It’s a long haul.

Tibor Fischer’s latest offering has the lot: life in a Barcelona sex club, mercenary adventures in the former Yugoslavia, a paperchase in Micronesia, fatal falling cows, helicopter crashes and a close encounter with “pure evil”. And yet, somehow, it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.

The ironically named Oceane is voluntarily housebound. The wide blue yonder is a source of fear and disillusionment to her. But she still likes to travel vicariously, using modern web technology. Then when she receives letters from a dead lover, she employs Audley, a debt collector, to investigate.

The plot, however, is merely a flimsy device by which to introduce a very loose love story about two people failing to cope with life. The problem is that until, perhaps, the last page, it’s hard to care about either character as Fischer turns their trials and tribulations into a series of shaggy dog stories which aren’t funny enough to compensate for their ultimate shallowness. Highly frustrating. (5/10) Michael Williams 10 October 03

Voyage To The End Of The Room by Tibor Fischer is out now, published by Chatto & Windus.

useful link: randomhouse: voyage to the end of the room