A sport which involves careening down a steep, slippery, snow-covered
slope
with no means of control - except with two long wooden boards, called skis,
strapped tightly to your specialized boots, and a pair of long poles. You
use the
poles and skis to avoid trees and to stop yourself falling over.
As if the inherent dangers of the sport weren't enough of a deterrent,
gaining the privilege to
ski at a decent mountain resort requires a small mountain of money.
This money mainly goes towards maintaining the 50 year old ski
lifts which will either drag or carry you slowly up a hill1.
One of the most feared types of lifts is the T-bar. Under no circumstances
should you
attempt to use this unless you have a large backside, and a love of being
dragged
along on your face through the snow with your skis tangled up in the bar
in front of you. The airborne lifts are not much better, unless you like the idea of being confined to a
steel cage 200 feet above the surface of the slippery slopes.
Then there is ski equipment. To the untrained eye it looks like
modern torture equipment, but in all the latest styles and colours. Many first
time skiers are convinced that ski boots were designed by a masochist who
enjoys having freezing cold toes and relishes the experience of having all circulation below the knee cut off.
For those who make it through these trials, there are rewards: defrosting yourself and your children and spending the day in
sub zero temperatures avoiding snowboarders2.
But for all of these trials, everyone is recommended to try out
this sport for it's adrenaline rush and the exhilaration it provides. If
that is not enough of a reason, resorts are usually located in some of the
more picturesque places on Earth. At a place like Heavenly in America the
views are magnificent.
But watch out for the trees.
1 At least,
you hope it does.
2 Or you could go drinking
at the bar with your wealthy friends.