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Directed by Garry Marshall (Pretty Woman/Runaway Bride), Hudson plays the eponymous Helen, a twenty-something party girl whose career at a top Manhattan modelling agency is on the rise. She spends her days at fashion shows and her nights at the city’s hottest clubs. However, this carefree lifestyle comes to a screeching halt when she suddenly finds herself playing mother to her sister’s orphaned children. She is axed from her job – her domineering boss (Helen Mirren) is called Dominique, clever that; falls for a pastor (Sex And The City’s John Corbett), and falls out with her older sister, played excellently by the facially elastic Joan Cusack, on what it takes to be an All American Mom. I wanted to like this film. No really I did. Remember the harmless charm of those other self-indulgent-adult-forced-into-pseudo-parent-position comedies that were so popular in the late 80s: Baby Boom and Three Men and A Baby? No, me neither; but it does seem fair to have thought that bringing together a successful rom-com director (Marshall) and the star of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Le Divorce (Hudson) would have resulted in some jolly engaging saccharine fluff. Regrettably it doesn’t. Fundamental problem 1: the children. Such an integral part of the film, these youngsters evoke neither depth nor charm. 5-year-old Sarah (Abigail Breslin) has trouble tying her shoelaces without mom’s bunny story, and you can’t help but feel would be a touch more endearing if she wet the bed. Henry (Spencer Breslin) draws skulls and has a wit years beyond that of an average 10-year-old. And Hayden Panettiere, playing 15-year-old Audrey, does a Britney (post-2001) and tarts herself up, before doing a Britney again (pre-2001) and tarting herself down – a veritable tart rollercoaster for poor Audrey. Then there’s fundamental problem 2: Hudson’s daft and irksome Helen, whose emotional upheaval involves many bittersweet ‘realisations’. These include the discovery that dancing at 3am doesn’t mix with getting the kids to school on time (Duh); that buying the latest Elle magazine may not be as essential as getting groceries for those bloody annoying kids; and that when you feel like the audience may well be losing the will to live, fall up some stairs – that’s sure to raise some laughs. Overall, this movie comes across as poorly scripted and too long. Marshall seems unsure of what his message is, and Hudson plays it with a distinct lack of comic timing. Frankly, attempting to raise The RMS Titanic carries a greater chance of success than Raising Helen.
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