There are as many recipes for scrambled eggs as there are reasons for eating them, but drawing together the various threads of research gives us the following recipes.

The Basics

Ingredients

• Butter
• Two eggs per person
• Milk, cream, or water
• Salt and pepper

Equipment

• 1 mixing bowl
• 1 heat-proof bowl
• 1 heavy-bottomed pan or frying pan
• 1 wooden spoon

Luxury Cooking Method

1. Break the eggs into the mixing bowl, taking care not to let any shell slip into the mix.
2. Do not whisk the eggs, but mix them until the eggs are broken into the whites, retaining a streaky white and yellow look.
3. Add two tablespoons of milk, cream, or water per serving.
4. Add a knob of butter.
5. Add salt and pepper to taste. Preferably to your taste.
6. Pour the mixture into a heavy-bottomed pan, put on a very low heat and stir slowly with the wooden spoon.
7. After a few minutes the mixture will start to thicken; at this stage place in a heat-proof bowl and into a warm oven, or better still the cooler oven in an Aga.
8. Leave for five to ten minutes and serve. Ideally, it should be served hot and semi-solid, on hot buttered toast.

Quick cooking method

1. Crack the eggs into a bowl.
2. Add a pinch of salt and a glug (about two tablespoons) of milk.
3. Stir the mixture, but not too much, just so you break up the yolk and white a bit, not so you just have an orange goo.
4. Put about a tablespoon of butter into the frying pan and allow it to get hot enough to sizzle. When you add the egg it should start to cook right away, rather than sit there and do nothing, so test the heat with a few drops of egg first.
5. Cook the eggs over a medium to low heat, breaking them up with a wooden spoon so they don't turn into an omelette.
6. Turn the heat off under the pan just before the eggs are fully cooked. The heat of the pan should finish the cooking process and this stops the eggs from being overcooked.
7. Serve with a smile and pepper.

Researchers' Cooking Tips

• Don't boil the eggs, as this releases the dreaded evil yellow water.
• To give your scrambled eggs a fluffy and unique taste, add a dessert spoon of mayonnaise for every two eggs used, and plenty of ground black pepper.
• If you really want scrambled eggs that rock, add a heavy dose of Tabasco sauce at the mixing stage. The colour of the mix will change slightly to an off-brown, pinky-yellow colour, which is quite normal, so don't panic.
• The best scrambled egg one Researcher ever tasted, was one they made themselves with a duck egg, served with sautéed chanterelles.
• Perfect scrambled eggs are made using free range eggs and fresh cold milk direct from the milkman.
• Add a slurp of Lea'n'Perrins Worcester sauce to the mix to add some bite.
• Add half-and-half milk with clotted cream for extra fluff.
• Do not use hot water to clean your pan. Instead, you will find it much more effective to use cold water. This applies whenever you are trying to clean proteins from items (blood on a shirt, for example).
• The addition of at least 2 ounces of extra mature cheddar cheese just before removing the pan from the heat makes a very tasty treat. It is worth adding an extra spoon of water to keep the concoction light.... and don't forget to grate the cheese first!

Best Scrambled Egg Spots

Among the places whose scrambled eggs have been recommended by our researchers are:

• Little Penylan, Myfod, Wales
• Four Seasons, Istanbul, Turkey
• Eladio's Restaurant, Harbor View Inn, Santa Barbara, California, USA¹
• Amsterdam Marriot, Netherlands
• Victoria and Alfred, V & A Waterfront, Cape Town, South Africa
• New Hall, Sutton Coldfield, UK
• Tylney Hall, Hampshire, UK
• Hyatt Regency, Istanbul, Turkey
• The Lanesborough, London, UK
• The Algonquin, New York²
• The Halcyon Hotel, London, UK

Scrambled Egg Trivia

'Scrambled eggs' was, of course, the phrase which Paul McCartney sang when he first got the tune for 'Yesterday' but hadn't yet thought up the words. Things would have been very different if he had stuck to the original version...³

Did you know that 'Scrambled Egg' is also the name of the braid on a Naval Officer's uniform.

Scrambled eggs-otica

Ekuri

Call into existence the following:

• Large pat of butter
• 1 medium onion, chopped fine
• 1 green chilli, seeded and chopped
• 1/2 inch piece of fresh green ginger, peeled and finely chopped
• Large pinch of turmeric
• Chopped coriander leaves
• Salt
• 8 eggs of a hen (or similar), slightly beaten (the eggs, not the hen)

Fry the onion and ginger in the butter until softened and the onion is golden brown. Stir in the chilli, turmeric, salt, and large pinch of coriander. Fry for one minute. Reduce the heat. Pour in the eggs and cook until they are lightly scrambled, stirring constantly.

Serve on buttered toast. Garnish with coriander leaves, tomato and onion slices sprinkled with salt and Garam Masala.

Scrambled Eggs Royale

The addition of strips of smoked salmon into scrambled eggs makes a classic French breakfast or starter dish known as Scrambled Eggs Royale.

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¹ Sadly, Eladio's is currently closed for refurbishment. A review of the refurbished scrambled eggs will be included as soon as, or not long after, there are any to review. Please stand by.
² This hotel should be granted instant 'Scrambled Egg Heaven' status; because, not only are the scrambled eggs light and fluffy and hot, but they also contain chopped peppers.
³ This may not be literally true; but, since truth is beauty...