make a paste of about three parts sugar² to one part cocoa, a few grains of salt³, about one capful of vanilla⁴ for each 'mug' your vessel holds, and just enough hot coffee⁵ to make the paste smooth.

When you're satisfied with the flavour⁶ of the paste, pour in the coffee⁷ then stir again. Top the cup off with milk, and pop it into the microwave. Garnish with marshmallows if desired.

The Aftermath

You're sitting there in the quiet, staring at your screen and sipping a nice hot, deep chocolate mocha. You're typing away at people on the other side of the world, but your keystrokes are becoming less and less frequent. As the cup empties, so do your 'batteries'. You set the cup down, type 'I think I might ggo layyyyyyyysopasdtraetuyio...' When you wake up, you wipe the QWERTY off your forehead and set about another day.

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¹ You know, the one that holds three of your every-day coffee mugs.
² Pour the sugar in first.
³ Put a pinch of salt in your hand, then brush a few grains of salt into the dry sugar/cocoa mix. You don't want salty chocolate, but without a little salt the cocoa will be bitter. Just as lyme sweetens the earth, salt will sweeten the cocoa, honestly.
⁴ Or a half teaspoon.
⁵ That's that stuff in the pot next to the cup. The stuff you'd been drinking up to the mocha attack.
⁶ You know you're going to lick that spoon, so don't deny it.
⁷ How much depends entirely on taste. Usually pour the coffee until the cup is between half and two-thirds full.