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Ron in a Million!

Premier League Manchester United
by Robbo Robson (U5722413) 31 March 2008
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Derek 'Robbo' Robson

Well that's that, then. Game over, I reckon. You just can't see Man U losing more points than the other two come the end of the season.

Liverpool will hold off the shrinking squad at Everton for fourth spot. (Actually, Pompey could still pip the Toffees for fifth). And the current bottom three are deservedly doomed.

Derby have been spanked more often than a mystery blonde in a private video.

Fulham have been dreadful, despite Lawrie Sanchez's inspired attempt to try and convince David Healy he was playing for Northern Ireland every week - by surrounding him with compatriots.

Roy Hodgson has worn the look of a senior executive from BA for a good few weeks now – and in Fulham's case it is Terminal.

As for Bolton's hiring of Gary 'if I can't get you down, no one can' Megson, well it never made sense. The Wanderers' inept efforts this season have at least put Big Sam's achievements into some sort of perspective - Merlin himself couldn't've done a better job at the Reebok.

Still, Gary's one of them managers who keeps bobbing up somewhere else and not really succeeding there either...it's called the Dowie phenomenon, or the Souness effect.

Of the candidates in the ladies-excuse-me that is the Championship race this season, you can't see any of 'em surviving next year, unless the mighty Mowbray finds a defence from somewhere.

Sometimes Ronaldo looks like a drag artist without the wig onDerek 'Robbo' Robson

Personally I'd like to see Hull go up as they've never been a top-tier team and frankly if you live there you could do with cheering up (and yes, that is rich coming from a Smoggy).

But I have to say the discussions in the Blue Bell on Saturday were not about the things to come. I happened to say I thought Cristiano Ronaldo was now the best player to ever play in the Premier League. Well that put a fire under even the mildest man's backside.

But who's been better? Shearer? Zola? Henry? Bergkamp? All right they've all been great in their own way, but has anyone taken a season by storm in quite the way the Portuguese lad has?

Now, I know the arguments against...

1. He's not been around for very long.
Well, he's been around long enough for teams to have worked out a way of playing him. But unless your squad's got a whippet who's strong in the tackle, you can forget it.

2. He dives.
Well yes, he does. It's embarrassing, too, cos he's a strapping lad and he shouldn't need to. The pitiful, cow-eyed gestures at the refs don't help either (not that there's a professional player worth his salt who won't be falling over every time they set foot in the opposition's area if Rob Styles is the ref).

Even so, put the ball at this lad's feet, watch him go and you can forgive some of the other stuff.

3. He's a poser.
True again. Sometimes the lad seems to have half of Boots in his hair - he looks like a drag artist without the wig on. The ear-rings, the double-shuffles, the chest-out strutting...I dunno.

I'd like to hold it against him too, but frankly if I could run at 200 mph with a ball on a piece of a string I might walk around like I was God almighty 'n' all.

4. That wink.
He got Rooney sent off in the World Cup, people say. Well, hardly. He didn't trample Carvalho's crotch and then push himself over. Yeah, it wasn't his greatest moment but footballers have prayed on the stupidities of other footballers for years. The same people might argue that Materazzi got Zidane sent off 'cos of what he said. Crap.
If Pan's People had taken up footie it would've looked a bit like Ronaldo. Derek 'Robbo' Robson

My point about Cristiano is he has a bit of all the other players mentioned. He terrifies like Henry with his pace, he has the nous of Bergkamp when he needs it - and he's better in the air than either of them.

His goal tally's up there with big Al, and he has invented an entirely new free-kick that defies belief.

He turns the ball into one of them crappy plaggy jobs that you used as a kid when the casey had got a puncture. It swerves and dips and curves and flips. It'd bamboozle Stephen Hawking let alone Jussi Jaaskeleinen.

Then there's the flicks and the wiggles and the shimmies. If Pan's People had taken up footie it would've looked a bit like Ronaldo.

Of course these are the sort of things that English schoolboys have shaken out of them the moment they step out on to the local quagmire.

