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fingerchimp
  all member's weblog
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 weblog 1 published Feb 11, 2008 | 1 reply
12 gold bars - status quo
hotel california - the eagles
songs from a room - leonard cohen
3 feet high and rising - de la soul
pretty hate machine - nine inch nails
dirty - sonic youth
gish - smashing pumpkins
crunchouse (amphetamine reptile compilation)
sub pop 200
bleach - nirvana
meantime - helmet
heavy rhyme selection - brand new heavies
cymande - cymande
headz - mo wax compilation
refried food - dj food
executive suite - wiseguys
liberation - les rhythmes digitales
five leaves left - nick drake
either/or - elliott smith
highway 61 revisited - bob dylan
featuring birds - quasi
relationship of command - at the drive in
brushfire fairytales - jack johnson
youth and young manhood - kings of leon
master and everyone - bonnie prince billy
rebellious jukebox - the fall
the argument - fugazi
excellent italian greyhound - shellac
mcklusky do dallas - mcklusky
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 weblog 2 published Feb 7, 2008 | no new comments
your pity sets the bar so high
cant believe it believe it myself
what a guy

adeadenemyalwayssmellsgood - future of the left


i finally got my bike fixed! i biked from sheffield to rotherham to work this morning and it was great. im going to do it everyday. its a joke when i can bike here faster than public transport.

the fall are playing! march 6th. i cant wait-uh! its going to great-ah!i could try and blag exposed to let me interview mark e but i think he would destroy me. it would be good to get destroyed by mark e though. like being eaten by some kind of demented beautiful machine. with bad teeth.

im deffo gonna blag them to let me meet the boosh when they come around. that would be great. i know a disturbing amount about them.

anyway, collective is closing so i'd better finish my drink and shuffle off into the dark dark night.


adeadenemyalwayssmellsgood - future of the left
bingo masters breakout - the fall
chasin' darla - the cows
i know - helmet
oh - fugazi
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 weblog 3 published Jan 17, 2008 | 3 replies
i was born already bald, be prepared
i was born embroiled in an argument, be prepared
don't be ashamed, you were born unadorned, be prepared

be prepared - shellac


it's done. i have a new place to live. it seems ok. stef thinks it lacks character and that because im made of socks and old washing machine parts i dont get sentimental about having lived in someone elses house for the last year. i dont miss things, whats the point? its not like i miss them and than rationalise it, i just dont miss things in the first place...dead dogs, dead family, dead friends, places, people, houses, trainers, keyrings, swimming badges, old cartoons, i dont care. im like rimbaud, im strictly modern. and ive got the radio on. pining for a set of circumstances that once contrived to occur at the same time in space makes as much sense to me as pining for a thing that hasn't happened yet, like a pair of trousers you are yet to own.

anyhoo, the flat has a deposit on it...a monetary deposit! and we are moving end of feb.im now broke, as predicted the first months paypacket containing my promotion augmented wage has seen my activities expand to fit and i am no better off. the older you get, the more you earn and the less you have to spend. maybe i should check my holes for pockets. i cant affrod to be generous anymore and that irks me. it is irksome. i am irked.

hmmm. still need to fix my bike.


be prepared - shellac
collagen rock - mclusky
williamsburg will oldham horror - jeffrey lewis
some candy talking - jesus and mary chain
night shop - fugazi

been eating a lot of porridge.
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 weblog 4 published Jan 15, 2008 | no new comments
i feel the force im dead of course
i ride on a popular culture horse
and i cant say nothing but
world cup drumming
stuck in my throat like it used to mean something

mclusky - world cup drumming


moving. that's what we're about this month. looking at scrotty old student houses left barren by the proliferation of prefab slab S1 abominations with multi-storey future options where the fey neon youths learn the lonely but crowded segregation of post modernity.

