218 comments
It's great to be a Euro neutral!Euro 2008 by Robbo Robson (U5722413) 28 May 2008   It's going to be a relaxing summer. I'm going to be spending more time on the couch than Freddie Flintoff. We were one goal away from still having to listen to Smiley Steve Derek 'Robbo' Robson You know what I mean: Alans Hansen and Shearer insisting that England have the best squad out there and that this is our time, then we play so badly that you could see more successful passes completed by a shy pensioner in a convent. Wrighty jumping up and down on one of them weird in-studio sofas like Tom Cruise on a bouncy castle and uttering pearls of wisdom like: "If we can get a goal we'll be level." A week before kick-off there's some klutz or other (usually more than one, but not necessarily Rio) reeling out of a bar at three in the morning having got into a scrap with some lippy lads about whether he's worth 100k a week. A national outcry at the horrible nature of the young men that represent our country; the distant sound of English metatarsals pinging; Gary Lineker's face dropping like a stone as England scramble an unconvincing draw in the first game. Some minor celebrity status for the local chief of police at England's first game, whose job it is to organise a bunch of panicky baton-wielders in the face of beery abuse from a bunch of lobster-coloured scumbags who dare to call themselves fans (although the Champs league final suggested that the true fans can travel abroad without making a bloody nuisance of themselves). Bouts of footy-induced man flu which suddenly clear up the moment some knees-knocking numpty ("You know David Batty well, Kevin, is he going to score?" "Yes!" OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!) misses the last penalty and Germany/Portugal have booted us out again. No, we've been spared so much this summer. We were one Croatian goal away from still having to listen to Smiley Steve uttering those embarrassing homages to Stevie G and Wazza! Thank you, thank you Mladen Petric! I guess Baddiel and Skinner are going to be missing out on a few royalties 'cos there won't be any late night hollering of the unofficial English anthem this year either. I won't be slipping into my Y-fronts of fateDerek 'Robbo' Robson Actually these days most European fans seem to sing "It's coming home, it's coming, football's coming home" which would be a bloody liberty if the Austrians start singing it. "Bobsleigh’s coming home", maybe. So we can just sit back and enjoy without some doom-laden must-win fixture looming towards us. The biennial superstitions can take a running jump 'n' all. I won't be slipping into my Y-fronts of fate and sliding on to my bar stool of fortune while sipping my lucky lager from my pint glass of providence. I won't be peeing into the latrine of good hope or smoking my fair wind fags. (Not that any of this has ever bloody worked. Never mind England, Brad Pitt couldn't score in them pants.) It'll be great! Will Portugal roll and tumble to spot-kick glory? Can Germany continue to play inefficient but exciting stuff? Can the Dutch get through a tournament without a big girly strop somewhere? (I know they treasure the folk tale about the boy and the dyke but I think it's time they pulled their finger out.) Will Spain reign ever again or is it too much to hope that Catalans, Basques and Castilians can play together in perfect harmony? Can Thierry Henry ever play well in a French shirt? And will Austria do the decent thing and stand aside on the basis of being cack and let the Scots have a game after all? We'll miss Messi and Kaka (sound like a couple of foul-mouthed puppets, don't they?) but it's going to be pain-free (Austria v Poland aside). I hope Germany win it. Crikey, I've NEVER said that before. But they were top entertainment two years ago and if they can play like that this time then good luck to 'em. Latest 10 commentsRead members' comments or add your own
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JGW (U2637773) posted Jun 2, 2008 "I'll be watching the footie and enjoying it but I'll not be following any particular side. Just as long as Russia and their petrodollars don't buy their way into the final may the best side win."
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DoctorBoroLove (U8303026) posted Jun 2, 2008 Hiddink ain't paid in Siberian Salt my naive little tavarich.
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Brandyrecovery (U5707270) posted Jun 3, 2008 Doctor Boro - what a tit.
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Championship_Swan (U12092040) posted Jun 3, 2008 This team that I'm supporting did not excite me in Euro 2000 or World Cup 2002, infact, I dont remember them being there, then in Euro 2004, the exploded into a great team and in a group game, they made one of the greatest Euro matches against Holland, unfortunately, they didn't do as well in World Cup 2006, crashing out.
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Reaneyofftheline (U8117082) posted Jun 5, 2008 For perhaps the first time ever I disagree with Robbo: I think the Euros are a bland affair compared to the World Cup, which has much more colour. I love the culture clash of a fixture like Brazil v Russia. And the longer length of a tournament is a plus, not a minus! I will find these Euros more difficult to engage in as we are not there, but, if we had to miss one tournament, I would rather it was this than the World Cup.
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DoctorBoroLove (U8303026) posted Jun 5, 2008 comment by Brandyrecovery (U5707270)
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DoctorBoroLove (U8303026)
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Speedyreidy67 (U5711759) posted Jun 6, 2008 how is it good that your team isnt at the euros.
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maldiniforzamilano (U10650478) posted Jun 7, 2008 ust as long as Russia and their petrodollars don't buy their way into the final
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Cassano for 2010 (U10452698) posted Jun 20, 2008 comment by ME Comment on this article
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