Good news - we've managed to get ahold of a script for BBC Scotland's River City.
River City is a continuing drama set in Shieldinch, a fictional suburb of Glasgow, which airs every Tuesday at 8:00pm on BBC One Scotland. It's been running since 2002, and gets an average of half-a-million viewers each week.
Sadly it doesn't air south of the border, so unless you live in Scotland, you may have not seen it before - but thanks to the miracles of modern technology you can now watch it on the BBC's iPlayer.
As ever, you may need to download Acrobat Reader, as the script is in PDF format.