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Arrivederci - and good riddance

Euro 2008
by Robbo Robson (U5722413) 23 June 2008
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Derek 'Robbo' Robson

Thank God Italy are out, eh?

What a tight-fisted, mean-spirited, uninspiring, desperate and downright miserable way to approach a game of football.

Someone told me the 1990 World Cup theme song Nessun Dorma translates as 'Never Sleep'. But if you play like that, what the hell are we supposed to do?

The last time I saw a team approach a game like this it was Exeter City at home to Man U in the Cup. That made sense. Italy are the World Champions! Two years ago they were the best team in the world.

Of course, you don't want to be giving Fern 'n' Dave
the freedom of the park, but I was reminded of watching someone jumping off a tall building and grabbing a perfectly happy bloke on the way down.

It's not like there aren't decent forwards in the Italian squad – Di Natale made a difference for a brief while when he came on, although Luca Toni seems to have been taken over by the ghost of Paul Mariner.

You might argue that without Pirlo, Italy weren't able to create as much. Depends what you mean by 'create'. The team was so uninspired that if you'd have given them the opportunity to create their own pizza they'd never have got past cheese and tomato.

They couldn't have found flair in a 1970s jeans emporium. I've seen two-toed sloths with more ambition.

Maybe they were scarred by the Dutch, who beat them when they were doing that most ambitious of things - TRYING TO SCORE A GOAL. And you can't deny that Chiellini was outstanding and Panucci not far behind.

But come the second half, me and the boys at the Blue Bell were downright furious. It should be said that the way England played in the last World Cup wasn't very different – lots of earnest scrapping but no chances created and an over-reliance on a Bolton-esque winner from a free-kick.

I hope Capello wasn't sitting there smiling and nodding his head in approval. If I want that sort of entertainment I'll sit in an ice-bath and listen to Jade Goody reading Shakespeare while a blind sadist grates my fingertips.

You could argue that we all knew it was going to be like this and that Spain should've played better. True enough. Senna had another very sound game but we needed a moment from Villa or Torres to get the game kick-started.

For the moment we can all take a breather. Wimbledon started Monday. Joy of joys. Derek 'Robbo' Robson

Instead, Villa resorted to woeful belly-flopping and the sort of cry-baby whingeing at his team-mates that made Cristiano Ronaldo look like John Wayne. Torres, meanwhile, was replaced by the very pointy-faceed Guiza - a geezer who proceeded to play like a man in fear of his life.

Since Germany 2006, the first thing you do when a game reaches penalties is see who's up for it. Senna looked relaxed but Guiza looked like he'd taken too much senna. You knew Di Natale was going to miss too.

But while penalties guarantee a dramatic ending, extra-time was ruined by the fact teams would rather take their chances in a shoot-out than get on with winning the game.

Start extra-time with nine v nine. Reduce it every five or 10 minutes by one player each - and if after 30 minutes you still haven't got a winner, just keep playing 'til someone scores. Then a team like Italy would have to attack. Job done.

There was only one thing I enjoyed about Sunday's game and that was Motty's pronunciation. This is a man who I will always remember for his epic description of the 1981 FA Cup winning goal by one Ricky Veal-Ear.

During Italy-Spain we had Capdeveal-ear and even better Di Natalie (as in Portman). It's not up there with Mick Channon's 'the boy Line-Acre' – or some of David Pleat's attempts to say Bennayoun, but I like it.

Maybe we've been spoilt... Germany v Portugal
was top-notch entertainment and Schweinsteiger's goal was a masterful team effort.

Holland were thoroughly outplayed by the Russians and Arshavin – top of David Moyes's wish-list so the papers say, but he can kiss that goodbye now – has emerged as the best player in the tournament.

Croatia v Turkey, while not thrill-a-minute stuff, was full of fight and passion and just made you wish you were in the stadium – and of course the finish was sensational with the Turkish equaliser in the 11.99999999th hour by the appropriately named Semih.

The Germans will be in the final now that the Turkish squad haven't even got a Walcott to warm the bench and bring round the tea, it's so racked with injury.