'Save that for the samba classes, you Jessie! You can have some time with the ball when you've run round the pitch 10 times! And even then I don't want you hanging on to it for too long. Get it oop the pitch!' (Ooh dear, am I betraying Gary Megson's coaching secrets here?)

The result of this Neanderthal approach is a national team that tends to treat the football like a hand grenade with the pin out.

Me, I could watch Ronaldo play every day. The backheel was just further evidence of the lad's genius. (Why is it called a backheel any road? Surely you can't heel it forwards?)

To me, he's taken what's possible on a football pitch to a higher level.

If he can stay vertical and cut out the bleating when someone has the audacity to get the ball off him – and if he can put up with my missus drooling like a Labrador over a T-bone steak - then I can safely say he's had no peers in the English game for the last 15 years.

(Now watch him play like a dog for the rest of the season...!)

Latest 10 comments

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posted Apr 2, 2008

Henry is a damn hypocrite. At least Ronaldo doesn't come out to the media criticising diving and cheating, whilst doing exactly that himself, like Henry has done (see also: Gerrard).

There's one thing being a cheat, but being a cheat and a hypocrite is another.

And it doesn't matter how much they've been guilty of it. Someone who steals £100 from a till is no different from somone who steals £400 from a steal. They're both thieves!

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posted Apr 2, 2008

Err, I'd be careful about accusing players of cheating, I had my comments removed (see my post above) for the suggestion that a certain player may be guilty of cheating (i.e. diving) - well at least I think that's why it was removed - I haven't had an answer yet.

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posted Apr 2, 2008

As I said, Ronaldo's an astute fella, he dodges questions in the fashion of Gordon Brown and the Matrix combined. He knows he is guilty, but intelligently won't be drawn by the media, he'll probably manage 4 words on the issue and then say '...but overall I think it was a good performance by the team and we got three points which is the most important thing'

Look, I'm not saying this has any bearing on how guilty he is, I'm admiring his intelligence. Look what happened when Drogba was confused into admitting to diving, he's learnt from it.

In addition I'll say yes Henry has dived, yes he has criticised diving, but when you consider the length of his career and an average performance, he was not a consistent diver.

I want to know if there are any Man U fans here who agree with me that Ronaldo dives. I'm not trying to aggrovate here, rather gauging opinion. A lot of players do it, perhaps some of Derby's players should have tried it so we wouldn't go down so soon. I do not understand how there can be such polar opinions of the player: man u fans think the sun shines out of his backside, and everyone else seems to depict him as something that's dropped out of one. If you want my opinion of him read above, there's a lot to admire, peopl;e are getting hung up on the fact that I've criticised him.

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posted Apr 4, 2008

Dont know about anyone else but i just love watching him cry if im ever feeling down i just flick over to utube and instand amusment.

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posted Apr 4, 2008

What gets me is the hypocricy of those who accuse Ronaldo of cheating. they all have players who dive and they defend them, torres was 'at it' all the time at Old trafford last week and at the new Library this week, henry was a serial offender, Shearer used his elbows all the time. yet this is ok because their player is not the scape goat for the weakenesses of English football that Ronaldo has become. Worse, its acceptable to kick him (and others) all over the park if thats the only way to stop him. For one particular boro fan who has been putting a lot of barely concealed hatred into recent posts, Boro have been amongst the worst for resorting to kicking Ronaldo in recent years - and getting away with it - and SOME of their supporters (and management too) see nothing wrong with that (after all how else can they compete) yet object loudly and with much spite when they are caught, or Ronaldo makes a meal of the 30th foul after 29 have gone unpunished. its very simple, dont kick him, dont barge him, dont push him, dont try to trip him and he wont make a meal of it. but then again he'll score lots of goals against you and set up others. But at least admit where you are coming from and stop writing your hate filled, bitter and jealous opinions as if they are fact. They aren't and you kow it. TBH, it doesn't make any difference, nor does it matter if hes the best now, the best ever, the best in the premier league or not. He's part of an awesome striking group at old Trafford who provide lots of entertainment and beat Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Roma and more. Enjoy the entertainment.

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posted Apr 4, 2008

Therealstevebennett, not sure if your comments were aimed at me, but assuming they were, here's what I have to say:

Unlike most, I will condemn individuals who represent my team, I will do it in the stands, when my season ticket placed me close to the players they could probably hear me telling them to get up and earn their money.

