 |  | Report by Faye, web producer
Armed with copies of the What Not To Wear book, videos of the BBC programme and a few large glasses of wine, we decided to test the know-how of style gurus Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine.
We gathered together a huge pile of clothes, ranging from the Oxfam-bound to the cat-walk gorgeous, and started work.
Gallery of fame and shame
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Click on the images button below to admire some of our fashion disasters and clothing successes, to see what you might learn about your body shape needs. Or just to laugh at our catwalk inexperience!
Even the briefest glance at a What Not To Wear programme reveals Trinny and Susannah's obsession with tits. With minimal chest grabbing, we tested out a couple of their golden rules.
Big boobs
| |  | Two of the big-boob sins
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One of our brave testers sported a huge, horizontally striped jumper - the worst of unflattering fashion. The loose-fitting offender was also heavy-knit, breaking a whole string of Trinny and Susannah no-nos.
Fortunately, before booking the breast-reduction op, we used the What Not To Wear book to find the perfect top. It had a v-neck to point to a fine cleavage, it was slightly loose around the bust so they didn't look bullied into place and it hugged the waist to exaggerate her curves. A result.
Another well-endowed tester opted for a tight slash-neck, which broke two more golden rules. The clingy fabric and high neck made what Trinny and Susannah describe as "the wet T-shirt effect", coupled with "moulding the boobs into one big lump". Oh dear, we'd better go down a size or two...
Tiny tits
| |  | She's worried about the bum, but we're just as bothered by the top
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You'd think you couldn't go wrong with a model-physique, but no, we even managed to make our skinny tester look ridiculous.
Our tester should have looked fantastic, but we found her a top to break golden rules. The very fine fabric clung to her skin and the low neck accentuated her bony chest - exaggerating her likeness to Skeletor rather than Betty Boo.
The ¾ length sleeves were also a disaster. As the What Not To Wear book explains: "Three-quarter-length sleeves show the thinnest part of the wrist, making the overall effect way too skeletal."
Just as our tester was heading for the pies and crisps, we found the top to save her from necessary weight-gain.
A halter-neck top looked gorgeous, apparently because "...shoulder is a sexy substitute for a cleavage", according to the book. A top with ruched fabric around the bust was also a fab find, as "frills and froth cover the chest and make up for what is not there". Another result!
| |  | Same top, but a totally different look on different body shapes
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We all agreed skirt-lengths are very tricky, proved by a short tester in an A-line mid-calf skirt. After much head shaking, the skirt was hitched a few inches higher - proving Trinny and Susannah's rules. They said the best skirt length was just below the knee, because: "...this is the thinnest part of your leg...[and] leaves your entire calf open to the public...showing off its maximum length."
The result was a wardrobe re-shuffle, where some of the shorter girls' skirts were given to the taller girls, never to hide too much leg again!
The photo gallery above shows a similar proportion warp, where a semi-backless top exaggerated a short tester's curves and lack of height, but looked great on a taller tester. Seeing the photographs together show Trinny and Susannah's golden rules seem irritatingly accurate!
| |  | We agree with Susannah - this is our favourite too
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We decided to test Susannah's favourite - the wrap cardigan. In the What Not To Wear book, she describes its qualities: "...the deep V will divide the tits, showing your God-given two, as opposed to a deformed one." How could we resist?
The consensus in the room was if your boobs are very big, wraps don't work, equally if you have no boobs, attention is drawn to the hemline rather than the missing cleavage, which creates a pear-shape.
However, everyone should try them. If the wrap is right for you, it'll look a million dollars. This was by far the favourite top of the night for the medium-sized curvy testers. Good on you, Susannah!
| |  | The offending 'Pippa' dress
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Our most entertaining outfit of the night was described by one of the testers as a "Pippa-esque print", referring to our childhood anti-hero of style, Pippa from Home and Away.
The shift dress was devilry incarnate, with an ugly print, no shape to show off a waist, a sleeveless line to exaggerate wide shoulders, a high neck to lower boobs and a hem-line to create an overall pear shape. It might make a pair of curtains in a caravan, though...
| |  | The changing silhouette created by clothing lengths and shapes
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We all agreed looking good was about confidence and the What Not To Wear book is a roller-coaster for self-esteem. Overall, though, we found it hard to disprove the golden rules and had to come to the conclusion that Trinny and Susannah are indeed gurus of the cloth.
We decided that how you felt was more important than high fashion, as one of the testers said: "My favourite thing about this outfit is that it's a size 8, so I wear it with the label hanging out!"
Perhaps we're destined to look self-conscious, however much help we get!
Get involved
| | Follow the BBC What Not To Wear link on the left for more on Trinny and Susannah. The book to accompany the first series is still available in the shops for around £13. We want to hear your opinions on the series or your comments on fashion in Coventry and Warwickshire. If you have a fashion theory you'd like to test or if you're a designer looking to show off your stuff, then let us know. Email any of your ideas or suggestions, using the email link or address on the top right.
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