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November 2003
Talking cock
Scary sight!
Scary sight!

Richard Herring - Talking Cock.
Stanwix Arts Theatre, Sunday 23 November 2003.

Reviewed by Mark Robertson


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Richard's Talking Cock website & his 'normal' website.

Stanwix Arts Theatre
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During the course of his research Richard has found many names for the penis...
knob, dick, schmuck, rod, tool, percy, John Thomas, the bald headed mouse, the yoghurt-spitting sausage, Kojak's Moneybox, the salty salami, the sergeant with one blue stripe who loves to stand to attention, Captain Winky, the pink lighthouse that wants to draw you onto its rocks, the sentimental teaser, the arrow of desire, the crimson butterfly, the flute of love and, of course, Russell the fur-faced chicken.

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Well... I'd like to say that Richard Herring's Talking Cock left a bad taste in my mouth, but I can't really.

Richard's show was, funny, thoughtful and even poignant at times... and full of knob jokes too! But what do you expect from a show called Talking Cock?

For those easily offended it would be a show best avoided, but for everyone else it's great.

From the moment Richard arrives on stage wearing an overly-large, black cod-piece atop his trousers, he takes control and leads the audience through the history and fallacies of the penis and its owners and users.

It is unlikely that you will see another show where, an ancient Sumerian god, Sigmund Freud and lesbian nuns will be used to get a laugh and make you think about the penis at the same time!

All through the show Richard is tossing statistics at you from his online questionnaire... Did you know, that according to his survey, 18% of men believe themselves to have a small one? Or that 41% of his respondents said they would like to be in a porno film?!

Throughout the show there was a smattering of local references - such as how the Keswick Pencil Museum could take on a whole new character with the changing of a few letters. Or that he was not at all like the Australians that performed at the theatre last month, with their ‘Puppetry Of The Penis’ show!

Maybe the only downside of the show was the attempt at audience participation. With barely fifty people at the show, trying to get the men to shout out "I love my cock" didn't get much of a response - more a soft and embarrassed rumble – but the women weren’t much better when asked to shout out “We love cocks”!

That aside it was a very good show that soon fills its allotted time, and judging from the cackles, giggles and guffaws from the audience, appeals to both men and women. It certainly appealed to me.

Mark Robertson, 24 November 2003

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