I want to share something with you guys that I’ve been thinking about for quite some time now. What do you think about calling me ‘Coach’ from now on? I really like the idea of you guys saying ‘ah, great article Coach!’ or ‘wear some clean pants Coach!’. All I ask is that you consider it, and in return I give you week 11’s Fumble.

Story that took the World by Storm

Before I write anything else, I must advise you all to watch Fox’s broadcast of the Cardinals’ game against the Seahawks. Fast forward to the point where seven seconds of the second quarter are remaining and you’ll find an incredible piece of footage. A father and son, both Seahawks fans with their faces painted, screaming into the camera. The boy (who has a Mohawk) looks like a cross between a school child and Ozzy Osbourne yet is only about five years old and does not know how to react to the camera… it doesn’t sound funny here, but you must watch it. Anyway….

Does a game ending in a tie for the first time since 2002 count as a big story? Not for those of us who went through the agony of watching the game.

People often use the phrase ‘I’d rather watch paint dry’ as if there is nothing less boring in the world than looking at walls and waiting for them to stop shining. To those that use the saying, I urge you to watch the overtime that took place between the Eagles and Bengals yesterday. Not only did it go on for about an hour (that’s no exaggeration), but also it was a display of absolute offensive incompetence from both sides. I’d have pulled my hair out, but my hairline is receding as it is.

(I can’ t stop ranting about this yet…) There is also the fact that the Bengals missed a 47 yard field goal in the last ten seconds that would have given them a victory against an appalling Eagles team. A field goal to win, come on man!!! Awful. I don’t know what to say; thinking about how agonisingly dull the game was makes me want to eat my fingers or something.

Oh well, at least that’s the Eagles pretty much out of the race to top the NFC East. On the basis of that performance, they are extremely fortunate to have five wins.

Game of the Weekend

Eagles @ Bengals, hahaha!! No, I shouldn’t even joke about that poor excuse for a football game.

Cowboys 14-10 Redskins

This was by no means the most entertaining game of the week, but it was probably the most significant. The NFC East is now the Giants' to lose, with a three game lead and only six to play. The match was scrappy and not all that pretty to watch, but the result is absolutely critical in terms of not only the division but also the playoff hopes of both teams.

Play of the Day

It might have happened on Thursday and insignificant in terms of the game, but Randy Moss' catch from Matt Cassel in the last second of the game between the Jets and the Pats was absolutely outstanding. I'm still not sure how he a)caught the ball, b)stayed in bounds and c)manages to keep his pseudo dreads so incredibly clean.

Awards Section:

-Team: OK, mentions go to the Colts for yet another comeback, the Jets for their escapades on Thursday, the Giants for yet another convincing win, the 49ers for managing to hammer the Rams, the Packers for putting in a great display to take out the Bears and the Titans for going 10-0.

But the winner this week are the Arizona Cardinals for the simple reason that they produced yet another wonderful offensive display against the Seahawks. They managed 458 yards and have once again been involved in one of the week’s most entertaining matches. I think we can safely say the Cardinals and Kurt Warner will be in the playoffs this year, and I can’t wait to see what they can do.

-Player: I’m sure this award would have gone to Brandon Jacobs if he’d have been given the ball in the second half of the Giants’ game against the Ravens. In the first quarter alone, he gained over 65 yards which is the average amount of yardage per game that Baltimore had conceded from the run in their previous nine games. Absolutely incredible, the man is a human tractor/lawnmower.

Other mentions must go to the Cardinals’ Boldin and Fitzgerald who amassed a total of 337 yards, Kurt Warner, Peyton Manning, Ryan Grant and Big Ben.

However, somewhat controversially I am going to give the award to Matt Cassel this week. He managed a 400-yard game with three TDs and 62 rushing yards against a very good Jets D. He’s taken a lot of stick since taking over from Tom Brady, but absolutely nobody can blame him for the Patriots’ failure to beat the Jets last Thursday.

-Coach:Purely for the reason that he was under immense pressure coming into this fixture, I'm going to give it to ol' Wade Phillips of the Cowboys. The majority of NFL games are 'must win' matches, but this really, REALLY was a must win game for Dallas. Phillips' team played well and only allowed the Redskins to convert 5 of 14 third down attempts. Good resistance against a very efficient offence.

-Rookie: Steve Slaton had an incredible week but he has won this award before. Due to this reason, step up Jonathan Stewart, your time has come. 130 rushing yards for the Panthers from 15 carries (average of 8.7 yards per play). Very impressive numbers from the 13th overall pick in the 2008 draft, and he’s got a lovely smile to boot. I reckon he’ll be doing toothpaste ads before long, you heard it here first.

Tim’s Favourite/Most Amusing/Most Interesting Moments of the 9-Hour Marathon :

1.Good to see Daunte Culpepper back on the field, he had a nice game for the truly awful Lions. Very strange to hear the commentators say ‘it’s all Detroit’ when they went up 10-0 against the Panthers. When was the last time that was said?!

2.How good to the Giants look? SERIOUSLY, how good?! Bring on Super Bowl number two, I can’t wait.

3.Great to see replays of Drew Brees and Jeremy Shockey arguing during the Saints’ game against Atlanta last week. But I will say this Drew: from having spoken to both of you when you were in London, Shockers would absolutely batter you in a fight.

4.Tyler Thigpen continues to impress me, and what a phenomenal 7th (yes, 7th!) round pick he is looking like.

