So Fabio it is. It's a bit of a blow personally cos I thought I had a real chance once His Specialness turned it down. He's not an idiot, is he, that fella?
Them that desperately wanted an English manager are going to be disappointed. With those European specs he couldn't be more continental.
I've been to Specsavers meself but them fancy dan goggles always make me look like a German businessman who's trying too hard.
You can't argue with the appointment. Everything that's being said about him fills with me with a sense of security.
He's a brute in training? Good. Some of our lads need it straight between the eyes. McClaren was so blinking pally-pally it was embarrassing. Sometimes when he spoke dreamily of Stevie G or JT you got the impression he couldn't believe his luck either.
Del Piero thought he was a tyrant. Yeah and there's a lad who looks like he likes a sun-lounger and a singapore sling.
He lacks a human side? Fine by me. Probably means he won't need a brolly.
His track record is brilliant. We have cast-iron proof that the bloke KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING! Not such god news for the England boys. Cos this time we're not going to be looking a the manager if things go T.U.
He can hardly speak a word of English. Good. He'll fit in perfectly with the rest of the squad. I never have a clue what Rio Ferdinand's on about either.
He'll play effective, unexciting football. Fantastic. I dunno about you but England 2 Croatia 3 is about as exciting as I can stand.
He wants the job. Yeah, I know, what kind of fool is he? It's about as beautiful a challenge as the one Stephen Ireland commited last weekend (After Nicky Hunt's effort the previous week I'm beginning to wonder if Irish internationals need a lesson in the perfect slidey - or have they been busy reading the Keano autobiography?)
Clarence Seedorf said: "He would rather have less quality but committed players rather than quality players who are not committed." Well that just fits the bill perfectly.
Me, I'm happy. The bloke's about the best available. If Wenger and Fergie think so, then who are we to argue?
The only problem is that the FA have run scared on the contract. We need the same bloke for four years. We need some long-term thought.
My sense is that with some new blood in the team, the English fans would give this bloke a bit of time to bed in. I'm not expecting 2010 miracles, but by 2012 lads like Young, Agbonlahor, Lennon Ashton and co might be ready to launch a bid
for glory if we stick with 'em!
As for the patriotic brigade who'd like the FA to dig up another underqualified, over-excited British national to do the job - well, to be blunt, NO! It'd just be bleeding stubborn to give £4m a year to some trophyless optimist when Capello's already put his hand up. Redknapp's the best bet and he's won nowt.
Then there's the 'why so soon?' brigade. Ok, we've got a brilliant candidate but let's keep him dangling for a while so the press can spend time sitting outside his house and taking pictures of his pets shall we? Nah.
It may be a tad hasty but the bloke will have a good three months to watch all that is good about the English professional footballer, realise what a bloody massive job he has to do, and hit the ground running for the Swiss friendly.
It's a new start. There'll be no hiding place. If the cream can't rise to the occasion, then Fabio will go for a semi-skimmed alternative (which is better for you any road, so they tell me).
Gerrard will have to wear the three lions like it's a Liver Bird. Rooney will have to wind his angry neck in and knuckle down to business. Or they'll be out.
I've managed to get meself over-excited about the prospect, dammit. And of course Fabio still needs an English number two with potential...
I've been working on me Italian.... so here's a few key phrases.
Corpulento Frank e Stevie G non giocare accordo.
Giammai optare Robinson o Pippo Neville.
Michael Owen e ferito.
Do I get the job, Fabio?