This week, Hollywood gets cross.

I still feel nauseous. It’s Wednesday evening and I spent the afternoon in a darkened theatre, box of Junior Mints in hand, watching Jim Caviezel go from pretty, pained Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane to quivering, bloody mass of flesh on the cross at Calvary. I didn’t finish much of the candy.

Mel Gibson undoubtedly faced a lot in making The Passion Of The Christ (out in the UK, 26 March). The iffy distribution prospects of a subtitled film performed in dead languages (Latin and Aramaic), the heated protests of Jewish advocacy groups who accused the movie of having anti-Semitic overtones, and, if Caviezel being struck by lightning during filming is any indication, the wrath of god. The media scrutiny has been relentless. A review of the film made the front page of the LA Times, unusual even in this Industry-centric town. But with Mad Max-ian fury, Gibson blasted naysayers, opening the film in over 3,000 theatres nationwide. According to early reports it’s taken $20m on the first day alone.

Impressive numbers, but is it any good? I should first state that I am absolutely a non-believer (of any religion at all, actually) and this is a movie for believers. For someone with no emotional ties to The New Testament, this story of Jesus’ Very Bad Day starts to look like a vanity collaboration between a sadist and a gore-loving make-up artist.

Though there are some nicely filmed flashback scenes, we really get no sense of Jesus’ supposed greatness. The man and his teachings become almost one-dimensional: “I choose to suffer for your sins,” repeated like a curse. As for the anti-Semitism concerns – the version that made it to theatres seems to place as much blame on the politically minded Romans as it does on the Jews. If anything, one Jew, Caiphus, is vilified while the others all pale in comparison to the Orc-like Roman soldiers who whip and torment Jesus. And why does the devil constantly appear, once with a fat, hairy-backed dwarf baby?

One thing that hasn’t been mentioned much is the actors’ impressive facility with Latin and Aramaic. That at least was utterly convincing. Still, the most enjoyable part of this movie-going experience was the cinema’s choice of trailers. Usually the trailers have at least a passing similarity to the film being shown. So what did we get for Gibson’s brutal, bloody film of religious pain and suffering? Kid-spy comedy Agent Cody Banks II and Two Brothers, a feel-good film about two tiger cubs. Jade Chang 27 February 04

useful link: www.thepassionofthechrist.com