I had a headache last night and it really hurt. There was only one thing that could possibly cure it; another great haircut. And by God I found it. Domata Peko of the Bengals is my new hero, and made week five my favourite one of this NFL season so far. Enjoy this week’s Fumble.

Story that took the World by Storm

Well, the main thing people are talking about is whether Domata Peko uses separate shampoo and conditioner or if he is a fan of using an all in one substance. I’m not sure, but a lot of football fans are very keen to find out.

On the field (which is unimportant in comparison), the Redskins beat the Eagles, which is a big result in the extremely competitive NFC East. Indeed, Philadelphia might well have blown their chances of reaching the playoffs already despite only five games having been completed.

This is all despite the fact that the Eagles coasted into a 14-0 lead and looked like hammering Washington early on in the game. Can we write off Philly? Pretty much. The NFC East really is a beast. (I would like to have written a much harsher word to describe the division, but this is a family website.)

A mention must also go to the game which took place in Miami between the Dolphins and the Chargers. I don't think many people predicted that San Diego would be 2-3 after five games, even if one of those losses was down to a refereeing error. LT struggled again, the run defence couldn't stop Ronnie Brown and the Chargers failed to take advantage of good field position regularly. Very worrying times for San Diego fans (closeted ones included).

Game of the Weekend

Colts 31-27 Texans

The Colts and Texans played out a fantastic divisional contest in Houston. It’s getting my vote for game of the weekend on the basis that the fourth quarter was absolutely sensational. I really thought the Colts were going 1-3 (and I’m now convinced they won’t win the AFC), but they showed incredible strength to pull through (albeit thanks to some incredibly sloppy play from Rosenfels).

The 4th quarter contained 28 of the game’s 58 points, had four TDs, fumbles, interceptions and several big hits. Lovely jubbly.

Play of the Day

Several beauties to pick from. Lee Evans’ 87 yard TD from a J.P Losman pass for the Bills, Aaron Rodgers threw a peach of a pass to Driver for a 44 yard TD which the receiver caught despite the attention of two defensive backs, and the Miami D defended heroically on 4th and 1 on their own goal-line as the Chargers pushed for a touchdown towards the end of their match. Oh, and Patrick Crayton’s accidental catch for the Cowboys was nice too.

However, the play of the week goes to the Colts and Reggie Wayne. Down 24-27 with a couple of minutes to go, Peyton Manning threw a high, looping pass into the end zone. Wayne leaped into the air, caught the ball one-handed, got the toes of his feet down and dropped down on to his shin before rolling out of play like a slug trying to get away from a big squirrel. It truly is a sensational catch (and game winning play); check it out when you get a minute.

Awards Section:

-Team: I very nearly gave this week’s award to the Colts, and they deserve an extended mention. They were losing 10-27 with a few minutes left on the clock, but came back to win 31-27 having scored 21 points in two fourth quarter minutes. Quite incredible. The Giants were also brilliant against the Seahawks and they are showing that their Super Bowl win was no fluke.

However, both teams have been pipped to the post by the Atlanta Falcons who were expected to get annihilated by the Packers at Lambeau Field. It didn’t happen. Whilst the game was essentially decided by Green Bay giving away nine penalties (and 92 yards), the fact is that the Falcons beat an extremely good team with a rookie QB and against a very decent D. For a team that was expected to win four of five games this season, Atlanta are doing an excellent impression of a very competent team. Well done lads.

-Player: Quick mentions for my man Chris Cooley who had his best game of the season due to our chat last week, Kyle Orton who gained 334 yards for the Bears, and Clinton Portis and Brandon Jacobs had huge games for Washington and the Giants respectively. Oh, and big respect to Jason Taylor for standing on the touchline in Philly and encouraging his teammates non-stop despite the fact he is injured.

For the first time this season, I’m giving the award to a defensive player (don’t expect to see it happen often), and Matt Roth (OLB for the Dolphins) is the man who will be able to give his mum the good news tonight. He blocked absolutely brilliantly and was constantly pressurising Phillip Rivers in a performance that suggests he could become a very big player for the Dolphins.

