Forgive me if I write a totally incoherent piece of ranting (for a change) but that England performance was shocking!
Where do we start? Well I'm not saying I know my musicals, but let's start at the very beginning, it's a very good place to start.
Paul Robinson. At the World Cup he commanded the penalty box with all the confidence of a fat antelope in a lion's cage. He was jumpy as hell and a liability.
In the first half in Zagreb, he kept us in it. He went missing for the first goal but then so did the other nine defenders, intent on ignoring the Brazilian Eduardo.
(Incidentally, are we now officially the only international side who haven't got an ex-pat Brazilian playing for them?).
Of course, the poor lad will be best remembered for allowing Gary Neville to finally get his name on the scoresheet. Neville can't score from two yards with the keeper missing but he can find a molehill in his own penalty area from 20.
And if that's how partisan the moles are in Zagreb, it's no wonder the Croats haven't been beaten there for 2,000 years.
Personally, I feel a bit sorry for Robinson - I don't think he could've done much about it, but he'll have to put up with seeing re-runs of that incident for years to come.
The most worrying aspect of Wednesday night was the team McClaren put out. It said 3-5-2 on the tin but, let's face it, it was 5-3-2 at best and at worst 8-1-1.
Bilic must have looked at the team-sheet and started putting the bunting up in the home dressing-room before the match started.
The wing-backs were two full-backs. About as threatening a weapon as a fuzzy-felt knife.
There were two holding players in midfield, and they were so bloody timid the only thing they were holding was each other's hands.
Up front our cutting edge was supplied by those daring out-and-out strikers Rooney and Crouch. They simply don't work together. One of them has to keep Lampard company on the bench.
Given that Rooney is probably our best player (and on a night of utter mediocrity, probably was in Croatia), perhaps Crouchy can come towering on late in the game, which was always his best position to my mind.
Get a fit Johnson or Bent up front with Rooney and the Shrek-like one will at least have someone to aim for.
But if we fans know this, why doesn't the manager?
McClaren continues the Sven policy of asking players to do jobs they're not very good at.
The England team probably get their meals cooked by the coach driver. It's no wonder Scholes won't re-join the squad. He doesn't fancy a stint at left-back right now.
We've got five months 'til Israel away and someone's got to do summat.
We'll have Hargreaves, Joe Cole, Lennon and Gerrard back by then so we can ditch the likes of Carrick and Lampard for the foreseeable.
We'll be back to 4-4-2, no doubt, because when we play a different system we pick the wrong players. Rooney will be back to his best...oh s***, somebody stop me before I start getting stupidly optimistic again.