BBC - 606 - - A24360743 - Strawberries and screams

143 comments

Strawberries and screams

by Robbo Robson (U5722413) 02 July 2007

I dunno about you lot but I spent Sunday standing OUTSIDE a pub trying desperately to keep me B&H ciggie dry. I tell you it's inhuman.

If you want to improve the atmosphere in the boozer then pull the plug on the fruit machines, wipe every trace of that hippity-hoppity music off the jukebox and keep the children off the Bacardi Breezers.

Sunday was a rest from Wimbledon too and more pointedly from one of the most annoying sounds of summer. No, not the Big Brother voiceover pillock who talks like a Geordie but isn't.

What's that sound? Is there a fox in the hen coop? Has a seagull got caught in a combine harvester? No it's leggy Russian Maria Scream-It-Over! Arrrgggggghhhhhh!

It's just impossible to watch the woman without the sound down, not least because her incessant groans have been misinterpreted by me neighbour.

"What were you watching while the missus was out?" he said to me on Saturday, winking away like a pervy nutcase. "I heard it!" he added, with a nudge.

Of course Connors and McEnroe were grunters. Jimmy made a sound like a chimp on heat but Mac's was more like the satisfied moan of a bloke who had just let one go.

Bit graphic that but you know what I mean. These lasses, starting with the startled gerbil squeak that used to come out of Seles's gob, are all at it now.

The Williams sisters use it for emphasis - the easier the smash for Serena, the more windows in SW19 get shattered.

But Sharapova has really taken the whole thing to another level now. It brings a new meaning to the phrase 'tennis racket'.

If she ever has a babby that lass, there is going to be a midwife crisis after the sixth one runs out of the labour ward clutching her bleeding eardrums.

It's got to put your opponent off - perhaps even more than spending 10 minutes having a slash and getting your hair nice for the fifth set - Feliciano Lopez, you're a big jessie!

But these screaming ab-dabs have got to stop.

I reckon if you can challenge a decision based on Hawk-eye, you should be able to challenge noise based on the aural equivalent - Hawk-ear, if you will.

Go up above a certain number of decibels and you lose the point. Job done. Course the folk at Wimbers'd never agree to 'owt like that.

They're such sound decision-makers, hence giving the players a day off on a perfect sunny afternoon yesterday. Dopes.

It's ironic that the Russian beauty is wearing a swan outfit. Your regular English swan, I'm told, is called the mute swan. D'you hear that, Maria, pet? Mute. Not a sound.

I hope that very good little Henin wins the Ladies' Champs. Silent but deadly. Take note Maria.

comment on this article | send to a friend

Latest 10 comments

view all 143 comments

Read members' comments or add your own

comment by Newbers480 (U8905402)

posted Jul 5, 2007

I'm sorry, how does grunting show passion? So because Henin doesn't grunt it means she doesn't show any passion. If Sahrapova wanted to stop grunting she could do, its basically a habit and not a particularly good one at that.

Wouldn't take much effort to stop it!

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by chris0013 (U8851827)

posted Jul 5, 2007

Venus Williams plays with no scream until she wants to put someone off. Two rounds ago against Morigami she suddenly started screaming after she had hit the ball during the last set. I was surprised there was no complaint as she was very near to being out until she started acting up.

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by ProfYaffle (U8906442)

posted Jul 5, 2007

Navratilova was commenting on a Sharapova match the other day; apparently none of the worst offenders scream during practise and apart from intimidation it's designed to obscure the noise the ball makes on the racket and thus disguise the shot. It gets worse every year and is ruining women's tennis as a spectator sport

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by sl8r (U1805433)

posted Jul 5, 2007

it shows passion? its a release?

swearing is a release but it doesnt make it acceptable on a football pitch

takin a p1ss is a release but if they did that on centre court theyd get kicked out

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by toomanyqsbutnoanswers (U7989024)

posted Jul 5, 2007

Whats amazing is a decade or so ago, Seles was severely criticised for her grunting by her opponent. She was insisting that Seles' noises put her off....

Now its as acceptable as anything. Altho slightly distracting if you cant see the TV btu can hear the noise, i dont think its something that someones decides to do. I would like to think its a natural groan rather than put on...

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by imrankhan193 (U6846791)

posted Jul 5, 2007

It is a bit annoying, but since she's such a babe, i'll have to excuse her!!!

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by robinsonky (U1699761)

posted Jul 5, 2007

It's not passion, she's compressing her diaphragm (she one she was born with) to use her whole body in the serve. The distraction is also deliberate. Bollieteri Academy teach it to all the kids, it's Nick's trade-mark.

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by U2037234

posted Jul 6, 2007

i don't see how it's neccesary to go off like that. it's definately deliberate, designed to put off one's opponent and shouldn't be tolerated!

having said that, sharapova IS a babe!!!

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by hazza1289 (U8914963)

posted Jul 6, 2007

bml, i am trainee for lcfc and i heard no end of players making grunting noises not once is it off putting to me

idiots
and she is well fit

add comment | complain about this comment

comment by MagpieRH (U3180795)

posted Jul 8, 2007

Hazza:
bml, i am trainee for lcfc and i heard no end of players making grunting noises not once is it off putting to me

idiots
and she is well fit

---------------------------

That'd be the tennis club where tennis is spelt with an F eh? Or do you play football? Or is it that you don't play tennis at all and you just wanted to make a point?!
And I'm certain the noise would put you off if it's closing on the noise of a Concorde at the other end... (90dB from Venus vs I believe 110dB from a Concorde)
A litte grunt or shriek might annoy you if it comes from nowhere, but constant shouting at the levels the "top" women manage these days it can't be anything but off-putting.

The next thing'll be developing the grunt into a shout which resembles a line-judge's "out" call. Then maybe someone official will step in and say enough.

My 606

Browse 606...

More...

Strawberries and screams

Latest 10 comments

Comment on this article

RATE THIS ARTICLE

Rate Breakdown

MY RELATED LINKS