-Coach: The Dolphins are doing a very good impression of a good team, and a lot of that is down to the coaching of Tony Sparano. His adoption of the wildcat formation has proven to be inspirational, as Ronnie Brown has run absolutely riot when given the ball directly from the snap. When he took over, the Dolphins genuinely looked like the worst NFL side of all time. They are now 2-2 and have beaten the Chargers and the Patriots. You have an unbelievable cool name, and you’re also my coach of the week Mr. Sporano.

-Rookie:Chris Horton of the Redskins came close, but I’m going to give it to Steve Slaton of the Texans this week. Despite playing behind a pretty poor OL, Slaton ran for 93 yards against the Colts with an average rush of 5.8, and scored two touchdowns. It’s about time I gave this award to someone who isn’t playing for one of the top teams in the league, so I’m proud to honour you Mr. Slaton. Now go home and tell your gran about it, maybe she’ll bake you a cake or something.

Tim’s Favourite/Most Amusing/Most Interesting Moments of the 9-Hour Marathon :

1. A fit and healthy Brian Westbrook totally changes the Eagles. It is therefore a massive shame that he took some sort of beating in the chest that resulted in him being useless for the majority of their game yesterday. The Eagles desperately need him to stay healthy.

2. I’m increasingly convinced that the only beers I’m going to drink from now on will be those with supreme drinkability.

3.The Dolphins are obsessed with the wildcat formation, and it continues to work! Ronnie Brown is ridiculous!

4. What's happened to LT? He was on great form last year but just doesn't look like the same player this season. He's struggling to find gaps and is frequently being stopped at the line of scrimmage.

5. I love how footballers batter their teammates after a good play. I saw quite a few plays today where players would punch their colleague in the head to congratulate them. Bizarre, but I like it.

6. I saw a 60 year old woman with a fake block of cheese on her head at the Packers game. I repeat, I saw an elderly woman with a fake block of cheese on her head and weird sunglasses smiling and dancing. I’m going mad.

7. It was raining in Miami yesterday. For those of you that moan about the British weather, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side (but it is most of the time). Incidentally, the stadium looked less than half full. Poor effort.

8. Seattle are in trouble due to their wide receiver issues. It looked as though Hasselbeck had no idea who he was playing with.

9. Kurt Warner is an absolute warrior. Not only did he play nearly flawless football, but he also got bopped on the chin and didn’t even realise he was bleeding. Myself and Kurt share a lot of the same personality traits.

10. NFL quarterbacks are all involved in a campaign to get fat kids playing sport. I find that quite funny, which makes me a terrible person.

11. Chad Pennington really is a great QB. He might not be the most spectacular, but the guy deserves some credit. He is leading the Dolphins to victories, the Dolphins!!!!! They do however have massive problems converting third downs that are longer than five yards.

12. I wonder if Chris Cooley dedicated his TD to me? I’m pretty sure I inspired him.

13. I’m sorry, but after watching the Titans yesterday I still believe some of my pre-season criticisms are valid. They’re not bad as I thought they were, but they’re also not worthy of their 5-0 status.

14. J.P Losman played pretty well at QB after Edwards had gone off with concussion, shame that the defence was utterly awful.

15. Carson Palmer is a good QB playing in a poor team, Matt Cassel is an average QB playing in a very good team. It would make no sense to do it, but please can the powers that be sort a trade out? I want these guys to have the lives they deserve man, the lives they deserve!

Players most likely to need some TLC

In the third play of the first quarter of the Bills’ game against the Cardinals, Trent Edwards took an almighty crack to the ribs/head from an Arizona defender. As Edwards got carted off, I’m ashamed to say I thought the expression on his face was quite funny. He genuinely had no idea where he was yet was being wheeled off in a buggy. He’ll be fine, but he will need some serious TLC.

Giant douche award

Clinton Hart gets a special mention, as he gave away one of the most ridiculous and costly pass interference penalties of the week. With the Dolphins pinned into their own end zone facing third and long, all the Chargers needed to do was keep calm and they would have regained possession. That very nearly happened. Pennington threw a hopeful pass towards his tight end, which he had no chance of catching. Hart inexplicably held him down as he made a half-hearted jump towards the ball. I pity the fool!

