I don’t know, you wait 10 years to get shot of a plastic Geordie and then two go in the space of a week.

Constituents in Sedgefield were left wailing into their Newcastle Brown Ale as their leader finally called it a day. Yep, Glenn Roeder's going to be a tough act to follow all right.

While Glenn licked his wounds and and Big Tone licked his lips at the prospect of the American after-dinner circuit, Magpies chairman Freddy Shepherd was putting his foot in it at the traffic lights.

The genial Geordie forgot to engage his brain before putting his mouth in gear when he was grilled about Michael Owen by a group of Liverpool fans who pulled alongside him.

Thing is, Freddy's never going to see 60 again and while he might have sussed that the mobile phone being pointed at him was taking his picture he's probably not down enough with the kids to know these things can video you as well.

If you want to see the clip - and are not afraid of swearing, a well-known website may be able to help you. If not, we can reveal the conversation went a little something like this:

Liverpool fans: "Freddy, can we have Michael back?"
Freddy: "You what?"
Fans: "Can we have Michael Owen back?"
Freddy: "Flipping Michael..."
Fans: "£9 million! £9 million!"
Freddy: "Listen, I'll ******* carry him back for youse!"
Fans: "Really? For £9 million yeah?"
Freddy: "£9 million."
Fans: "Can he leave for £9 million?"
Freddy: "No. He's a good lad. He's OK, he's a decent lad. What are you doing up here?"
Fans: "We've just come to see what was going on."
Freddy: "Yaaaaahhhh!"

Whether Owen starts the new season at James's Park is anyone's guess, but there should be a new sheriff in Toon next week and he won't be standing for any nonsense.

Sam "I want to spend some time with my family" Allardyce is the red-hot favourite but before he gets his feet under the table, he might want to practise standing on them first - following revelations from former charge Kevin Nolan that he was dumped on his ample backside - twice - during training at Bolton this season.
news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/foo...

Manchester United picked up the Premiership trophy, as well as the joint award for the most tedious game of the season with Chelsea.

For Ryan Giggs, it meant a record ninth championship medal, beating messrs Hansen and Neal. But a far more interesting fact to come out about the Welshman was that he's the only Premiership footballer to be mentioned in The Simpsons.

The episode in question sees Homer punch three people's lights out on the street before declaring: "That was over soccer results. Can you believe they gave Giggs a yellow card in the box?!"

Finally, a survey this week revealed that on average fans of Premiership clubs think about football every 12 minutes.

Sheffield United came top of the pile - presumably daydreaming about what it must be like to support a team at the right end of the table.

As a QPR fan, I refuse to (Aaah, Trevor Sinclair's spectacular bicycle kick in the FA Cup) get drawn into this. You won't catch my mind (Oooh, that Dennis Bailey hat-trick at Old Trafford) wandering when I'm supposed to be writing the (Gregory's blue and white army) Review of the Week.

P.S. If you want to see what people are describing as the new best goal ever, stick Andres Vasquez into You Tube.