£600 a month? i expect the sofa to match the carpet my friend, and to definitely match the other sofa.

estate agents who try to set my expectations...no sir, most people only have one chair in their living room, it's fashionable to have broken shelves, hero!n chic neighbourhoods are in etc.

off to look at one tonight that looks good, for anyone that knows sheffield its walkley side of crookes, neatly triangulated by a triumvirate of pubs.

stef haggles for rent. what a girl! i never thought of haggling for rent.

two staples of the hagglers vocabulary. ask the price, ponder it, look him in the eye...no, thats no good for me mate, you'll have to do better. try it. it works. prices are all inflated. the method actor that pays my bills keeps a fat man feeding in beverley hills.

got an article to write about ghosts in sheffield, ive done nothing about it yet and its in soon.

world cup drumming - mclusky
the a minor pentatonic scale - untitled musical project
whiteliberalsonskates - mclusky
either/or - elliott smith
the people versus michael miller - untitled musical project

ripleys believe it or not 2008
worlds most amazing videos
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 weblog 5 published Dec 27, 2007 | no new comments
sleigh bells ring
are you listening?
in the studio, lights are glistening
he records a love song
the productions right on
alan parsons in a winter wonderland

alan parsons in a winter wonderland - grandaddy


so that was christmas. this is how it looked...

a 50-in-1 plug in game for the telly
a USB shredder
socks
a dressing gown
super scrabble
monopoly
two bottles of scotch
a bottle of jim beam
a bottle of port
a global warming mug
simpsons movie
muppets christmas carol
cufflinks
a homer simpson dental floss dispenser
a status quo best of

...and that was about it. all in all a very nice christmas. i ended christmas eve singing desperado by the eagles on the karaoke in a gay bar in town. i was drunk, but not too drunk. christmas day was great without all the travelling it usually entails. me and stef were up at 8 opening presents and drinking champagne. cooked dinner and watched telly until we fell asleep.

i think we both wished we had booked more time off, but then im kinda glad ill have more holiday to use up later in the year when i can go somewhere HOT.

anyhow, merry christmas folks, and a happy new year.

alan parsons in a winter wonderland - grandaddy
roll over lay down - status quo
pink steam - sonic youth
i know - helmet
boilermaker - jesus lizard
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 weblog 6 published Nov 29, 2007 | no new comments
Open my mouth
Talk about me
Follow you around
Talk about me

Born Annoying – Helmet


It’s my weblog. I am going to talk about me. I got a new job, well it’s with the same company, Envirocorp, so I am saving the world one day at a time..good for me. It also means I am finally back on the same good money that I gave up in Lincoln, and it’s a better job. So now I have everything, a good job and a beautiful girlfriend, so forgive me my smugness and you are welcome to read through my previous weblogs and decide for yourself if I don’t deserve a bit of good fortune.

Otherwise life goes on. Christmas is approaching and for the first time I have bought as much as I can from the internet which has vastly reduced the stress of it. Me and Stef are having Christmas to ourselves this year and the theme for presents is Games so we have plenty of stuff to amuse ourselves with as well as loads of booze. Christmas without all the travelling will be bliss, even with the guilt from my Mum because she will be on her own this year. She should try and be a bit nicer to people.

Born Annoying – Helmet
Boilermaker – The Jesus Lizard
I Turned into a Monster – The Misfits
Smells Like Teen Spirit – The Melvins feat Leif Garrett
Bomber – Motorhead feat Girlschool
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 weblog 7 published Nov 6, 2007 | 2 replies
hey! theres a monkey in my bed said ed
the universe is turning red
and i dont know what it was she said
something like eddies dead

OH NO!

youre a wicked woman!

chicken - the eighties matchbox b-line disaster


best gig in ages. fact. support band were ace too, well, one of them was. although the guitarist from to the bone had a nice cloak. sym gharial landed on my head. i think i was concussed, or off my head. well, i was definitely off my head. i sweated through my jeans. i wonder if maybe im too old for all this but then i spent my early twenties making indents in couches. i never had this much energy or enthusiasm. and later in life you'll realise that NOW your old. or maybe never. it was fun anyhow. fun seemed to be more of a self conscious affair as a younger man.

