Blackadder Series 2, episode 1: Bells
The Plot:
Blackadder finds his new servant, Bob, curiously pleasant company. So much so, that he almost kisses him. Afraid for his position at court, Blackadder searches for a “cure”, until Bob conveniently reveals that she is in fact a girl called Kate. Their wedding is spectacularly ruined by the appearance of Lord Flashheart, the best man: the best sword, the best shot, the best sailor and the best kisser in the kingdom. In keeping with the cross-dressing courtship, Kate and Flashhart exchange clothes and elope together, leaving Blackadder with the enticing prospect of marrying Baldrick the bridesmaid.
Baldrick’s words of wisdom:
Baldrick: Not to worry my lord, the arrow didn't in fact enter my body.
Blackadder: Oh good.
Baldrick: No, by a thousand to one chance my willy got in the way.
Insult of the episode:
Blackadder on Baldrick: Kate, he looks like what he is: a dung ball in a dress.
Shakespeare gave me a hand with the title, but the rest is all my own work:
“To Dover at once!”. In King Lear, just about everyone is trying to find their way to Dover. Not all of them make it. It's a tragedy.
“Hail Edmund, Lord of Adders Black!” The Wise Woman’s greeting sounds suspiciously similar to the witches in Macbeth.
The whole plot. Plucky heroine dresses as boy and falls in love - hello, As You Like It, Two Gentlemen of Verona, but most of all, Twelfth Night.
Words to closing song:
So Flashheart tweaked the Adders beard,
From now he always shall be single.
To fall in love with boys is weird,
especially boys without a tingle.
Blackadder, Blackadder. His taste is rather odd.
Blackadder, Blackadder, the randy little sod.
Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart, I wish you were the star.
Lord Flashheart, Lord Flashheart, you're sexier by far.
Quotes:
Blackadder: ‘Yes, it is’, not ‘That it be’. You don’t have to talk in that stupid voice to me. I’m not a tourist.
Flashheart: Thanks, Bridesmaid. Like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to.
Flashheart: She’s got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man’s tonsils.
Read the other episode guides:
Series 1:
1. The Foretelling
2. Born to Be King
3. The Archbishop
4. The Queen of Spain's Beard
5. Witchsmeller Pursuivant
6. The Black Seal
Series 2:
1. Bells
2. Head
3. Potato
4. Money
5. Beer
6. Chains
Series 3:
1. Dish and Dishonesty
2. Ink and Incapability
3. Nob and Nobility
4. Sense and Senility
5. Amy and Amiability
6. Dual and Duality
Series 4:
1. Captain Cook
2. Corporal Punishment
3. Major Star
4. Private Plane
5. General Hospital
6. Goodybyeee
These guides were brought to you by the BBCi Comedy website.
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