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28 October 2014
No, but if you hum a few bars I'll give it a go.

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Christmas 2003 with BBC Comedy
Christmas is coming and here's a taster of the comedy you can look forward to.

BBC1Absolutely Fabulous - Christmas Eve 21:05 pm

It’s been a big year in the Monsoon household – Saffy found herself a boyfriend and gave birth to a baby girl, and Edina came to terms with becoming a grandmother (although she didn’t quite get to grips with the baby’s name, Jane, preferring to call her Lola).

Patsy's feeling neglected, and worse still, she hates Christmas. Usually she and Eddy go away somewhere hot and exotic and drink themselves into a stupor till it's all over. Unfortunately, Eddy has other plans this year and, for the first time, she wants to stay at home with Saffy and her granddaughter.

All of this Christmas spirit is too much for Patsy. Have all those years of drug and alcohol abuse finally taken their toll? Is this the end for her?

The Ab Fab website »»

French and Saunders Actually - Boxing Day 11 pm

French and Saunders are back this Christmas with their own unique brand of festive cheer. This year they pay homage to some of the people and moments of 2003. From Rosemary and Thyme to The White Stripes and from The Matrix and Love Actually to the antics of Madonna and Britney, no one is safe...

My Family - Christmas Day 18:40 pm

My Family Christmas is fast approaching and the Harpers have been out and about in London, doing their shopping and getting into the festive spirit. So far, so good.

On the way back home, however, the Tube grinds to a sudden halt and the family is faced with the very real prospect of spending Christmas stuck on the Underground.

The My Family website »»

The Office - Boxing Day 22:15 pm and Saturday 27 December 21:50 pm

The Office There’s good news and there’s bad news. The Office is back, but it’s for one last outing only, in a two-part special.

This Christmas, the documentary team returns to Slough to re-visit their subjects from Wernham Hogg paper merchants and catch up on what has happened over the past couple of years.

David Brent was last seen begging to keep his job, but now the team discovers how well the rest of the staff are coping without Brent’s unique management skills.

And what has become of The Brentmeister? All will be revealed.

The Office website »»

Only Fools and Horses - Christmas Day 21:20 pm

The Office Del Boy and Rodders return to the small screen in the last of three specials written by John Sullivan.

The Trotters have had a turbulent couple of years. After becoming millionaires in 1996, they managed to lose the money and had to replace the high life in Monte Carlo with the low life in Peckham when they found themselves owing a large amount of money to the Inland Revenue.

In Sleepless In Peckham, Del Boy and family have only two weeks to find the cash to pay the Inland Revenue, or they will be evicted from Nelson Mandela House. After 22 years in the flat, Del and Rodney are determined they will not have to bid it 'bonjour'.

The Only Fools website »»

Posh and Becks' Big Impression - Christmas Day 22:35 pm

Big Impression Alistair McGowan and Ronni Ancona serve up a festive feast charting the Beckhams’s move from Beckingham Palace to Madrid.

Celebrities from across the showbiz spectrum give their verdict on the Posh and Becks transfer, including ex-Sporty Spice Mel C, Ruby Wax and Jonathan Ross.

Posh and Becks also receive some helpful advice from football legend Kevin Keegan, Madonna and Ozzy Osbourne.

BBC2 The Kumars at No 42 Special - Monday December 22nd 21:30 pm

Sanjeev Bhaskar The Kumars celebrate the festive season as only they can at one of TV’s most popular addresses.

This year, the family decides to stay at home for Christmas rather than visiting relatives in India. But it isn’t a relaxing time for Sanjeev, who’s humiliated as he’s made to parade past presents, including a frightening collection of Christmas outfits.

Neil Morrissey joins in the fun, and Christmas wouldn’t be the same without Sir Cliff singing one of his festive floor-fillers. It seems like a perfect way to round off the series – unless granny Sushila gets her hands on the egg nog...

Grumpy Old Men Christmas Special - Christmas Day 22:20 pm

Grumpy Old Men Festive cheer is put on the backburner as a rogues' gallery of middle-aged moaners vent their spleen.

Enjoy this Scrooge-esque special edition where pantos, nativity plays, flase bonhomie and novelty socks all come under fire.

And if you just can't wait get a sneaky preview here »»

Double Take Christmas Special

Double Take Double Take, the Bafta award-wining concept that uses look-a-likes filmed in ways that make them indistinguishable from the real thing, was first broadcast in the spring.

This Christmas special offers the funniest, most startling moments from the first series, plus several new Christmas scenarios featuring 'celebrities' uncannily like Posh and Becks, Elton John and Jamie Oliver.

No other programme would dare show Prince William taking a pot-shot at Camilla, the Prime Minister trying to potty train baby Leo or Chris Evans passing out in a toilet.

Dead Ringers Christmas Special - Monday December 22nd 21:00 pm

Dead Ringers Just when politicians, celebrities and Royalty thought they had got away with it, the Dead Ringers team is back for two Christmas specials.

With their own twist on programmes such as Restoration, How Clean Is Your House, Doctor Who and The Office, Jon Culshaw, Jan Ravens, Kevin Connelly, Phil Cornwell and Mark Perry prove once again that nothing is sacred and no one is safe.

Derren Brown, Paul Burrell and Simon Cowell had also better look out – they’re among the new characters to be given the Dead Ringers treatment, joining such favourites as Simon Schama, Sophie Raworth, Robert Winston, Gandalf and the Osbournes in this topical round-up of the year’s events.

BBC3 3 Non-Blondes Christmas Special

3 Non Blondes The 3 Non-Blondes shake up Christmas with a special that promises to knock the needles off the tree and scare the turkey back into the oven.

Having struck terror into most, if not all, of the UK, the 3 Non- Blondes now hit Copenhagen – quite literally. Festive shoppers and tourists had better beware – when Jocelyn Jee Esien, Ninia Benjamin and Tameka Empson hit the streets with their hidden cameras in tow, nothing is sacred and no one is safe... even at Christmas.

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