got all of the melvins back catalogue this week. ive not even started to pick through it yet. its about 2Gb. oh, and im a nerd now. im downloading music.

got all the helmet stuff too. when theyre bad they stink but when theyre good you could forgive them anything at all.

chicken - eighties matchbox b-line disaster
wilmas rainbow - helmet
gluey porch treatments - the melvins
hybrid moments - the misfits
song #1 - fugazi

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 weblog 8 published Oct 29, 2007 | no new comments
betty came by on her way
said she had a word to say
about things today
and the falling leaves

river man - nick drake

good weekend. im feeling good today. starting work an hour earlier which is good. had a lazy weekend, went to a party saturday night. i was very drunk. more drunk than i realised, which is what normally happens. the night went ever so fast. sometimes i can be quiet for a while and then whooooosh! so many words, concepts linking together, amusing anecdotes and off colour comments. its nice to have a break from the near anhedonia i sometimes experience.

played guitar at said party for quite a while, to a somewhat appreciative audience, which was good. they knew who nick drake was. they knew who john renbourn was. met gomez's tour manager. still got fake blood stains on me. got a bit gothic with black lipstick and eye liner.

river man - nick drake
lord franklin - john renbourn
tomorrow - espers (durutti column)
these days - nico (jackson browne)
one - nilsson
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 weblog 9 published Oct 22, 2007 | 2 replies
the things that you tell yourself,
theyll kill you in time,
the cold white brother alive in your blood,
spinning in the night sky

coming up roses - elliott smith


i dont want to come to work anymore. i want to hibernate. im struggling to get out of bed in the morning and life always feels like a rush. next week im changing my working hours to start an hour earlier which may help. i think this time of the year is such a strain on the circadian rhythym.

went to stay in a hotel saturday night. it was quite nice, but oversold. it was a bargain anyway so cant complain. had quite a lot to drink in the delightful market town of richmond (up north, not in surrey).

fixed my puncture. it was very easy what with the advent of quick release wheels and disk brakes. i found a sharp thin piece of metal had gone all the way through my tyre.

tangled with face book. every time i log on there seem to be more vague acquaintances claiming friendship.

im greatly enjoying the motley crue book, and they havnt even recorded dr feelgood yet. nikki has only died once so far.


coming up roses - elliott smith
girls, girls, girls - motley crue
jesus christ pose - soundgarden
song of the baker - screaming trees
suck you dry - mudhoney
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 weblog 10 published Oct 19, 2007 | no new comments
im drunk
and now im so in love with you
and i dont want to think too much about what we should or shouldnt do
lay my hands on heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars
while the devil wants to f$$k me in the back of his car
theres nothing quite like the feel of something new

the only time - nine inch nails


bran flakes. lunchtimes of the unimaginative. had a puncture this morning. i havent had to mend a puncture in years. im almost looking forward to it.

it has reminded me of that time as a child though, when youre new bike starts to not seem so new anymore. im examining it more closely, the tic-tic sound from the chain in top gear, the slight rub of the rear disc brake. my bike has become mortal.

well, anyway, my mp3 player had "gone flat" too. can they do that? why would it run out of power by just not being switched on for a week or two? so a quiet tram ride to work with the metro for company.

a 16 year old kid got shot in burngreave park.

im going to a fancy hotel near darlington tomorrow to have a day of relaxing in saunas and steam rooms and jacuzzis and turkish baths. cant wait.


the only time - nine inch nails
red tape - circle jerks
teethgrinder - therapy
solo - jacobs mouse
reprovisional - fugazi

dirt - motley crue
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 weblog 11 published Oct 12, 2007 | no new comments
"and the whirlwind, is in the thorn trees
and the virgins are all trimming their wicks
and the whirlwind, is in the thorn trees
its hard for thee to kick against the pricks"

johnny cash - when the man comes around


im off to the pub. it's a friday. have a good weekend.


