 |  | Bullying has been a scourge of the playground since the dawn of time and it almost seems that it's a fact of life - the many will gang up on the few for apparently no reason other than to inflict as much misery as possible.
Speaking myself as a victim of bullying - though, thankfully, never for sustained periods - even when the school gates have long-since been left behind, the scars and memories remain and it takes more than time to shake them off.
For author Rob Higgs, who was born and bred in Rugby, being forced to cower at the hands of bullies for most of his school career, the marks that left on him and his subsequent recovery have been chronicled in a new book, which aims to help victims claw themselves out of the bullying spiral.
For Robert, the bullying started in earnest when he arrived at a new school after his parents had moved house, when he was aged around 12.
"I was new and being nice to people, trying to make friends, and the bullies took advantage of that," he said.
| |  | The cover of Rob's book
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"It came from all around my peer group - kids in the same class - and it happened often. Mainly through the sports teams on buses, changing rooms, that kind of thing."
Perhaps it would have been easier to deal with if Rob's tormentors had only subjected him to physical abuse, but the bullies used every means of assault possible - with the mental and psychological abuse proving the most damaging.
"I was excluded by my peers, subjected to taunts and threats and they were the most damaging because they were the things I was thinking about and dwelling on when I wasn't at school."
The bullying began to cause serious and long-term psychological damage, leaving Rob "spiralling downwards" into depression as his confidence took a real battering.
He managed to claw enough positive energy from proving the bullies wrong to get excellent passes in his GCSEs, but when studying for his A Levels, the damage done to his confidence reared it's head again.
"I was studying A Levels at the same school and I just lost interest," he said. "I was blaming myself for everything, and the negative thoughts meant I didn't do well."
Rob went to Uni despite his disappointing grades but he continued to "beat himself up" about his bullying until things got so bad, he got sick. He is firmly convinced he contracted about of glandular fever because he was at such a low.
"I dropped out of uni and dropped to rock bottom, it was only then that I realised I had to do something and stop what I call 'self bullying' - blaming myself for what they had done."
 Now when I look back, I can hardly believe I am the same person. I just don't recognise myself
 | | Robert Higgs
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Something had to change and Rob slowly worked out a plan for doing so.
"I managed to work out that the reason I was picked on - and it had happened before - was that I was afraid to fight. I was at a rough school and afraid to fight, so I went and had boxing lessons to combat that fear.
"I then realised I wasn't able to even speak to people anymore - I just froze - so I forced myself to get jobs in places like call centres, where I had to speak to people and gradually, I got my confidence back."
"Now when I look back, I can hardly believe I am the same person. I just don't recognise myself."
My mistake was being embarrassed and not telling anyone about what was happening
| | Robert Higgs
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When inspired to write his book, What Did I Ever Do To You?, Rob went to interview bullies, victims, counsellors, social workers and other people who could provide an insight into the culture of bullying and how to stop it.
He has now come up with what he believes is the best way to stop the cycle of being a victim and to start living life to the full again.
"Firstly, you need to make sure everyone you know knows what's happening. My mistake was being embarrassed and not telling anyone about what was happening.
"Ask friends, parents and teachers for help - and be persistent and determined in getting it sorted out as not everyone will jump to help first time.
"Next, you need to look at helping yourself. Look at the things about yourself and work out why it's happening. How could you stop it? Write it all down and then think of ways to control it."
This is invaluable advice, not just for the bullied, but for parents, teachers and friends who may be at a loss for ideas on how to help.
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