Boston live Live LIVE
- 22 Feb 07, 05:22 PM
We're now off air but here's everything from tonight's show you'll ever need to know...
As Pete told you earlier we're live from the Public Media Conference 2007 in Boston Massachusetts. As you can see by the photo it's pretty busy, but I'm sure I'm sure team WHYS have got the the situation well under control. Remember, you can read emails and text messages here, and of course post your own comments as well.
Ros has just been met with a rapturous reception form the audience in Boston. And we've heard that we'll be talking about Marriage and Bloggers. It's marriage first though, and we've got Neerja in India, Esra in Turkey, Axel in Germany and Andre in Trinidad all waiting to talk about this.
Marriage really seems to have got the audience going. There's been some great exchanges from across the floor with one conference member making the point that divorse was invented in the UK by Henry VIII.
Andre says that it's becoming acceptable in Trinidad for women to have children out of wedlock
Paul in the audience says it's the children who are the most important in a marriage.
Christanne says she's a single mother and much happier out of an unhappy marriage.
Ben thinks marriage licences should only be given to people over 30 because he got married too early and wishes he hadn't.
Vincent in our Nairobi studio I happy as a bachelor.
Here's some of the comments sent in...
Anonymous:
The decline in active marriages is a sign of the times. We are in the end animals. when marriage was invented it suited a primitive need. It was a way for a female to guarantee security and basic needs for her and her offspring. For the male it was a way to stake claim to a breeding partner and ensuring his genes were passed on.
Kim from Portland, Oregon:
I think marriage rates are down because it's no longer a necessity. People are able to take their time to find a suitable partner.
John in Cleveland:
What's ruining marriage is the court system having archaic preference over women. Why should a man be liable for a woman through alimony when they get a divorce? What's worse if children are involved. Women get far too much in a divorce settlement and use children as the basis for needing excessive money from men when divorcing.
Leeland, Bloomington:
Yes, Marraige is dying. I think that it is a shame to a certain extent, although I have never had much respect for paperwork. There are many reasons.
Kalypso from Austria:
Marriage is a commitment for life. If marriage is dying and the number of singles increases, it would means, that the family is dying, and family is the basis for society
Immanuel from Nigeria.
Marriage is a institution that last forever.
FWELEFWELE-MZUZU MALAWI.
Man's incomplete without woman the same is with woman.
JOHN
When it comes to family matters, the west should look to Africa & Asia.
ANON
My ex wife divorced me in 1977 If I'd been Henry VIII I would have cut her head off.HappyDivorcee
Anon
I am an american living in Morocco and i am constantly getting harrarsed from people about being in my twenties and not being married. In the village where i work girls get married as soon as they turn 18. It is also shameful for me to ask a man if he is married but everyone from taxi driver to people I just meet on the street can ask me. Yesterday on the train a man yelled at me for the duration of the trip for not being married.
Victor -NIGERIA
U can't eat your cake & have it. Divorcees & single parents take note. Marriage have more benefits.
Esra in Turkey, thinks marriage should not die because it's the only thing that preserves the structure of society
Axel thinks that marriage is a dying institution in Germany but he's keen on it and is about to get married for the second time.
Divina doesn't agree and things that you can have a successful relationship without being married
Najeeb,pakistan
Marriage is joy of life,marriage is satisfiction of life,marriage makes you responsible, marriage is a track to new family,remember,if stop getting marriage, then we will set our agenda on B.B.C,Is family as institution dying.
From Jamil maibe
I dont think marriage is significant in the U.S because pre marital sex and out of wedlock pregnancies are allowed unlike my country nigeria.
Justus Chintu, Malawi
Why do pple want 2 get fruits of marriage (kids) without commitment. Thats bad. Marriage wil live on.
I AM GILBERT IN TANZANIA. MARIAGE IS JUST BUT GAMBLING.IT'S ABOUT FINANCE AND NOT A COMITMENT.CONSIDER THE AMERICAN CELBRITYS IN HOLLYWOOD
You cant tell the truth , fidelity is beyond you ; marriage is the proof of your wilful deceit .
Lewellyn
I support the listner that said marriage is a divine institution, and should be taken very seriously. Please take it seriously and not a game.
The context of marriage is complex; it is religeous, social, economic, cultural etc. A full appreciation of the context is key to its understanding and success.
Mckeith in uganda
Marriage is not only about children. These days marriage is taken as a game. Wake up world.
Tunji in Nigeria
Marriage is part of our culture in Nigeria, its simply what you have to do especially the women, if you dont u are seen as been irresponsible.
gilbert mpigi uganda.
Marriage checks promiscurity and harmonises religious norms and with family structures.
