Poor old Becks - that'll teach him to go and show the Brazilians how to play football. Next week he's heading for Greenland to tell the Eskimos how to build the perfect igloo.

You can understand Capello's reasons for not selecting Goldenballs - too few games, too much poncing about - and who's to say the former captain's diploma in bouncebackability won't see him make yet another Lazarus-style return?

If not, you can bet the Beckham marketing machine is already working overtime to get him the 99 shirt at LA Galaxy for next season.

Having bought a ticket for the Switzerland game on the understanding I'd see a little bit of history in the making, I for one am a little bit miffed by Becks's omission. As Kevin Keegan said during his first stint at Newcastle: "It's not like it said in the brochure."

Talking of Keegan, the Magpies boss looked delighted to have Dennis Wise overseeing his every mov....er, reporting to him at St James' Park. Well they certainly look pretty happy in that picture above.

Nearly as happy as the Chelsea players when Maradona dropped in for a surprise visit to the training ground on Tuesday.

According to some reports, the arrival of the Argentine legend had grown men fumbling for autograph books and camera phones, most of them trained on Petr Cech after the goalkeeper was forced to walk to the dressing room in his undies after losing the crossbar challenge.

In the FA Cup, Liverpool almost met their Waterlooville as the gallant Havant boys twice put them to the sword at Anfield, before embarking on the mother of all benders that saw cup-tied player Charlie Henry indulge in some "strictly drunk dancing", according to coach Charlie Oatway.

On the field, Havant may have eventually succumbed 5-2, but Alfie Potter had a right result when he won the battle for Stevie G's shirt.

Team-mate Jamie Collins was in the running until he blotted his copybook by singing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' to Gerrard by the corner flag, causing the England midfielder to "look at me like I was a weirdo!"

But even Havant found themselves upstaged in the news as inflation became the hot topic of the weekend.

Yes, it's those pesky balloons that helped Sheffield United into round five after causing havoc in the Man City goalmouth - prompting an extraordinary outburst from Sven-Goran Eriksson.

The normally ice-cool Swede, clearly deflated by the whole experience, revealed: "We asked the referee to kill them." Surely a stern ticking off would have done the trick?

Over in golf, Ian Poulter gave a fine example of how to lose friends and alienate people by declaring in a magazine interview that he was the only serious rival to Tiger Woods.

Poulter said: "I just don't rate anyone else... I know I haven't played to my full potential. And when that happens it will just be me and Tiger." Yeah - and Rafa Benitez will spend this weekend out clubbing with Tom Hicks and George Gillet.

And finally, there was a record number of deals on transfer deadline day, which begs the question - why does everyone leave it to the last minute?

A colleague of mine suggested it was a bloke thing, with managers treating it like their wives' Christmas present.

They've been meaning to get it all month, then all of a sudden it's Christmas Eve so they buy the most expensive thing they can see in the window and hope she likes it.

Have a good weekend, one and all.

OTHER STUFF
Cruzeiro keeper Fabio lets in two quick goals after not realising play has started with a different ball:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JByR...
Dirty dancing from Sheffield Wednesday mascots:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnIX...
'Mourinho on Big Brother'
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxuN...
Kevin Keegan signs the Honey Monster
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhJt...