I've had some pretty dodgy moments on the golf course over the years, but none have come remotely close to my experiences last week at Gleneagles.

Now, I'd not played for a few months beforehand, so I went for a couple of buckets on the range and seemed to be hitting the ball as well as I ever had.

The driver was a little wayward, but the three wood was working well and the short irons, while not travelling huge distances, were at least going straight.

So on to the first tee on the King's Course and the starter managed to sneak us in before a few corporate fourballs that were lingering.

And what an opening hole - one of the most picturesque I've played with its generous fairway rising up to a plateau green framed by bunkers. Beautiful.

I was up first and opted for safety with the three wood and thought a simple swing and 200 yards down the fairway would be a decent opening.

But then the wheels fell off, in spectacular fashion.

I cut right inside my tee shot and and sliced the ball 30 yards to my right (wasn't a proper shank, but not far off) and on to the 18th green to the surprise of a couple of greenkeepers.

My two brothers fell about laughing, while my dad offered a little more sympathy, before the three of them hit decent enough shots down the middle.

Graciously they allowed me tee up again, but the same happened, although thankfully I cleared the green and its keepers this time.

I could feel the stares of the dozen or so assembled golfers behind and knew the thoughts going through their minds that they didn't want to follow this hacker round the next 18 holes!

I played the ball beyond the green and topped it into the rough 30 yards in front of me and by now, even though it was a misty and slightly chilly morning, the sweat was beginning to pour.

I tried to remain calm, but with the other three casually stood waiting by their balls which were still a good 100-150 yards down the fairway as I searched in the thick rough, it was tough.

And a glance behind revealed the next fourball waiting to tee off.

So I gave up the search, dropped a ball and pulled a wedge out of the bag and thankfully managed to find the first fairway, at last.

I still missed the green with my next shot and lost that ball in the rough - I ended up dropping a ball on the green and rolling a couple of putts holeward in an effort to calm myself down.

Needless to say the three-wood was buried in the bag and the scorecard went out the window straight away and I resolved to just enjoy the remaining 17 holes and get round without losing all the balls in my bag!

It was not all doom as I managed to drive the par four 14th in one (only 250 yards with a slight following breeze), missed a 25-foot eagle putt, but left it close enough for a birdie tap-in.

And coming down the 18th, after hitting my drive into one of the ridiculously cavernous fairway bunkers and managing to blast out up a 20-foot face (coming out sideways, or even backwards was not an option!) I pulled the three wood out to prove to myself that I could use the bloody thing and drilled one to just off the green.

What a great course though - it was my first time there, but hopefully not my last.

The King's is easily the hardest I have played with its blind tee shots, bunkers and deep, deep rough, but it was the most enjoyable afternoon I've spent playing golf.

But how about you - any first-hole mishaps or nightmares to match mine?