when the man comes around - johnny cash
driving along - nilsson
410 - helmet
little vacation - vic chestnut
half right - heatmiser
pete, king of the detectives - big black
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 weblog 12 published Sep 28, 2007 | 6 replies
i would rather be gone to the grave good people,
my cards all in my hand,
than be standing around in nashville,
like a lowdown sorry man

country blues - john renbourn


im going to be published.

its a fact.

at something i have never wished for success in, i have achieved it. i am in a position many aspiring writers, among whose number i do not reside, slave and hunger for.

to find myself in this most priviledged position all i had to do was to go to the pub. i have a friend who works as a graphic designer who i went to meet in the pub. he was with a friend who is the editor of a prominent local free listings magazine. we spoke about writing, i said i do a bit. a week or so later he asked me to write a feature.

its going to be published, along with a review i wrote, in next months edition (novembers).

i cant say im not chuffed, it just feels like its dropped in my lap. the editor even emailed to say he liked it and hasnt really changed it. i cant help but feel like i would have preferred him to have some criticism, or some recommendations, but no. he likes it. so i guess ill do some more, who knows, maybe ill put together a portfolio and start to contribute to other magazines.

im quite pleased as ive always had in my head that i would devote my 20s to being a musician and hopefully try to write in my 30s, which are only a year away. i had sort of thought i might write a book, but now it seems i my be able to do some articles. a much more instant form of gratification.

id like to be a music journo i think. its an awful prospect. like trying to be a nice copper. but ill try.

(i do use capitals when i write properly.)




country blues - john renbourn
soldier girl - polyphonic spree
underground medicine - the fall
its her factory - gang of four
go to pieces - hope of the states

biking to work, its glorious, stop driving unnecessary distances. i cover 5 miles to work in around 25 minutes.
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 weblog 13 published Sep 19, 2007 | 2 replies
"march 23rd hushed the wind
the music died
if you cant get the best of us now
its cos this is forever"

napoleon solo - at the drive in


whoa! been a while again. the months pass by in an iridium kaliedoscope of wobbling verisimilitude.

Ive done loads. My brother got married last weekend which was amazing, spent all day smiling and laughing and upon returning home drunk i spontaneoulsy burst into tears and didnt stop for about 10 minutes, which as any man will tell you is about 8 years worth of tears in one go. i guess it had been an emotional day. it was marred only slightly by my dad later falling over at his hotel giving himself concussion and a broken collar bone, resulting in a 3:30am flight to chesterfield royal. i think its nearly time he stopped drinking so much.

the weekend before we went to the norfolk broads and spent a weekend orming around on a bloody great barge like an inebriated rosy and jim. there were ten of us and the whole weekend started to resemble a happy mondays recording session, very hazy. id recommend it to anyone as a group holiday though, it was top. spent a couple of days just me and stef in a tent in the glorious yesteryear town of great yarmouth soaking up the seaside nostalgia and wondering if this is where huxleys betas will live in the not so distant future.

the weekend before was my bros stag do in leeds which was thankfully free of any cliches like strippers and lapdancing clubs and full of drinking and bonhomie. he has a really great group of friends now in london and it was cool to see them mixing so well with all our country friends from way back.

so that was the summer. virgin are coming to fit my broadband and cable telly-v in preparation for winter. the hibernation instinct has kicked in much earlier than normal and all i want to do is get home, shut the curtains, turn on the telly, eat crisps and drink guinness.

