A word from one of the writers about tonight's show, 8:30pm on BBC3.

Q : CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT YOUR SHOW IS?

A : YES

7 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT 7 DAYS

1. It's topical comedy.

2. It features a bunch of comedians and funny people talking about the news of the last 7 days.

3. In between are informative bits where we might explain 7 Signs You Are Obese, or 7 Other Ways Foxes Should Die, or 7 Signs Your Tube Driver Is Colour Blind.

4. The number 7 features heavily.

5. The show starts on the 7th second of the 7th minute of the 7th month on BBC 7.

6. There will be lots of lists.

7. The show lasts for 7 times 7 minutes (minus 19 minutes)

Q : CAN YOU TELL ME WHO WILL BE ON YOUR SHOW?

A : YES

7 PEOPLE WHO WON'T BE ON 7 DAYS

1. Chris rock – too expensive

2. Kofi Annan – too busy

3. David Blaine – too annoying

4. Mr. Darcy – too fictitious

5. Edith Piaf – too dead

6. The Invisible Man – too invisible

7. Claire Stephenson – two-timed me when I was 15

Q : NO, CAN YOU TELL ME WHO WILL BE ON YOUR SHOW?

A : YES

7 PEOPLE WHO WILL BE ON 7 DAYS (TONIGHT)

1. Rich Hall

2. Marcus Brigstocke

3. Lucy Porter

4. Reginald D. Hunter

5. Will Smith

6. John Oliver

7. Mark Steel

Q : BEING TOPICAL DO YOU RUN INTO A LOT OF LEGAL PROBLEMS?

A : YES

7 THINGS WE CAN'T SAY ON 7 DAYS

1. Lawks-a-lordy

2. Oh bother

3. By the beard of St. Elbar!

4. Mauve

5. Hoon my Blunkett you big fat Darling

6. Yahtzee!

7. Sh*thead

Q : DOES BEING TOPICAL MEAN YOU CAN'T WRITE THINGS THAT AREN'T TOPICAL AND IF SO CAN YOU GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF THE KINDS OF THINGS YOU CAN'T WRITE?

A : YES

7 NOT-SO-SCARY GIANT CHANTS

1. Fee Fi Fo Fun

2. Fee Fi Fo Floss

3. Fee Fi Fo Rinse and Spit

4. Fee Fi Fo-shizzle

5. Fee Fi Fo Fum, I've Got a Nice Bum

6. Fee Fi Fo Fay, Guess What? I'm Gay

7. FIFA President Sepp Blatter