Three Premiership managers clear their desks, Big Sam drops into Newcastle, and still Jose Mourinho manages to hog the headlines - with a little help from a dog called Gullit.

The Chelsea coach was arrested when police turned up to see if his Yorkshire Terrier had been smuggled into the country, avoiding strict quarantine laws.

Shocking news I'm sure you'll agree... the Special One owns a Yorkshire Terrier?

Mourinho was probably waiting for the senior officer to remove his beard Jeremy Beadle-style to reveal a grinning Graham Poll underneath.

When that didn’t happen, he allegedly hid the hairy rat in the garden, from where it duly escaped - leaving police and council dog wardens to scour the streets of Westminster.

I don’t know, where's Dan Pet-Rescue when you need him?

Hardly ideal preparation for Jose's FA Cup final bid, but great for the newspapers, with headlines like 'The War on Terrier' screaming out from the tabloids. The Sun gave some suggestions as to where the dog might turn up next, including a laundry basket, Michael Essien's hair and in the West Ham team as an unregistered player.

The bookies adopt a similar theme, with Coral offering special Wembley bets like "Dog-tired" (Man Utd to win in extra-time) and "Hot Drog" (Drogba to score first).

But Paddy Power top the bill for the wackiest wagers. It's 8/1 John Terry is the first player to put the FA Cup lid on his head, 6/4 the roof leaks, 100/1 the Cup goes missing and 500/1 that the stewards turn up at Cardiff by mistake.

Then there's the 'what commentary cliché will be mentioned first' section. "Worth the wait", "Wonderful stadium" and "Hansen will have something to say about that" are where the smart money's going.

But for those sort of people who like to bet on which colour car will be next around the corner (are you watching, JT?) - how about these little rank outsiders - "Is it me or is the arch wobbling?" and "There's Jose's missing dog!"

One Manchester United fan who won’t relish going back to his home in Surrey if his side lose is John Logan, who has just been refused permission to change the name of his 300-year-old listed building from... 'Chelsea'. Here's a radical suggestion for you, John, move to Manchester and support your local team.

Away from the Cup final, movie legend Sofia Loren has promised to take her clothes off if her beloved Napoli are promoted to Serie A this season.

"You watch, if we go up I will do a striptease," the 72-year-old said. It can’t be denied that Loren is looking great for her age but nevertheless she is still 72 and that, plainly, is wrong.

And finally, to the top videos of the week. Five Live's Nicky Campbell gets his kit off in the park www.youtube.com/watch?v=WL0h... - Ronaldinho's crossbar challenge is parodied by a giant fluffy monster www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bxU... and a goalkeeper holds up proceedings in an Argentine second division match when nature takes its course. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnvc...

Well if you've gotta go, you've gotta go, as Gullit might have said when he made his break for freedom.