05 July 2006
David makes it across the Channel without being eaten by a great white shark, Tweedy takes on the WAGs and Maria gets an eyeful. It's the daily news – love it like family...
Thank goodness, David Walliams has made it across the Channel without anything terrible happening to him. The Little Britain star took 10hrs and 34 minutes to complete the 21-mile swim and has now been declared one of the 50 fastest channel swimmers of all time. All good stuff and traders will be currently watching the results of a few dolphin-friendly inches appear on DAVWAL's data page. Maybe he'll trade in his life of celebrity parties and women for a new life as a Merman; it worked for Tom Hanks in Splash.
Sharapova got a little bit more than she bargained for yesterday when she stepped onto the Wimbledon courts. Maria was upstaged in the middle of her game when a naked, cart-wheeling Dutchman streaked across the court. The tabloids have published pictures of the tennis ace giggling on the side-lines as she watched the Dutch TV presenter get escorted out of the stadium. It's good to see that the Dutch are attempting to be head-and-shoulders above the rest of Europe with their funny and original stunts for television. Next time, why not suspend yourself in a plastic box above Tower Bridge – no-one's done that in quite a while.
Cheryl Tweedy has been slagging off the WAGs saying "It's like a comedy. Everyone's so flash. It's like, who's got the best watch on, who's got the best bag, which wife is dressed the best, which wife's got the best hair?"(The Sun). Oh dear, messing with the WAGs is like taking on the Godfather himself. Tweedy better watch herself as she just might wake up one morning next to the ruins of a dismembered Louis Vuitton carrier case – horrific.
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