DAVID MATIMO INDIA
Marriage Is an Institution, That should be honoured, Respected, and well catered for... Each should be committed to make it pure and long lasting.. Infact all responsible mature People should get married, share their love and be happy .
Leland writes:
People are becoming more rigid and less willing to change their personal ways for others. This is bad.
Tommy from Ohio:
Commitment is not what is most important about the institution of marriage nor is it why people should feel as though they should be married. Marriage is necessary because without it we will see a world with illegitimate children who have no perception of the importance of family and morals and are raised with split parents who obviously created the child hedonistically. It's as simple as that. I don't believe people have any real perception of commitment until they have been married.
Jaques from Boston:
It is better to be married than to be alone. Women are trying to ruin it for me, but i will try and try it again.
Neerja in India, who's been very patient on the phone definitely agrees with marriage and is happy in hers.
Marriage is the cement that holds society together and critical to nation building. The end of marriage will spell doom to the world.
Brendan from Radio Open Source has started us off on the blog conversation. And he thinks that blogs are great tools for changing opinion, and whenever they make a government react the way the Egyptian government has they clearly have worth.
And in our Cairo studio we've got the blogger Sand Monkey. He was in court when his fellow blogger was sent to prison. He says that due to other similar cases in the country it wasn't a shock that his friend was sent to prison. He also says that the court house was like a circus.
Steve in Utah:
Do bloggers influence politics and society? Yes. If not, why are prominent American politicians like John Edwards, Barack Obama, and John McCain now using blogs? In fact, why do some of them turn over blog space on their sites to complete strangers?
FROM EMMANUEL IN OGUN STATE,IN NIGERIA
BLOGGERS ARE VOICING OUT THEIR OPINION THEY SHOULD NOT BE PERSECUTED.
SAROJKUMAR from Chennai, India:
The apprehending of a blogger for sedition in Egypt shows how world governments want to muzzle the freedom of people who wants to air their opinion against the erring government. Blogging should be brought under the United Nations Human Rights Convention to protect the interests of scrupulous bloggers.
Martin from Delaware, US:
I have learned that marriage is a formality that should only follow true friendship and companionship. I haven't experienced much of either save for gross meddling from in-laws and I'm seriously looking to end it. Formal marriage, especially in Kenya where I grew up, is overrated.
Bryce from Oregon:
I don’t agree that people should be of a certain age to get married, but maybe people should be in a relationship for a while before they can get married.
Malcom from Ruston:
I would like to ask what is marriage? Why does the marriage between two people have to exist as a contractual document. True marriage should be a special bond between two people, not a legal issue with your government. If you do believe in a religion, then the marriage should be between you, your spouse, and your God...not the state.
Jeff from Cleveland, USA
I wonder why it's difficult for people to just say that marriage can be wonderful under certain circumstances, but it can also be harmful under others.
Suzy writes:
as a Christian I didn't want to get married because I feel that the state has made a mockery of marriage. I wish that Church and state were separated.
JULIAN, in our Paris bureau, from the internet freedom desk at reporters without borders, says that now that bloggers are being imprisoned people need to start stepping up and being counted to stop things like this happening again.
Lubna,Iraq.
Hi Boston,bloggers can sometimes reveal truth,but in many times they can damage and harm everything thats sacred,in iraq,bloggers have no much effect
arafat kampala uganda
World have your say,my comment is,'marriage is vital in preserving values such as respect,integrity,commitment and many more in the society'
Brendon says that global voices online is a great source for bloggers. Click here to find out more.
Sand monkey says the Egyptian government doesn't care what the rest of the international community thinks, it will continue arresting and jailing bloggers whatever anyone says.
But Julian disagrees saying that of course they listen to the outside world and things will change.
But Sand Monkey doubts that very much.
See you tomorrow
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Comments Post your comment
I don't think happy marriage is a dying institution. Most people still want that but it's the unhappy marriage that is endangered as people put more value on personal happiness and less value on maintaining a status quo for others.
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I have a strange blog. In it I republish the comments I send to BBC WHYS with slight modifications. I must admit very few people visit it a day. No more than 20 as an average.
But the good thing about it is that some sites happened to republish some of my comments, including the Guardian Unlimited in its column of "the best of links" when I wrote an article answering BBC WHYS's question if Muslims should serve in the British army. On the whole I detected via google research that there are about 10 links to my blog, not to mention the very few sites which picked up some of my articles
I sometimes get e-mails from readers mainly in the USA, expressing their like of what I say. In my blog I speak only for myself. I don't seek to stand for any ideological tendency.
I see blogging as an opportunity for self-expression about general matters. Sometimes I succeed in writing good comments, others I just keep rambling to fill the page. It's better to have a means to connect with the world, even if those who access what I daily write are very few.