napoleon solo - at the drive in
tv party - black flag
merchandise - fugazi
last caress - the misfits
rest my head against the wall - heatmiser
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 weblog 14 published Jul 11, 2007 | 8 replies
swallowing, everything
sinker, hook and line
paralysed, anaesthetised
wasted one more time

swallowing everything - helmet


and so...another week, another job. im almost finished prelim training for the environment agency which has been quite interesting, if slightly obsessed with waste. i suppose its better than knowing lots about sewage. ive gone from s**t to just rubbish, it must be an improvement. its hard taking a whack in wages though. i keep going upstairs to where the regional officers sit and thinking which one of them is doing my equivalent former position. my manager probably doesnt earn as much as i did six months ago.

otherwise things are good. the foundation of our relationship continues to amaze me. the absolute lack of problems and then the absolute urge to resolve them should they occur is almost an instinctual process, like an organism healing itself. i honestly cant see myself as apart from the two of us.

time passes quickly, into july, stefs birthday, amsterdam, my mums birthday, my birthday, matts stag do, matts wedding....ive got a reading to prepare and two articles to finish before august. ill be getting my first taste of reportage soon, actually going out with a photographer to cover an event..im stoked! biggrin its funny how these things happen, through no real effort on my part i may end up contributing to a magazine on a regular basis. it sure isnt what you know.


swallowing everything - helmet
so what - crass
your heart out - the fall
filler - minor threat
come back - the misfits
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 weblog 15 published Jul 2, 2007 | 2 replies
do they owe us a living?
course they do! course they do!
owe us a living?
course they f@@king do!

do they owe us a living - crass



quit my job last week after adverse weather meant it took 4 and a half hours to get from attercliffe to walkley (including a 1 hr refuelling stop at frog and parrott). the weather was excting and lent a festive air to the week. spent a lot of time in the pub, some weeks seem to go like that, and made sure i got the most out of the last few days i get to exercise a basic freedom (to be addicted to a chemical of my choice and "jack up" in public). i think people who go on about smoking being a basic freedom seem to forget that they dont really want to smoke, its just addictive. apart from me of course. i just like it. i can quit anytime i want. that said im not influenced in the slightest to want to quit. im quite annoying. i once stopped for a couple of years but found i wanted to smoke. nowadays i can go a few days without a cigarette and then ill smoke when i want one. so f**k you allen carr...i really do smoke because i want to. not everyone who uses heroine is an addict.

got the new shellac album...its ace as hot steaming pies filled with cherries. i wouldnt recommend it widely though..its not easy listening.

anyhoo...new job tomorrow, posh new shirts and trousers, slightly more casual than last time.


do they owe us a living?- crass
be prepared - shellac
my michelle - guns and roses
punk is dead - crass
dead billy - big black
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 weblog 16 published Jun 21, 2007 | no new comments
where did you get that balnk expression on your face?

blank expression - the specials

im sat in a room at work about to deliver a presentation in a "fun" style while the rest of my team desperately try to choreograph a dance to the oompah loompah song from charlie and the chocolate factory. i cant help feeling slightly guilty as i wrote the presentation and cast myself as a narrator avoiding any embarrasment or personal loss of face. i dont think ive ever been payed to do anything quite so ridiculous. im quitting next week to take another job too so i really am the farmer who bought a cow and discovered it sh*ts diamonds.

otherwise things are good, nine black alps, ..trail of dead and leftover crack all playing sheffield in the next couple of months and a sojourn to amsterdam planned for july/august and a new shellac album to check out (when i get paid). summer is dismal but its no surprise anymore. its like a tropical wet season.

also we had a man out to fit a broken knob on our boiler who discovered we do have a timer and thermostat, so all winter we froze our tits off unnecessarily. anyhow, it means i dont think we need to move which is a relief..walkley is a fine area of sheffield to inhabit.


blank expression - the specials
burn faster - nine black alps
teenagers from mars - misfits
murray street - sonic youth
chanbara - at the drive in



