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24 September 2014
The Fast Show

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No Offence
No Offence

This orange-skinned, South African department store cosmetics saleswoman always tells her customers what she feels they should know.

She specialises in making insulting assumptions about people - 'I'm guessing you're divorced, if you've let yourself lapse in the feminine hygiene department'.

No offenceShe has told people that there's no point buying products as they're a lost cause, that they aren't manly enough for a new scent, and that they shouldn't allow themselves to be seen in swimwear.

And as her victims - sorry, customers - are reeling from the shock, she reassures them that she didn't mean it in a nasty way: 'No offence'.

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