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Marriege is a cultural institution based on love and affiliation for members of different sexes modified by religious, political and economic circumstances. In Uganda, traditional marrieges were rated according to the heroic status of a man, the more fame he commanded, the more women he married. The value of marriege was in the safety and hapinness of the children. However of late, commercialization has took central stage i.e. what is there for either party other than love and sex. Hence in the west, we hear of marrieges of convenience, contractual marrieges, gay/ lesbian , getting the Green Card in the USA etc. Even in Uganda, a Domestic relations bill is being tabled to allow people to have as many partners for as long as they can look after them and love them equally. I believe commercialization is key to the decay in the marriege industry
Deo Byaruhanga
Mukono Uganda
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I have been married for a little over one year. Our number one reason for marriage is to show a commitment to our friendship. Neither of us believe in monogamy or for that matter are religious. However, Marriage works for us because we are a team in our goals and ambitions. I think Marriage works as long as you both are true to what you want as human beings. If marriage is seen as this impossible expectation of monagamy etc then it will never work and should very much be be on the decline.
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Marriage is not for everyone, but make no mistake just because it is not for you does not mean it is not essential important to a thriving society.
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Marriage was not instituted by any government but it was instituted by God the Almighty. Most people run away from marriage because of the commitment that comes with marriage. The American courts have turn marriage into a contract you can easily break. Ask the single mothers in your audience this question. Its easy to raise a child without a father?
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I as an African feel that marriege is still a viable institution but is being eroded by globalization and importation of foreign cultures. Key of these is affirmative action, gender equity and equality for women which has improved their bargaining power and reduced male tolerence for the relationships. This has been aggravated by governments supporting same sex marrieges which have no sustainability. Like friendship, for friendship marriege to thrive, there must be some common interest, usually children and a dependancy of some sort by one of the partners. Other stimuli destroying the institution are commercial interests like surrogacy, access to test tube babies and adoption of children
Michael Kakooza
Kampala Uganda
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Marriage was not instituted by any government but it was instituted by God the Almighty. Most people run away from marriage because of the commitment that comes with marriage. The American courts have turn marriage into a contract you can easily break. Ask the single mothers in your audience this question. Its easy to raise a child without a father?
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Here in Vancouver, Washington we had a marriage event this past weekend with 1200 people present. Marriage is not dying and more and more people are taking steps to invest in their marriages.
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Marriage is a relationship based on give and take. i am hearing people comment that people don't need marriage to complicate their lives. It seems very selfish to comdemn marriage because you are not willing to give of your self. focus on what you can get out of it or that it is disposable. i was a single mother for 9 years never married and now have been married for 7 with 3 more children. marriage can be tough but I feel very fulfulling. Divorce makes it very easy to commit with a back door. but is not an option for me.
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Marriage is declining in societies like Morocco, not because the desire for staying free or having a partner, but because of the fear of the cost of a married life.
Those who choose to get married, rarely do so in their twenties, especially males. The majority get married at least in their thirties.
Not getting married in such societies has mainly to do more with the material situation than with anything else.
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I do not believe that marraige is an outdated institution. We in Nepal have a great culture of "arranged marriage". The most wonderful thing about arranged wedlocks is that the "suspense" factor spices up the relationship.
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I think that GODS way is the best. & as marriage dies out so will the increase confused teenagers. We will wise up too late. God is not mocked.
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I am mailing from Seattle WA and I have been married for almost 4 years now and my wife and I are completely different people. But our marriage is sacred as marriage in India is not about liking the person or not. Yes, you do need to feel the love and attraction towards one another. Marriage is sacred and needs to be kept above the daily rumblings of everyday life.
In India, the people involved in a marriage are committed to the marriage itself and their commitment does not depend on behaviour or likes and dislikes of the other person. If one keeps marriage above everything else, then there is no question of the other person's behavior affecting one's commitment to the marriage.
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I am a 27 year old educated female from Oregon. (OPB member too!) I was in a relationship for 8 1/2 years with a man, we lived together, and we never got to the point where we could say "yes, lets get married." Needless to say, we are no longer together.
I am now with a (wonderful) man since October and we are talking about marriage.
Marriage isn't dead, but its changing and evolving. There is something more permanent and concrete about marriage. It is a statement of committment that you are not only making to the world but also to each other.
And I think this was illustrated during the whole gay marriage legalization debachle. (I support anyones right to get married!) If marriage is dying then why were there droves and LINES of people wanting to get married when (for an unfortunately brief time) gay marriage was legal!?
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Well, to me married is important to each and evry human being in this world, but i just reliazed that most of the people they was just ignoring it becouse they Dont want it.
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