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12th July 2009
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Created: 8th July 2004
What to do when you are attacked by a camel (UG)
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Official UnderGuide Entry

Camel attacks are becoming a serious problem nowadays. Every year, approximately 23.7 people are being attacked by camels, and some of them might not even be aware of that.

That's what this short guide was written for - to assist all those people who might be attacked by camels, or who think they might have been attacked by a camel and are not sure.

Don't become another statistic - read the Camel Attack Guide today!

How to know if you have encountered a camel

Camels mostly live around the area of the Middle east and North Africa. If you are not in these parts, most chances are the animal you have encountered is not a camel. Either way, you want to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Is it a largish animal with ridiculously long legs, a hump on its back and a light-brown colour? Camels are about 2m high, and are amazingly well-adapted to life in the desert. If the answer to any of the details in the question above is "no", the animal standing in front of you is not a camel, but something else. A dog, perhaps?
  • Does the animal have antlers? If the answer to this question is "yes", you are probably standing in front of a moose, which is totally different from a camel.

Once you have established the identity of the animal, you can move to the next step.

What next?

The next questions you should ask yourself are:

  • Is the camel looking at you?1
  • Is it a tourist camel? If the camel has a large fancy-looking saddle on its hump, reins decorated with all sorts of jingling bells and a person standing near its head and charging money for taking a picture of you on the camel's back, it is not likely to attack you.
  • Is the camel moving? Is it standing up at all? This is a very important point. Camels can move pretty fast, but once they have laid themselves down they don't like getting up again, so they do not pose a threat. Camels might also be tied, in which case they move much slower.
  • Does the camel appear mad? Another important point. Camels usually have sort of a bored contemptuous expression. If the camel looks mad2, it probably is. In that case it is best to back away carefully, as fast as you can.

Oh my god, a camel is charging towards me, what do I do?

Run.

Run as fast as you can3 towards the closest shelter - a car, a bus, anything that might be camel-proof, and preferably something that can be driven far away from there.

Try deceiving the camel by throwing things at it. If you happen to be wearing a straw hat, now would be a good time to let it go once and for all. The same thing goes for any food you might be carrying on you. Do not throw your camera, you will need it!

Once you are safely inside the bus (or whatever shelter you have), and before you take off, pull out your camera.

Take a picture of the raging camel - better take more than one picture, just to be on the safe side.

After all, if you don't have a picture of an insane drooling camel trying to break through the bus window, who is ever going to believe your story?


1 Assuming this really is a camel, of course. If it isn't, disregard the following information, and in fact this whole entry.
2 For instance, if it is staring right at you and drooling.
3 Remember, camels move pretty fast!


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ENTRY DATA
Written and Researched by:

Lady Pennywhistle - Back with a vengeance! [for a certain, limited value of Vengeance; actual amounts of Vengeance may vary]

Edited by:

aGirlCalledBen

Referenced Entries:

Dogs
Moose
The Basotho Hat
The Ultimate Martial Art?
Simple Tips for Taking Good Photographs



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