But the Biggest Douche in the Universe this week is the QB for the Texans, Sage Rosenfels. Now, on the face of things you’d think that 21 completions from 33 attempts for 246 yards and a TD isn’t too bad. But that doesn’t tell the story of the veteran’s fourth quarter, and it’s a nightmare almost as bad as the one I had many years ago when Freddy Krueger chased me round my bed singing nursery rhymes. Freaky, I know.

With the Texans leading 27-17 and four minutes left on the clock, Rosenfels went on a run, a glorious run. At the end of it, he jumped high into the air, got pounded by three Colts players and lost the ball. The fumble was returned for a TD by Gary Brackett. OK, it was an error, and the Texans still led 27-24 with three minutes to go.

But then it happened again. Sage went on another big run without remembering that players could tackle him, and Robert Mathis battered the ball out of his hands as he ran like Forrest Gump on acid. Turnover complete, Peyton Manning did the rest with the glorious pass to Reggie Wayne to win the game, and Rosenfels had made about 70000 people very unhappy. You were unlucky Sage, but regardless, you have the honour of being week five’s Douche of the Week.

The Raiders 8-8 Prediction Watch

A bye week means that my poor heart can rest for a week. Al Davis’ midweek press conference in which he announced that he had predictably fired Lane Kiffin was hilarious, tragic, weird and horrendous. I watched it live (whilst in my pants of course) and couldn’t look away. It was similar to watching your Dad have a go at your vegetarian girlfriend for not eating a meat dish when she is served it by accident in a restaurant; you want to laugh, but you know you shouldn’t. (That did actually happen to me and in retrospect I give my Pops enormous credit.)

Woe is my Fantasy Football team…:

1737: It’s another big one. Tim Vs Whaler, a battle between two fantasy football giants. I’m nervous but I believe I’m going 2-3.

2031: I’m 20 points down because of the outstanding Chicago D, but with two running backs still to play I’m feeling confident.

0100: I’m one point behind with four guys still to get on the field. Whaler only has his kicker to play. Looks like I’m going 2-3!! I really am starting to think I’m brilliant at Fantasy Football.

Calorie Meter

My tamest week so far. I went out on a big night on Friday, spent all of Saturday in my flat with a pizza, and barely left my residence yesterday either.

For that reason, I felt incredibly unhealthy so made a cod bake. It was delicious, but I've let you guys, my family and myself down by not having at least a beer. I did however eat a whole bag of pork scratchings, which is a pretty good effort, and that portion alone contained at least 45 grams of fat. Nice!

Girlfriend Annoyance Rating (GAR)

I’ve worked out that you need to go out with a girlfriend for 14 months before you can be yourself and behave disgracefully in front of her. With that in mind (and the knowledge that I am well past that threshold), I went into week five expecting a big fight. I decided to sit in my pants from the start of game one at six (but then realised it was freezing so I didn’t). However, something has changed.

After several weeks of calm in the Love household, the cracks are starting to show. My lady was desperate for attention, climbing on me several times and consistently trying to talk to me, and even saying 'this NFL thing is starting to annoy me'. We all know that this kind of behaviour just ain't on, and for that reason this week's GAR is the highest yet. 7/10.

Monday Night Football Predictions

I’m on absolute fire now having predicted week’s two, three and four correctly. This week, I thought the Steelers would beat the Ravens in a low scoring game, and I was right. What does this all mean? Am I the nation’s top NFL pundit? Are my Halo skills transferring to football predictions? I don’t know, but the important thing is that I’m right AGAIN boys, AGAIN. 2008 total: 3-2.

Vikings Vs Saints: I actually feel this game could go either way, but I’m going to be brave and suggest that Minnesota will pull this one out the bag in a high scoring beauty, 34-31.

Well, we've had another fantastic Fumble and we're all keen for more, but that's it for this week. So, what did you make of the weekend's action? Gallery or Peko?…