(now they are arguing whether nipple rubbing is offensive...o! multicorp!)
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 weblog 17 published Jun 11, 2007 | 15 replies
this is jordan
we do what we like

jordan, minnesota - big black


quiet weekend.stef was in tuscany, florence and sienna variously so after playing with various options i decided spending some time alone might be nice. neither of us have slept alone in 5 or 6 months and we havent spent more than 3 days apart in a long time. i thought id see what it was like, me being a seasoned enjoyer of solitude and it was surprisingly lonely. i pottered, slept, smoked, drank and watched 419 mins of ren and stimpy and all of the mighty boosh bonus disc including each commentary. found out that nanageddon was, as i suspected, influenced heavily by the eighties matchbox b-line disaster, and also that noel fielding is a richard brautigan fan. which is nice. its nice when your tastes collide, like when i bought superwolf and it had a paul bowles extract in the liner notes.

anyhow, guess i missed her a lot. she gets back today. it seems like shes been gone ages. suppose id better hide milky stef.



jordan, minnesota - big black
monochrome - helmet
napoleon solo - at the drive in
homeo-apathy - leftover crack
steady as she goes - shellac


ren and stimpy series 1 and 2
mighty boosh series 2
predator
a room for romeo brass
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 weblog 18 published Jun 1, 2007 | no new comments
"is this just a life preserver
or a bivouac tenure?
the tropic of cancer answered,
"drink the quicksand'

lopsided-at the drive in

well im posting from multicorp at the end of the first weeks training. its undescribably dull, similar to school as i remember. anyhow, its friday and improbably not going to be here for long.
got another job so thats four counting the one im doing now. its just a case of keeping them all spinning along until i can work out the best way of getting from here to ending up in the job i want without making myself unemployed and ensuring im making the most money i can as easily as i can.
otherwise life plods along. i was watching kinglin last night where roy walks out of his apartment and says to the bum there "hows life?" to which the bum replies "taking forever" biggrin ...i jest, its ok with me, better than it has been for a long long time.

"its gills will swim faster after a breath from the shore
breathe the taste of salt water
dry heave up and overboard
ponce de leon wrinkles
let's make it young again
boat drinks for captains
row our boat stowaway
it all makes sense now
if our map was torn, navigate, navigate
if your compass broke, navigate, navigate"


lopsided - at the drive in
out of vogue - middle class
christian brothers - elliott smith
statued - adem
im not sorry - pigeon detectives
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 weblog 19 published May 23, 2007 | 1 reply
do you suffer from mental?
do you suffer from mental tonight?

mr mental - the eighties matchbox b-line disaster


joy! saturday morning two interview responses arrived and they were both succesful. it seems bizarrely that i may end up doind all three jobs too. i will start at multicorp on tuesday where they propose to train me for four weeks mon-fri 0900-1500. during this time i hope to be provided with a start date by envirocorp as their working hours are also mon-fri 0900-1700 and this will keep me from working shifts or weekends. shortly after completing my training for this job my security clearances from governcorp should be back and i will be able to start the job i want to do...hooray. im parked on easy street next to a meter thats sh*tting gold.

weekend was dog racing friday, mums house saturday (which is not as relaxing as you may imagine, it involves imbibing a cailgulan amount of wine)...lunch with my brother future in laws sunday, monday night to shrewsbury and my future in laws (biggrin ) and then back to bumming around at home until after the weekend when im going to have to go to work for the first time in four months.

feel loads better about myself though....ive got three jobs!


mister mental - eighties matchbox b-line disaster
angel in the snow - elliott smith
high times - elliott smith
alameda - elliott smith
hazy jane II - nick drake


forbidden flowers - nancy friday
prawn and avocado salad
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 weblog 20 published May 15, 2007 | 13 replies
i feel trapped by mutual affection
and i dont know how to use freedom
i spent hours looking sideways
to a time when i was sixteen

im frightened - the fall


hello! its been a while. im not going to apologise. ive been busy. doing what? none of your business.

alright then, if only to silence your infernal clamour!

