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March 2003
Forest: the big joke?
Take a joke! Gareth Taylor
Some of the best gags in the game? Well nearly.

Enjoy our selection of jokes - at Forest's expense, of course.

It's the way we tell 'em!
A chance to laugh at our East Midlands rivals...

Blue arrowAlso: Predict the score

A supporter hands over a £50 note to the turnstyle operator at the City Ground. He says: "Two please."
The turnstyle operator replies: "Will that be defenders or strikers, sir?"
Q: How can you tell when Forest are losing?
A: It's five past three.
A burglary was recently committed at the City Ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a red carpet.
Q: Why do Forest fans plant potatoes round the edge of the pitch at the City Ground?
A: So they have SOMETHING to lift at the end of the season!
Rumour has it that Joe Kinnear offered to send the Forest squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
The fire brigade phones Nigel Doughty in the early hours of a morning...
"Mr Doughty, Mr Doughty, the City Ground is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies the chairman.
"Oh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
A railway company has decided to start sponsoring Forest. The company thinks they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
Joe Kinnear was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today. When questionned he said: " I'll do anything for 3 points."
Q: What do you call a Forest fan on the moon?
A: A Problem.

Q: What do you call 100 Forest fans on the moon?
A: An even bigger problem.

Q: What do you call all the Forest fans on the moon?
A: Problem solved
Q: Why do Forest fans carry lighters round with them?
A: Because they lose all their matches!
What have Forest and a three pin plug got in common?
They'd both be useless in Europe.
Q. What's the difference between reds keeper Darren Ward and a taxi driver?
A. A taxi driver will only let in four at a time.
Now tell us YOUR favourite Forest joke
(But please, keep it clean and inoffensive!)

why can't forest fans think of their own jokes? because they have the intellectual span of a pin tip!
Hannah derby

Arnold the Forest fan is walking his dog one day, when he sees an old lamp. He bends down to pick it up, and starts to rub it to clean it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I am the economy-price genie?" I grant but one wish". Arnold thinks for a while, and then says, "Make my dog Megson, win Crufts." The genie looks at Megson and says, "Don't be stupid, look at the thing. It's mangy, it's got fleas, it's got a bit missing from one ear it limps and it smells. I might be a genie, but I'm not a miracle worker." "All right then," says Arnold, "Make Forest win a match." The genie stops for a moment, then says, "Let's have another look at that dog again.
Tony Alfreton Derbyshire

a derby fan returns from pride park after yet another defeat. "ow im fed up of derby loosing!" he then returns back and nails his season ticket to the turnstile and walks back. as he walks he start to think. "mabye im being to harsh on derby.they might start winning and get back to the premiership" He returns to the turnstile to find that some1 has nicked his nail! -- FOREST 4 EVA
Jono, notts

i ad a gr8 laugh at all da ones dissin forest bt den u come 2 one bout derby well steve in stapleford u cud say da same for forest bt dey'd av2 give u money 2 even wamt 2 go through da embarassment nd shame of avin 2 own forest nw ur in division two gud luck in tryin 2 make ur way bk up! cum'on u rams automatic promotion here we come

how many european cups or any other cups ave derby ever won...........none
ash gedling,nottingham

I'm not being biased but these jokes are quite poor, the derby jokes actually make sense. Thanx, Andy
Andy, Nottingham

ave you eard boutr the t-shirt we are sellin wiv da coffe cup on it! and you can vote for the slogan that you want on it!!! how funny 4-2 4-2 4-2 will never get bord
louise derby

I hear that plastic cups are being banned from the city ground!
Andy, derby

What does f****t goally barry roche and taxis have in common, they let four in at one time
Johnny Burton

Q:whats the difference between forest and a teabag A:a teabag stays in the cup

steve stapleford

What do u call three Forest fans at the bottom of the trent? --- A good start :D:D --- C'MON U RAMS!!!
Paddy, Derby

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Forest are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

What does FOREST actually mean? Fear of relegation every saturday teatime!

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