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24 September 2014
Blackadder

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  the King and QueenThe Black Seal
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Blackadder decides that he can wait no longer to seize his destiny. He sets out to recruit the six most evil men in the Kingdom - The Black Seal - to help him take control of the country.

His plans are thwarted by the arrival of his oldest enemy: the Hawk. This implacable foe throws Edmund into a dungeon and goes off to take over the kingdom himself. Edmund escapes and summons the Black Seal, but they betray him and help the Hawk to imprison Edmund in a hideous torture device.

Percy and Baldrick kill the villains with poisoned wine, but unfortunately they manage to murder the entire royal family - Edmund included - with the same batch. Whoops.

quotes
quote Blackadder (to Percy): You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would. Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly and the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the Court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be.

quote Blackadder: Dear Lord, who made the birds and the bees... and the snails, presumably, erm, please help me, a little animal too, in my despair. I have bee a sinner, but now I intend to follow the path of the saints: particularly the very religious ones.

quote King: St Juniper once said; 'By his loins shall ye know him, and by the length of his rod shall he be measured.'

brush up
shakespeare Blackadder calls the Black Seal, "we few, we happy few, we band of ruthless bastards" - an echo of Henry V's speech before the Battle of Agincourt.

quiz
try a quiz Test Your Cunning Try the Black Adder series one quiz.

more
fact Baldrick's father was called Robin the Dung Gatherer. In turn, Baldrick waited for years before himself becoming a dung-shoveller. It's an enviable career, apparently, with more applicants than vacancies.

evil It's one long rollercoaster of evil from start to finish in this episode. A highlight is the Hawk's "amusing" torture device:
"In precisely one minute, the spike will go up your nethers, the shears will cut off your ears... the axes will chop off your hands. I don't think we need to go into the attributes of the coddling grinder."

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Blackadder Episode Guide
Series One Black Adder
The Foretelling
Born To Be King
The Archbishop
The Queen of Spain's Beard
Witchsmeller Pursuivant
The Black Seal

Series OneBlackadder II
Bells
Head
Potato
Money
Beer
Chains
Series One Blackadder the Third
Dish & Dishonesty
Ink & Incapability
Nob & Nobility
Sense & Senility
Amy & Amiability
Duel & Duality
Series four Blackadder Goes Forth
Captain Cook
Corporal Punishment
Major Star
Private Plane
General Hospital
Goodbyeee




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