i have...
* bought a lovely new mountain bike to save my ailing back and knees from incessant pavement pounding..if your interested its a saracen mantra which someone is probably driving a screwdriver through my expensive lock as i sit here
* been to shrewsbury, saw the future in-laws, visited ironbridge (which is an iron bridge) and a british vineyard from which we bought a bottle of (as yet undrunk) british red wine.
* been to alton towers, a vista of memories stretching back 20 years and it still turns me into a little boy...best rides of the day were oblivion, rita and the ever disorientating enterprise
* visited trentham monkey forest, real life monkeys in the wild (well, sort of)...highly recommended if you are slightly wierd about wildlife in general and monkeys in particular
* had a further two job interviews..fingers crossed!

so, as you can see, im having a ball.



im frightened - the fall
a little vacation - vic chesnutt
mr krinkle - primus
napoleon solo - at the drive in
presidential wave - 80's matchbox b-line disaster



i am on my way to buy the new posthumous elliott smith album now...it better be good.
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 weblog 21 published Apr 5, 2007 | no new comments
doll steak
test meat

milk it - nirvana

its 13 years today since kurt cobain brained himself with a remington. rip kurt.

im sat with stefs missing bag between my feet having just retrieved it from the bank. i called the bloke back told him in no uncertain terms that not only would he not recieve a penny from us, but that if he did not hand the bag in to his local branch of the hsbc bank then i would report it as stolen to the police and hand over his phone number to them. hey presto! it returned.
its sad really because i dont doubt hes a reasonable man and i would happily have given him 20 quid for his trouble. it was the cynicism that bothered me, demanding 100 pounds for something that is not his and he may well have actually stolen.

otherwise things are going slowly. my inability to find employment is taking some ridiculous turns. a certain large communications provider knocked me back on a paper sift. i have over 3 years experience in an identical role. i have been given a job with no start date and have attended interviews with a company which may take up to 45 days to reach a decision. i spent 45 minutes waiting on a guy the other day before walking out of his offices feeling strangely humiliated.
what gets me is that you think, "oh ill just do this job to tide me over" and then you cant get it because you are overqualified, or the fact that you earnt nearly double their salary in your last job goes against you.
anyway, im sure something will turn up. im even considering signing on, something ive never done.

well, its a nostalgic top five, the best nirvana songs of all time....

1. aneurysm
2. papercuts
3. milk it
4. breed
5. scentless apprentice

live tonight/sold out - nirvana

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 weblog 22 published Apr 3, 2007 | no new comments
"id get up,
if i knew id fell"

leg of lamb - queens of the stone age


what a busy weekend! went to london on sunday to see my brother. went out, ate turkish on old street and got ridiculously drunk.

stef lost her bag, it seemed a bit strange to me. as soon as she realised i ran out and the taxi was still outside. i wanted to search it but the taxi driver was very abrupt and said there was no bag in it and drove off. this morning stefs mum rings me and says they have recieved a letter saying the bag has been found and giving a mobile number. i rang it and its our friend the taxi driver, wanting to know what his "reward" will be. i offered £20 and he says this is not enough and wants £100 for what he describes as his "kindness". i thought id speak to my girlfriend first but im very tempted to report him for theft, seeing as how he was dumb enough to write to my girlfriends parents on headed note paper. what a b*stard. its not like its worth anything to him. id like to arrange to meet him so i could kick him in the neck.


leg of lamb - queens of the stone age
mediocre generica - leftover crack
the widow - the mars volta
hyrogen slush - the isolationist
teethgrinder - therapy?