And I can see Hiddink's genius coming to the fore for a second time against Spain. Fabio's fine, but the Dutchman was always my pick as McClaren's replacement.

Here's my team of the quarters:
Casillas
Altintop, Chiellini, R. Kovac, Lahm
Schweinsteiger, Senna, Ballack, Sneijder,
Arshavin, Pavluychenko.
Feel free to slag it off, people – like you need asking.

In the meantime we can all take a breather. Wimbledon started Monday. Joy of joys.

Isn't it enough that we can ignore British sporting underachievement in the footie, without it being rammed down our throats by a whole series of paltry efforts from feeble racquet-wafting chaps and gals with wild cards? (Wild cards? Jokers more like.)

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comment by el-nickpcr-io (U8252231)

posted Jun 27, 2008

Corzellian, I think if you look at Euro 2008 Italy played one defensive game, against Spain (and even then they managed the best chances and had as many shots as Russia managed).

Against Holland they never sat back (and got demolished), against Romania they needed to win (and got caught on the break) and against France they dominated.

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comment by corzellian (U9314173)

posted Jun 27, 2008


Nickpr........

The sum total of Italy's 'attacking' efforts were a tap in, a penalty and an outrageous deflection. That in four hours of football.

They are the world champions yet at no time did they remotely resemble a team who could progress, except when they played an even poorer French team.

The fact is that the tournament was no poorer for their elimination, not something you can usually say about Italy.

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comment by el-nickpcr-io (U8252231)

posted Jun 27, 2008

Corzellian, that's completely true but that's not what I was talking about. Yes, Italy were woeful in this tournament, but I think it is inaccurate to say that they just tried to play defensively the whole time, as I outlined above. Criticise them by all means, but do it for the right reasons.

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comment by Cockney_Eyetie(Revenge was sweet!) (U1777580)

posted Jun 27, 2008

The sum total of Italy's 'attacking' efforts were a tap in, a penalty and an outrageous deflection. That in four hours of football.
-------------------------
Did'nt Luca Toni miss something like 20 chances in the 3 group matches? This would suggest Italian attacks ?

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comment by corzellian (U9314173)

posted Jun 27, 2008


I'm sure if I looked up 'il lucatoni' in an Italian dictionary it would say 'a donkey fed on scraps'!

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comment by el-nickpcr-io (U8252231)

posted Jun 27, 2008

Yeah, he didn't have the best time really. Lippi will sort him out.

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comment by Cockney_Eyetie(Revenge was sweet!) (U1777580)

posted Jun 27, 2008

laugh

The Italian John Barnes,great at club level,rubbish at International.

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comment by el-nickpcr-io (U8252231)

posted Jun 27, 2008

He's actually got a really good goalscoring record for the national side - but he was dire this time out and didn't exactly shine in the last World Cup either. Odd.

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comment by Partenopei per sempre (U8190497)

posted Jun 28, 2008

I dont understand this criticism at all.

Spain are a very good team and were favorites to win.

Italy were out of form and had many first choice players unavailable.

the tactics was to defend strongly (which they did) and to try and score on counter attack.

Unfortunately, Spain worked VERY hard on defense themselves and cut off our lines of attack just as we did to them.

these kind of games happen now and again.

Italy took Spain to a penalty shootaout. all other teams who have played them have consede at least 2 goals and lost.

please explain to me the reaon for the anger?

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comment by nickdrago (U12518644)

posted Jul 10, 2008

Bravo Robbo!, very original! talking about Italy and mentioning...pizza, cheese, tomato,
an english way to the same old stereotypes and racism...

Nothing to do, your english sense of inferiority
towards Italian winnings is unbeatable, you'd' need a psyc, not a new Trainer (btw, you choose Capello, an Italian..and not the most offensive -playing, they say, but sure the most winner..may be Mr Lippi will give you other lessons of attacking football!)

Spain deserved to win, and all Italian press told so, but read the praises that Aragoines told of Italy, and try to understand.. (before, a good psyc, eh?)

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