I agree that Ronaldo's been made a scapegoat, and every time he dives it's considered worse by the press/fans than if another player of lesser fame does so. However, he can only blame himself for his reputation, in the same way that Roy Keane got his for being dirty; or if you want me to pick someone out from my own team, Robbie Savage.

I also think the current climate of irritation with players' poor or dishonourable conduct has increased scrutiny on Ronaldo. Therefore it's the ideal opportunity for him to show his attitude has improved in line with his technical game. I really hope he can do it and shed this reputation, because I'm sick of the rhetoric between fans.

Where I would say that I completely disagree with you is where you condone diving after a series of unpunished fouls. Look at professional cricket players, bar the odd moment of controversy, their respect for the rules of the game and the spirit in which it is played in is impeccable. A lot could be learned by footballers.

For example, if a bowler is having a lot of bad luck with appealing to the umpire, he does not then bowl a head height beamer to illustrate his frustrations. Ok, perhaps you could pick holes with the example, I was not accusing him of being aggressive; the point is, the game's rules should not be sacrificed due to personal frustrations. As the most skillful player on the pitch, he will be singled out for special treatment, any defensive player will want to show that he has won the battle with Christiano, it's not often that he's played out of the game. However, when it happens he has to accept it with good grace and maintain integrity.

However, before I move on, I would also condemn players fouling or 'roughing up' others to put them off their game. There's a fine line between challenging physically and fouling, I would say that sometimes Ronaldo's frustrations at his own performance lead to him getting petulent. I understand why he might, but he has a responsibility as an idol all over the world to rise above it. He's a genius, right? Surely then he can use other means of winning a duel with another player than going to ground as he has done in the past.

You're talking to a critical fan rather than a fanatical critic, so don't accuse me of being WUMish, I am 100% impartial.

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posted Apr 6, 2008

Interesting how Robbo can write an article with a simple theme, and in 380 threads it turns into a debate about who cheats the most.

The game is rife with cheating, gamesmanship and corruption, and players behaviour is a part of it, admittedly the most visible part.

A lot of fuss has been made of Premiership players behaviour recently, but I watched Championship goals on ITV this morning, and the harassment of refs in the lower leagues looks worse than what goes on in the Prem.

As this behaviour goes all the way down to park football, money can not be the problem, it has to be atitudes that are allowed to exist within the game.

As for Robbos original theme, I think he's probably right about Ronaldo. Henry is the obvious comparison, but so must be Zola and Bergamp. The nearest English player to class as a brilliant all round footballer? Becks with a dead ball, Sherringham and Shearer offered more than the goals they scored, but I would have loved for the likes of Frank Worthington and Tony Currie to have been of this generation. The things they did on crap pitches, with heavy balls and unsophisticated boots!!!

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posted Apr 9, 2008

comment by MUFC7224 (U11389317)
posted 6 Days Ago

The "Doctor" as he calls himself seems very bitter to me, its probably watching Boro that has made him like it
_______________________________________

No pal I was there at the Riverside when we outplayed you again on Sunday. Where were you? At home in Devon, MUFC7224, as you call yourself?

Speaking of luck, ManU were very lucky not to concede 5 that day.

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posted Apr 10, 2008

He's part of an awesome striking group at old Trafford who provide lots of entertainment and beat Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea, Roma and more.

TheRealSteveBennett (U11416697)

Not this weekend my friend, not this weekend!!

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posted Apr 10, 2008


Whats with everyone going on and on and on about Henry cheating and diving. I defy these people to point out three clear instances where he's dived during his tiem at the Premiership.You wont find that many. For all his years at the top level he's been a veyr clean player. You can talk about his arrogance etc etc..
If these are just Arsenal hating people , you can go on about Pires, Reyes, Eboue

Ronaldo's a great player.To call him the Premierships greatest ever is plain stupid. He's had one stellar season. Let him do it for the next 4 as the likes of Henry, Shearer, Zola did and then we can talk about it..
Right now we can compare him to Dion Dublin

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