5.I’ve been thinking more and more about the rib sandwich I talked about last week. I saw the ad for it again, and it looks more like a ham sandwich than anything else. Having said this, I was still enamoured with its radiance and I will be having one when I get to the States in a couple of weeks.

6.If the Colts are to make the playoffs, boy are they doing it the hard way. (Hmm, it normally annoys me when people say ‘boy are…’, it’s worrying that I have started using the phrase.)

7.Bizarre to see a 1st and 25 situation for the Eagles in overtime against the Bengals, but then again it was a very odd game overall. Great to see Philly struggling so hard though.

8.I can’t stop thinking about that father-son moment in the Seahawks game. Utterly hilarious.

9. Big shout out to my good friend Paulio who is in the States at the moment. He went to a college game (Harvard Vs Quakers), and also sat around in his hotel room with 12 donuts, a pizza and beers watching the NFL (the Philly game, poor guy) rather than sight-seeing. Good work!

Players most likely to need some TLC

Who says special teams players aren’t hard gits? I don’t think anyone has, I just wanted to write a high impact phrase. Speaking of which, the Texans’ player Leech nearly killed the Colts’ pun returner Simpson at the start of the 4th quarter of their game. He rammed him off the field in scenes reminiscent of Rocky II.

Antonio Chatman of the Bengals took an almighty hit from Mikell of the Eagles in the second quarter of their game. He took a shoulder to the head from a Philly defender that knocked him out cold and he lay injured on the field for a good five minutes. If you haven’t seen it, I want you to imagine what it’s like to be a man wrapped in steak who is then lowered into a cage full of lions. It would hurt quite a lot, and that’s why I wish Chatters a speedy recovery.

Giant douche award

Firstly, I must mention once again that referees are protecting the QB far more than they should. I saw a great example in the Eagles game yesterday, when a Philly player was penalised for roughing the passer during OT. I’ve seen the play several times now, and it is indicative of the fact that defenders are getting penalised far too often when their intentions are clearly kosher. Football is a contact sport; let’s keep it that way.

Whilst I would like to have awarded a collective douche award, I’m actually going to give it to Deangelo Williams of the Carolina Panthers. During a break in play, the broadcaster played the most cringe worthy VT in which Williams talked about how he loves card trading (especially the shiny ones) and wrestling amongst other hobbies that are popular amongst 12 year olds (sorry to those of you that count either of those as hobbies, no offense intended). You’re supposed to be a bad boy footballer Williams, not a collector!! Get a grip or nobody will be scared of you, jeez. Maybe getting my Giant Douche Award will set you straight.

The Raiders 8-8 Prediction Watch

At half-time in this game, the Raiders had managed to go 10 divisions without scoring a TD. Let me just repeat that; 10 quarters without a TD. Absolutely sensational, surely some sort of record. Anyway, they managed to break that duck against Miami with a kick off return TD in the third quarter (so the offence STILL has still failed to score after 12 quarters) and were 15-14 up with a minute to go. But with Oakland being Oakland, they managed to allow the Dolphins to score a field goal and defeat them.

What can I say? Really, what can I say? I predicted they’d go 8-8; they now have to win their remaining six games in order to achieve my dream. I’d say there is more chance of me reviving the London Monarchs and taking them to the Super Bowl (we can all dream).

Raiders in 2008: 2-8

I’m amazing at Fantasy Football…

Huge match-up this weekend with my team coming up against MTR’s, with the winning team having a great chance to take the division. Pre-game, I soiled myself when looking at the fact that Drew Brees was taking on the Chiefs. However, when the good times roll for Timmy P, they really do. He ended the half with only three points. Oh yes!! ‘You’re on your way to 7-4 Tim, you are the man’ I said to myself.

However, whilst Brees struggled with his game, Jones-Drew of the Jags scored 2 TDs and gained almost 100 yards which hurt my feelings deeply. Anyway the situation is this: MTR leads 82-80. He has the Bills defence to play, I have Jamal Lewis of the Browns. I think I've lost it, and my playoff dreams seem like a distant memory.

Calorie Meter

It’s a tough one to judge this week. From getting home from work on Friday, I didn’t leave my flat until Sunday lunchtime. During that period, I got through a large pizza (deep pan), nachos, cheesy garlic bread and some beers. During the football, I was drinking and also made some lovely fajitas. So, overall for the weekend, I probably broke 6000 calories. I know it wasn’t all during the marathon, but surely you realise what a great effort this is?

Girlfriend Annoyance Rating (GAR)

0/10 due to a combination of The Sopranos, my fajita dinner and some programme about a serial killer on some terrible cable channel. She was so enchanted by the latter that she wouldn’t even come over when I beckoned her to look at the screaming Seahawks ‘father-son’ moment.

Note to self: buy serial killer DVDs.

Monday Night/Thursday Night Football Predictions

Last week was an easy one, it wasn’t difficult to predict that the red-hot Cardinals would defeat the rather rubbish 49ers. That result took me to 6-4 and respectability, although given that I’m only just over .500 I’m feeling rather rubbish.

Browns @ Bills: If this match-up had taken place several weeks ago, I wouldn’t have found it tough to predict a Bills win. However, Buffalo have lost their last four games and it looks as though all their good early season work is being eaten up by an offence that is struggling. I’m not sure why, but I think the Browns will sneak this 21-15.

Bengals @ Steelers: A new segment, Thursday night predictions (albeit starting two weeks late). Simple formula here: awful Bengals Vs good Steelers= Pittsburgh win, 3-18.

So guys, what do you say? Are you going to call me ‘Coach’ from now on? What did you make of the weekend’s action?