Boxing Day, or December 26 for those of you who still insist on dates when there is a perfectly good name for every day of the year, is simply the happiest day of the year. I shall explain.
Boxing Day is a holiday in the more Britishly
1
influence countries where servants of all sorts are given gifts and Christmas alms are distributed to the poor. Or something like that
2.
The actual reason for the holiday is unimportant
3
as Boxing Day is the day stores start having MASSIVE sales, and is the day which one may redeem the gift certificates received on Christmas, spend the money, etc., and generally be exceedingly selfish with your time and spending habits. It's good to be away from Christmas.
Which leads me to my second point, at least, I think it's my second point. It's hard to keep track of points in a rant. Leave me alone, alright, I'm trying my best here!!!
For those of you who "celebrate" Christmas
4
, you may or may not understand the horror that is the post-holiday check book. Or the stress that begins (at least in America) before Halloween5. Or the disappointment of receiving one decent gift and fifty truly crappy ones in exchange for most (if not all or more) of your last quarter's salary. For those of you who join me in despising Christmas, you definitely understand the want to be as far away from it as possible. Thus the joy I feel on Boxing Day, the farthest point away from Christmas.
Well, the sun is rising on a day that is even closer to Christmas, so I must leave you, but remember: not only is it a day closer to Christmas, it is also a day closer to Boxing Day. Cheer up!
1 Don't insult my intelligence; Britishly is a word (I just invented it)!
2 I live in the US, so I'm not all that up-to-date on other countries' cultural events. We're historically determined to not only ignore other cultures, but to impress our culture on other countries. After all, democracy and the American way is best.
3 Just as Christmas is for most a gift giving celebration, Boxing Day is just the opposite.
4 I used the quotie things to connotate that most do not celebrate the actual holiday of Christmas, but instead embark on a commercially created explosion of spending and debt, the likes of which have never before been seen in all of history.
5 October 31
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