122 comments
We've Heard this Toon BeforeNewcastle United by Robbo Robson (U5722413) 11 January 2008   Well, you couldn't say it wasn't coming but nothing that happens at Newcastle will surprise any of us anymore. A Phoenix-like return from KK? The fans'd just love it LOVE IT!Derek 'Robbo' Robson Still it feeds the tabloid hacks, if no one else - and here's my guess as to who the likeliest candidates might be. Harry Redknapp: Has already proved that he has what it takes to manage a club like Newcastle. He's won nowt and his team can't score at home. Bournemouth to North Shields, though... Too cold for the man, unless he takes full advantage of Mr Ashley's private jet. Alan Shearer: Prefers the home comforts of the Match of the Day studio - and who can blame him? Jose Mourinho: Unless the Special One has started smoking the Special Cigarettes, never in a million years. Mark Hughes: Again he's won nowt but his teams can play when they forget about clogging and he'd have the overpaid nitwits working for each other. Terry Venables: England No. 1, then England No. 2, then Newcastle gaffer. It's not looking good as a career path, Tel. Maybe wait a couple of years for St James's and give yourself a more prestigious job in the meantime - Port Vale could do with someone new. Amy Winehouse: Unstable, unpredictable, liable to fall apart any moment, doesn't know owt about football, should suit Newcastle United down to the ground. Steve McClaren: Free, relatively local, and whatever happens he'll keep smiling. Fabio Capello: No chance. He's just delighted to find out that when people told him he had the toughest job in football they were lying. J K Rowling: Writes fantasy books about boys with magical powers, maybe she could inject some creativity into the midfield pairing of Butt and Smith. Kevin Keegan: A Phoenix-like return from KK? The fans'd just love it LOVE IT! if that happened. And at least he'd walk before you sacked him. Paul Gascoigne: All right, his first attempt at management didn't work out so well but this is a challenge that could just suit him down to the ground - and don't forget this is a club that only recently entrusted the job to Glenn Roeder. Ant 'n' Dec: Local lads made good. I can't see them getting their hands dirty. It's more likely to turn into some deathly reality show called summat like 'I'm a Non-Entity - Get Me Out Of Here' (first contestant to be voted out - Rozendal). Robson Greene: That Wire in the Blood series is pretty nasty stuff but nothing compared with the carnage of the 4-1 trouncing against Pompey. Might have the stomach for it. Tony Blair: Famously used to watch Jackie Milburn on the terraces before he was born. A true Toon Army soldier, he could raise a bit of finance by (a) getting his banking buddies involved, or (b) spending a bit of his own dosh. The Toon Army themselves: Ebbsfleet Mark II. Since Ashley spends most of his time in amongst the fans in his barely credible one-of-the-lads charade, why doesn't he just let them have a proper say? Could it be any worse? If all else fails, I'll have a bash. Obviously they're near-neighbours and deadly rivals so I'll do me best to bring the club to its knees as soon as possible. Though whether I'll do a better job at that than Ashley or Shepherd is very hard to imagine. Seriously though, my money's on Mark Hughes being the next mug. I give him a fortnight. Latest 10 commentsRead members' comments or add your own
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amadkiwi0 (U7854392) posted Jan 12, 2008 Its quite refreshing to see so many Chelsea fans commenting about loyalty, coz there were sooooo many before Roman Abramovich took over.
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kasbah (U3254321) posted Jan 12, 2008 Newcastle do not stick with a manager long enough to actually make anything work - look at fergie, was manager of Man Utd for 5 years before he won anything, now look at them. Granted allardyce was not the choice of the new chairman, but i hope for newcastles case that he sticks with the next man for a few years and lets him build something.
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kasbah (U3254321) posted Jan 12, 2008 "would you want your money in the hands of someone you didnt want thiere, or would you want your own man in charge?
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bertique (U10687560) posted Jan 12, 2008 @kasbah, err i think newcastle will beat leicester trophies collection IF they play in the same league.
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bertique (U10687560) posted Jan 12, 2008 opps, my bad.
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dimitarberbagod (U10805096) posted Jan 13, 2008 I think Amy Winehouse is a good idea. She could also sing at the next newcastle Xmas do, so they would save a few quid on the entertainment as well.
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jetlagged (U3193181) posted Jan 13, 2008 I'm not a Newcastle supporter but I can see they are a certainly big club in the true sense of the word. It's not just about winning trophies, ask Forest or Villa fans. Newcastle are in the top twenty clubs in Europe for annual revenue. That makes them very BIG.
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DoctorBoroLove (U8303026) posted Jan 13, 2008 Why should sports journalists be neutral? They're not writing the Times editorial but offering their OPINIONS, so by definition they are subjective not neutral.
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Fuzz1981 (U10204441) posted Jan 14, 2008 Personally, I'd like to see Keegan back in action... posted Jan 16, 2008 Kev ? Bev? bev ? kev ? Comment on this article
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