| Scary
movies - the ultimate guide |
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| Be
afraid.... be very afraid |
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Want
to scare yourself silly this Halloween - but too scared to set foot
outside the house? You wimp!
Best thing to do is grab a handful of videos and hide behind the sofa... |
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Well,
it's that time of year again when little kiddies don white sheets
and knock on your door demanding sweets, and teenagers throw flour
bombs at your house, key your car and shout abuse through your letterbox
- oh! the joys of Halloween. If none of this appeals to you, you could
always turn off your lights, pretend you're not in and settle down
in front of the box to watch a bowel-loosening horror movie - now
that sounds more like it!!!
Here's a list of the hits (and maybe a few
misses) for the delight of your eyeballs this All Hallows Eve:
THE EXORCIST:
 William
Freidkin's horror masterpiece. A gallon of your finest pea soup please
madam!
HALLOWEEN H20:  Drinking
water is slightly more scary than this movie.
JEEPERS CREEPERS:  The
new direction for the horror genre. I certainly hope not!
THE OTHERS:  At
last, Nicole Kidman and Eric Sykes are united on the silver screen.
HAUNTED:
Kate
Beckinsale was doing so well, then she made 'Pearl Harbour'. It's
a shame.
CARRIE: Burn
baby burn, disco inferno. Have I just given the ending away?
HALLOWEEN:  Who
is Michael Myers? Why does he want to kill people? And how does Donald
Pleasance make his head so shiny?
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: The
living dead are taking over, a bit like Eastbourne in many respects.
EVIL DEAD II:
A man seeking vengeance on his own hand by means of a chainsaw. It
doesn't get much better than this!
BRAINDEAD:
You'll
never approach garden maintenance in quite the same way again.
BAD TASTE: Proving
you don't need a massive budget to make a gut wrenchingly fantastic
horror movie.
THE OMEN: 666
- The Number of the Beast, and a really spooky child actor to boot.
SCREAM: Wes
Craven comes up trumps after the 'New Nightmare' debacle.
PSYCHO: "Mother,
can you hear me mother?" No, she's dead Norman!
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
LAST SUMMER: As
long as you don't have pictures I don't care.
SCARY MOVIE:
A
parody of a parody! How's that supposed to work then? (It doesn't).
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET: Freddy
Krueger, possibly the greatest horror character ever created!
NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 5: FREDDY'S
BABY: Oh please!
THE THING: Carpenter's
finest and I don't mean the band!
HELLRAISER: A
Rubix Cube that can open the door to the other side. Astonishing.
THE BIRDS:
Do
you suffer from Ornithophobia? You will after watching this Hitchcock
masterpiece.
DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS: About
as scary as a fluffy puppy, but still more so than Halloween H20.
THE WICKERMAN: "The
Shadow of the Wickerman is rising up tonight" and all for the sake
of a few apples.
So dim the lights, sit back, and enjoy the
revolting, nauseating and abhorrent nature of the masterpiece that
you have wisely chosen. But remember, in the words of Nick Ross, "Don't
have nightmares"!!!
Phill Trow
More spooky
Halloween fun... |
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