Enough recriminations. We all know where it all went wrong and I can't be bothered to go back over old ground again. I'm an optimist at heart so I'd rather look ahead to the next series and have come up with a few ideas as to how we can get our own back next time:
1 Given England's preparation for the 1st test, the ECB can arrange the Aussies schedule of warm ups. This will consist of a series of 20-20 games against MCC (over 50s), Ilford 2nd XI, Cheltenham Ladies College and Derbyshire.
2 Reschedule the 1st test to start on April 3rd at Chester-le-Street and follow it with a back to back game at Cardiff which should be abandoned without a ball being bowled given the Welsh weather
3 Early season damp outfields should hinder Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath as their zimmer frames will regularly get clogged in the mud
4 Persuade Geraint Jones to become Australian again and give him extensive plastic surgery to make him closely resemble Adam Gilchrist before switching them at the last minute.
5 Tell cricket Australia that Duncan Fletcher is the man to be their new head coach along with his assistants Sven Goran Erikson and Andy Robinson
6 England can solve their number 8 dilemma by picking Zara Philips, by now acknowledged as England's greatest living sports person following her 3rd consecutive win in Sports Personality of the Year
7 Given the success of Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash in Strictly Come Dancing, England can bolster their middle order with pro-dancers Anton Du Beke and Camilla Dallerup
8 Get the other Cheeky Girl to seduce Ricky Ponting leaving him too exhausted to make any runs
Frankly, I'm glad it's all over and I can get some decent sleep again. Happy Christmas everyone.