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All Things Bright and Beautiful

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Danny Baker

I'm thinking of getting a poker-style game going among the Tuesday night pirates this evening.

Here's how we'll play it.

You must have to hand TWO non-footballing facts about people who have, at any point, played for your team. You say the first fact and then the other caller says theirs.

So, for example.

Caller A (representing Lincoln), "For my first card I will lay down: Louis Franks who played for us in 1963 was the third man to climb Mount Everest".

Caller B (representing Sheffield Utd), "I see that and raise it by: Dennis Wren, who played for us in 1970, was the son of the woman who invented grease-proof paper".

At this point Issy and I will weigh the evidence and declare who has the most impressive claim.

Then we do it again with the callers' second player boasts.

In the event of a tie, callers must have a backhand which is a description of the first autograph (football or otherwise) they ever asked for. If you never have, then the first famous person you recall seeing in the flesh.

Judge's decision is final. There is no prize. Just the joy of winning and crushing a fellow pirate's dreams.

Online, feel free to discuss players' non-footballing achievements at length if you are not the gambling type.

(Note: no Distinguished Charity Work please. We need to keep this good and startling).

Also, have you ever been in a footballer's house?

Can lower league players dance? (Evidence yay or nay please)

And has anyone ever been USELESS at school before going on to play the game for a living? (And vice-versa. Mark Barker used to play in defence in my Sunday side when we were about 13. If ANYONE was going to go on and be a pro it was Mark Barker. Nobody got past Mark Barker. Last heard of driving a lorry for a living. What happened?)

To horse!

DB

606 with Danny Baker is on BBC Radio 5 live, Tuesdays at 10pm. Watch live at 5 live's website or by pressing red on your digital TV remote control. We may use any comments on this thread as part of the programme - but only if they're good - so get commenting!

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posted Nov 11, 2008

Danny Baker is a prat.
How the BBC have given him Tuesday's 606 is unbelieveable.
He ruins the show and I wish the BBC would just get Tim Lovejoy in to cover both midweek 606 then Baker.

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comment by elstrup (U5783167)

posted Nov 11, 2008

russell brand wouldn't be where he is without his little brother. I mooned Danny Baker once. He returned the favour while shopping in M&S. His left arse cheek has a Crystal Palace emblem emblazened across it.
winkeye

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posted Nov 11, 2008

"Bill Shankly was at Carlisle and he always said he had a good laugh up there. Just the name is enough to make you laugh - Carlisle!"

Yes, yes...

It's not as funny as Cockermouth, though.

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posted Nov 11, 2008

"russell brand wouldn't be where he is without his little brother."

Jo Brand is a lady, and surely the older sibling?

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posted Nov 11, 2008

Danny's mouth is so big I'm surprised his brain hasn't fallen out of it yet, or maybe it has. How on earth can he crticise an Arsenal performance simply because the team is full of youngsters? 3-0 Danny boy! 5-0 last time. And in front of a full house paying Carling Cup prices, like last time. If the show is going to be entertaining you go and watch it. I would rather watch a side of youngsters win 3-0 than a side of "stars" struggle to 1-0 or worse.

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posted Nov 11, 2008

WOW, Aresenal youngsters winning against those scrubs is like saying your the worlds tallest midget, what's the point?

Millwall resides in Michigan

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posted Nov 11, 2008

Danny

I think I have scored a hat-trick tonight!!

There was once a lad at our school called G Simmonds(Simmo) - He was the best player you have ever seen.... I'm told he now works in a shoe factory and makes football boot outsides for a living!!! Rough justice!!

Lower league players can dance...although it can be quite dangerous!!
we went to see a non-league game in a kent lower league, with only about 12 spectators. The home team scored and all the players gathered in a Roger Milla style around the corner flag. The goal keeper obviously knew what was happoening and ran the length of the field to join in the weird celebration dance. He tripped as he arrived and headbutted those metal poles they have around the lower league grounds and cut his head open!! It was like one of those videos you made many years ago and he had to be helped off!!

To top it all I once played at QPR in a football Aid charity match and we got the full trimmings around the stadium and pregame.
As the game was about to start we were warming up and the ref blew the whistle for kick off. We seemed to be doing very poorly and it looked like we were going to get walked all over......until the ref blew up and we stopped the game to ask why we only had 10 players.... we soon realised the number 5 was missing and we realised he had gone to the loo just before the game started....only QPR were so security conscious that they locked the changing rooms and he was still in there!!! he got a rousing reception when he arrived on the pitch to the laughs of the 500 people in the crowd!!

Marcus from Aylesbury

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posted Nov 11, 2008


"Not as funny as Cockermouth, though"!
Excellent work, Floyd. Bit rude, but only to be expected from a wrist watch burier. But don't be wasting your time.....and your cleverly disguised insults.....on me. Get in touch with the BBC Writersroom. They enjoy all manner of suggestiveness and innuendo (in-you-end-oh! - have that for nothing, pal) and even lewdness of the most gross kind. You'll be a tremendous success, I'm sure. Just don't mention that you're from Carlisle because they might just think you're a hick from some wool loving backwater and they'll start laughing - like I did. Best of luck, Floyd.

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posted Nov 11, 2008

Thanks Localsmog for your comments which Issy read out on our 5Live 606 pirate ship tonight. We'd like to include more on air contributions from these forums, so keep posting. Thanks everyone. DB

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posted Dec 9, 2008

Does nt Wolves manager Mick Mccarthy sound like organ playing comedy turn John Shuttleworth ?

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