Too fat to adopt
A couple from Leeds who want to adopt have been told they can't because one of them is too fat. Damien and Charlotte Hall contacted this programme after being told by Leeds City Council that Mr Hall's body mass index - or BMI - had to be below 40 before they could start the adoption process.
The Halls say they could offer a child a loving home but the council says adopted children need the best possible lifelong care - and Mr Hall's weight might impact on his long term ability to be an adoptive Dad. Victoria went to Damien and Charlotte's home in Leeds to meet them. Watch the video of the meeting below.
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This is such a ridiculous thing for the council to say. Of course they have a duty to ensure that a child is placed with a family that can offer all the things that they say are important. But the perfect 'adoptee' could be run over by a bus the day after adopting or struck down with cancer. Life is not perfect and the council are trying to make 'one size fits all' rules for an imperfect world.
This is a result of our society having become over-regulated and not trusting to individual judgements based on the merits of individual cases. The case worker in this case should be given the power to make a decision based on their judgement not a set of guidelines. This is what we pay them for, not to push guidelines around. If we go that way we should get rid of case workers, employ someone on minimum wage and feed the details into a computer program for them to say, 'computer says no!'
I listened to Damien and he sounds a great guy, most people who are overweight realise themselves that they have to get it under control and eventually do so. Our 24/7, work, work economy does not help people to lead ideal lives because they are tired when they get any free time and choose the convienient option the media suggests and then we criticise them for the result instead of criticising food manufacturers, employers and society in general.
Yes to personal responsibility and I am sure Damien will lose the weight, but yes also to valuing what is important in life; quality time with family and working to live not the other way round.
We are living in an increasingly crazy world
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Whether we like it or not social services will look at many issues surrounding whether a person is suitable to adopt or not and what is in the best interest of the child and weight is an issue as it can mask so many others issues in a person's life.
Yes you may get knocked over by a bus tomorrow but the odds are against it and it can't be predicted. The chances of being alive through this child's life (whether we like it or not) are reduced if you nearly 10 stone overweight and that is predictable. I'm not speaking without knowledge, as my BMI was 46 and is now 36 and steadily reducing. I didn't have any ill health but I think that is because I had always been very active as a child and young woman.
If adopting is important, then you will lose the weight, but don't blame the powers that be when they are trying to do the best that they can for the children in their care.
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Look at it from the child's point of view - their birth family didn't care enough to keep them, their foster carers passed them on to the adopters. What would it do to them if their 'forever father' doesn't care enough about them to stay healthy for them?
Damien said that Charlotte would be a great single parent if he died - this is too simplistic. He has no idea how she would cope with her own bereavement if he died, let alone how she could cope with a further bereaved child at the same time. Death isn't their only possible difficulty - how would she cope with looking after a child as well as caring for him if he becomes disabled through obesity, stroke, cancer, heart problems, arthritis or diabetes? An adopted child has enough difficulties of their own without the possibility of having to care for an adoptive parent. Yes, a perfect adopter could be run over by a bus the day after adopting, as could either of the Halls, but it's reasonable for the council to try to limit the additional risks for the child.
The council also have to think about the child's physical health and need to ask further questions - How did Damien get to this point? How are the couple addressing the problem together? Will they ensure a child gets a healthier diet than they have? How will they prevent a child picking up their food habits and becoming obese itself?
A bmi of 42.5 is very high, 40 is the 'morbid obesity' limit. 25 is overweight and 30 is obese, the MP on the programme was minimising the problem by saying that he was 'only 2.5 points above the limit'. The Council haven't refused them permission to apply, they have asked him to show understanding of the difficulties and a committment to solving the problem by reducing his bmi before the assessment goes further.
I wish this couple luck in their adoption ambitions, but hope that they realise that they will have to put their own feelings aside and the needs of any adopted child first if they are going to be of any real use to that child. They will presumably also need to show that they can deal with any problems that arise by discussing them with social services rather than running to the media!
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Oh man, if you think that's fat... you should see some adoptive parents here in the states... A family friend of ours had to have been 800lbs + would adopt kids merely just to do all the house work!!!
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BMIs can be misleading, but unless he's a serious athlete (hence heavy muscle bulk and higher BMI), this guy is seriously obese, with all the health risks attached.
Add to this, he wouldn't be able to take part in many activities with his kids due to his weight. It is also well-known that children often follow their parents' eating habits, so this would add a health risk for the kids in the future.
I am an adopter who does everything he can to get more children adopted. I'm also heavy, so I have some sympathy. However there's a clear choice here - lose weight ! Good luck Damien.
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The reality is there are literally 1000's of children in care in our county alone. Is it best for them to stay in care all thier childhood or be adopted by people who will love them.
Are you saying that if the Halls went to the childrens home that there wouldnt be one child that wouldnt jump at the chance to move to a loving home.
Children want a Home, Love, guidance, care and the feeling of being part of a family.
Many over weight people have adopted including Dawn French.
My wife and I have three lovely children through adoption and and they have had a wonderful life so far... is this so wrong as we are overweight! Or should they have been left in social services "care".
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David, I am with you, these children need adopting. However if Mr Hall cannot make this small step (i.e. below BMI 40 from 42) now, it seems likely he will have trouble doing this in the future, with the health problems that result. It's tough, but someone needs to make that call, and I think it's the right one.
In the long run, they are encouraging Mr Hall to do something that he clearly needs to do anyway.
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Hmmmmm - it seems that it's not discrimination if the authorities do it. As has been pointed out, an adoptive couple who are in perfect A1 health and fitness could get run over the day after collecting the child. This couple could undoubtedly provide a valuable service as well as giving any number of children who may or may not have a troubled background a loving, stable home and happiness and bring them up to be decent people with prospects for their future instead of just becoming another forgotten little hoodlum out robbing cars and mugging people.
I wish the Halls well and hope they win!
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This may be interesting for the Halls. My husband and I tried to adopt for three and a half years and after going through all sorts of hoops to be approved we were then passed over for various arbitrary reasons. One of these being that we were too sporty because we had done one London Marathon and were active at an amateur level in a number of sports! It seems you cannot win. We did eventually get placed with a child but sadly it did not work out for us. However, my husband was primary carer and lost a lot of weight when he was playing with and running around after the child!
I wish you well.
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Victoria:
I have to agreed with Leeds Council on this case...
[Thanks for visiting the home]....
~Dennis Junior~
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Fight it with all your energy - kids are languishing in care - some good some not so good, with their only hope to have a family of their own. Someone to call Mum and Dad who belongs to them forever.
How can the judgemental effect of this narrow medical assessment take that away from people who can offer so much.
Find an agency who will support you and look for a local authority whose medical officer has common sense.
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This is crazy. I don't think that all county councils have the same regulations about weight - surely that isn't fair. Your weight does not decide if you can offer a child a loving home or not for goodness sake!
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I cannot beleive that the Council could be so short sighted as to delay their adoption application longer than necessary.
Especially as both Damian and Charlotte are doing everything they can to prove they would be loving and caring parents. Can you imagine how any child would feel knowing they remained with foster carers or in a home longer than necessary because of policy.
I have signed the petition on their behalf. I think everyone should do the same to make the Council rethink this ridiculous policy. www.ipetitions.com/petition/damianhall
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