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How to win the Ashes in 2009

Test cricket England
by dwad777 (U6087541) 18 December 2006
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Enough recriminations. We all know where it all went wrong and I can't be bothered to go back over old ground again. I'm an optimist at heart so I'd rather look ahead to the next series and have come up with a few ideas as to how we can get our own back next time:

1 Given England's preparation for the 1st test, the ECB can arrange the Aussies schedule of warm ups. This will consist of a series of 20-20 games against MCC (over 50s), Ilford 2nd XI, Cheltenham Ladies College and Derbyshire.

2 Reschedule the 1st test to start on April 3rd at Chester-le-Street and follow it with a back to back game at Cardiff which should be abandoned without a ball being bowled given the Welsh weather

3 Early season damp outfields should hinder Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath as their zimmer frames will regularly get clogged in the mud

4 Persuade Geraint Jones to become Australian again and give him extensive plastic surgery to make him closely resemble Adam Gilchrist before switching them at the last minute.

5 Tell cricket Australia that Duncan Fletcher is the man to be their new head coach along with his assistants Sven Goran Erikson and Andy Robinson

6 England can solve their number 8 dilemma by picking Zara Philips, by now acknowledged as England's greatest living sports person following her 3rd consecutive win in Sports Personality of the Year

7 Given the success of Darren Gough and Mark Ramprakash in Strictly Come Dancing, England can bolster their middle order with pro-dancers Anton Du Beke and Camilla Dallerup

8 Get the other Cheeky Girl to seduce Ricky Ponting leaving him too exhausted to make any runs

Frankly, I'm glad it's all over and I can get some decent sleep again. Happy Christmas everyone.

Latest 10 comments

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posted Dec 18, 2006

So respect to the Aussies as the greatest sports team ever. I am English and an England supporter but I have enjoyed this series because most of all I enjoy cricket and everything I love about it is exemplified by this Aussie team. I might be more bitter if it was a close run thing but frankly this pathetic excuse for an England team needed a kick up the back side (though no doubt they will be congratulating themselves on the "positives" that they can take from this defeat!).

So my message to England is this:

don't ever let me hear you say again that you lost a match simply because the opposition wanted to win it more. If that's all you can say then stop wasting every one's time.

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posted Dec 18, 2006

I'm an Australian living in England who endured the 'experts' comments about how Australia's run was over.For all those armchair english sportsmen (why can 20m people who love playing sport so conviningly defeat 60m people who love watching it), I look forward to the next series.

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posted Dec 18, 2006

England were absolute rubbish. They didnt bat well and gave away stupid wickets. Complete disapoinment but they deserved to lose. Thought we might stand a chance when Collingwood played great in the 2nd test but obviously thought wrong. Its stupid making us play the next two tests because we will just get embarassed even more.

Utter Rubbishsadface

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posted Dec 18, 2006

For God's sake!
Get off their backs!
A beautiful bunch of boys.. doing their best for cricket and their country with dignity and good grace.
There can only be one winner.. it wasn't them this time, is all..
Why do you do ticket parades when they win and bag them when they don't?
Support your team..win or lose..
Enjoy the cricket..pat both teams on the back.

I'm an Australian who's enjoying the cricket..
And did last Ashes too..


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posted Dec 19, 2006

IMHO-You really do need to go and take a reality check. Check the attendances,the number of tourists,sponsorship deals,advertising, column inches,media minutes given over to covering The Ashes and then compare that against the Indians Tour. You are insane if you believe there is anything bigger than the Ashes in cricket.

Also how many Aussies go to India to play Club,State, or Provincial cricket or earn their living in India versus the UK?

Your arrogance is mind boggling and without any commercial savvy whatsoever. Its about money mate... Poms big news, Indians -Not such big news.

Also everything is cyclical and whilst the Aussies are the better team now, the new generation of Aussie Test players have a long way to go to replace Warne, who will go down as the greatest spinner of all time, if not the greatest bowler ever, Macgrath is also a champion, Langers near the end, and so is Hayden.Gilchrist also near the end. These are champions and its been great for Aus, to have them, now you have got to replace them. Granted there is talent, but we are talking about Champions.

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posted Dec 19, 2006

You Pommies, are so hard on your selves.
Your at treiffic side and done well else were.Including the last ashes
The Aussies this year are, how can I put it? Just too good!

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comment by Ta5 (U5739538)

posted Dec 20, 2006

I'm an Australian living in England who endured the 'experts' comments about how Australia's run was over.For all those armchair english sportsmen (why can 20m people who love playing sport so conviningly defeat 60m people who love watching it), I look forward to the next series.

*********


one problem.

Cricket is not a sport. it is a game like poker, darts or chess.

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posted Dec 20, 2006

Jennifer what dignity? and beautiful boys? girl this is Cricket the Ashes not a groupie column, your team were pathetic to say the least, they gave up way before they got going, we all love to see a great game and sorry but the Australians are far superior, I was in London during the Ashes 2005 and my mates gave me so much stick after we lost them for the first time in 16 years, now its pay back time, I wonder why they are not answering the SMS or emails and some wont answer the phone?

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posted Dec 20, 2006

one problem.

Cricket is not a sport. it is a game like poker, darts or chess.
Ta5-the new KANU
Is that why your in this forum reading about the great game of Cricket?

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comment by Ta5 (U5739538)

posted Dec 20, 2006

one problem.

Cricket is not a sport. it is a game like poker, darts or chess.
Ta5-the new KANU
Is that why your in this forum reading about the great game of Cricket?

******

i am lost looking for the football chat. 606 used to be full of it you know? but now all i see is "articles" on cycling and the like.

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