Mistakenly assumed by many people to be a great delicacy, or worse to have aphrodisiac qualities, the true purpose of shellfish such as mussels, oysters and clams is to filter the toxins that flow into the water from manufacturers of filth all over the world. These so called 'filter feeders' pump seawater, and any pollution it carries, through their bodies. Any toxins in the water will be concentrated in their flesh.

The Lobster, on the other hand, is a meat eater, and with the exception of the green "tomalley" (the digestive gland), is a much safer meal. Lobster meat can, however, go bad very quickly, so it's advisable to cook a lobster while it's still alive. It is generally accepted that the most humane way to despatch a lobster is to numb the lobster by popping it into the freezer for a few minutes, before steaming it in sea water for 10-15 minutes. Other relaxation techniques such as hypnotism (rub the lobster's back until it stands on its head) are nowhere near as effective.

Apart from being one of the few menu choices where you are invited to select your own victim, the lobster is also recognised as a symbol of wealth and prosperity the world over, and in particular on the island of New Guinea. The indigenous people of this densely jungled island had lived a simple life without contact with Westerners or modern technology until World War Two, when the war in the Pacific brought allied troops with large transport planes which unloaded jeeps, radios and mail-order lobster. The Allies generously shared their supplies with the natives, and traditional values were soon destroyed as the flow of gifts gave rise to the emergence of a dependence upon the cargo flights of supplies. The local people came to expect that lobsters descended from the heavens, a practice that was abruptly halted when the war ended and the local population was abandoned. Naturalists and sociologists who returned to New Guinea a few years after the end of the war to re-establish contact with the native people were surprised to discover that the local people had built crude models of lobsters hoping to lure the cargo flights back to the jungle. Labelled "The Lobster Cults", these tribes were hoping in vain for the return of easy prosperity, free gifts, and lobsters from heaven.