through the woods and over the years - QOTSA dvd

judge on trial - ivan klima

the three pepper angus burger...surprisingly good
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 weblog 23 published Mar 28, 2007 | no new comments
"my love she said you call yourself a man?
im just a man, im just a man i said"

whack of sh^t - the eighties matchbox b-line disaster

got offered a job on friday. my girlfriend was off so id just prepared a breakfast of bacon sandwiches and bloody marys to drop on our hangovers when the phone rang.
"good morning, is that mr lee? its ros here at multicorp. we'd like to offer you the job, starting on april 30th. we just need some more information about what you were doing in australia."
stef passed me a spliff. i had no intention of trying to find details of compaies i workied for abroad five years ago today.
i said "great" and took her number, saying id call back with the info.
monday afternoon i called back and she had gone home so i left the dates and addresses with her colleague.
tuesday she called me back and said that "unfortunately the training group is now full, we will contact you when a new training group is needed"
she thought this might be in july. JULY!!??
is it just me or is that sh^t? i assumed that ringing me and saying "we'd like to offer you a job" meant that i had a job. apparently not. gutted.

finsihed walk on the wild side, strongly recommended by both me and hemingway.
also reading more bukowski, found tales of ordinary madness in my new local library.

whack of sh^t - the eighties matchbox b-line disaster
here she comes now - nirvana
no aloha - the breeders
the sad punk - the pixies
dont need smoke to make myself disappear - p^ssed jeans

cherry flavour robinsons high juice..its a bit too good

judge on trial - ivan klima (the other czech writer)smiley
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 weblog 24 published Mar 21, 2007 | 7 replies
i drink all night
and i sleep all day
i drink all night
and i sleep all day
im feeling my way through the dark and i cant get out im feeling my way through the dark and i cant get out im feeling my way through the dark and i cant get out im feeling my way through the dark and i cant get out

psycho safari - the eighties matchbox b-line disaster



dear applicant,

thankyou for your interest in
multicorp international. we are pleased to invite you to an interview for the position of customer excellence analysis consultant. please attend at 06:30 tomorrow. enclosed is a set of volumes of application forms. please fill them out in triplicate as we will need to throw two copies away. although it may look like we are simply asking you to duplicate the information already held on your cv we would like to point out that cvs will not be accepted, neither will any additional sheets. the fact that we have given you two pages in which to write your name but only a 2cm square space to outline your employment history including full postal addresses is of no significance.
please also include details of exact dates and times when you have left work, taken holidays, been sick and on average how many times you need to urinate during the day.

for your assesment please attend promptly and have prepared in no more than eight acts and no less than six a musical performance entitled "oh! multicorp!" featuring an at least eight original compositions (one must be solo and one must be ensemble) one of which must also be entitled "oh! multicorp!". the musical must last no longer than 15 minutes and no less than 14:59. you must play the part of all characters and costumes will not be provided.

following your presentation we will conduct a competency based interview. expect to wait around for at least 3 hours before being interviewed by the work experience girl who will be blindfolded and will not have read your application.

the application form requires you to demonstrate specific compentencies required for this role. please compose a short moving vignette to illustrate each competency. you will be judged on narrative style, plot development, themes, imagery and originality.

below are samples...


a) think of a time whn you have fellated a goat to entertain a member of the papistry. how did you feel? how was the situation resolved?
b) please demonstrate your ability to defeat Mr T if he is armed with a knife and relate this to your experiences of customer service industries.
c) tell us about a time when you have had to turn yourself inside out to demonstrate a point. how could you relate this experience non-verbally?
d)we will not only expect you to bend over and take it but also to complement us on our technique and to cuddle us in the warm afterglow. please give an example of pillowesque platitudes.

again, thankyou for your interest. our starting wage is £12, 000 with the potential to develop excellent tumours and become infertile and emasculated. we welcome applications from all areas of the community and our workforce is diverse (they are deformed mutants).

thankyou

multicorp
together we will swallow you whole
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 weblog 25 published Mar 17, 2007 | 4 replies
i dont feel like feeling

face pollution - soundgarden

god almighty am i bored...oh, hang on someones trying to ring me, things are looking up.


failing that i may have a spliff and watch flash gordon.


face pollution - soundgarden
filler - minor threat
screaming at a wall - minor threat
get your guns - nine black alps
chemical warfare - dead kennedys
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