Tuesday 29 June 2010, 17:08
When I had the chance to write and present the documentary Disappearing Dad, about fathers in fiction, I immediately knew which way I wanted to go.
I had just been trying to invent a plot for a novel, and I'd been thinking it would be useful if the villain of the piece had been psychologically damaged by his evil father.
Then I'd thought, 'Hold on, I can't do that again' and looking over the plotlines of my first half dozen books it had struck me how often the father was mad, bad, just generally useless, or entirely absent.
Perhaps this explained why my latest novel has been on my father's bookshelf for the past six months with the bookmark at page 20.
In fact, I have a perfectly good relationship with my dad; it's just that if a father does play his paternal role correctly, there can be no story. He would, by means of his restraining hand, his wise counsel or financial support, step in to prevent any misadventures occurring. Much better to kill him off in chapter three, as Robert Louis Stevenson does with Jim Hawkins's father in Treasure Island.
Dad is usually dead in any decent children's story, whether it be Harry Potter or The Tale of Peter Rabbit, whose father was not only killed but also eaten by Mr McGregor.
In the course of filming, I looked at a whole library-shelf full of children's books, and dad had been killed off in almost every one.
As clips in the film will show, Mr Bennet, of Pride and Prejudice is laid-back to the point of negligence, whilst my favourite author, Dickens, specialised mainly in orphans.
Of the fathers who do take centre stage in his books, Mr Dombey of Dombey and Son causes disaster by playing the role of the unbending paterfamilias, whereas Mr Micawber (David Copperfield) and William Dorrit (Little Dorrit) are more childish than their own children.
In the second half of the 20th century, it wasn't just authors who were against fathers, it was the whole of society. The youthquake of the 1960s, the rise of feminism, and the culture of 'cool' mean that any male hoping to exert familial authority was ripe for a kicking.
In the kitchen-sink novels of the fifties, 'father' has become dad, a risible figure who's wasted his life down a coal mine, and never had sex with anyone except the woman he married.
At least he didn't aspire to be like his children, but today's father has capitulated to youth culture. He wears shorts in summer; he drinks his coffee from a mug marked Cool Daddy; he reads books telling him to become his children's 'best mate'.
The film features clips from Man and Boy, from the novel by Tony Parsons, and About A Boy (Nick Hornby), both featuring middle aged men learning life lessons from young boys, and very excruciating is the process.
My advice to any author is: despatch dad quickly and cleanly early on, before he starts killing all the magic of your story with his male-pattern baldness, his dodgy knees, and his unsympathetic and uncomprehending or - worse still - his sympathetic and comprehending attitude towards the modern world and the beautiful young people in it.
Andrew Martin is the presenter of Disappearing Dad.
Disappearing Dad is broadcast on Tuesday, 29 June at 9pm on BBC Four, part of the Fatherhood Season.
BBC Four controller Richard Klein has also written for the BBC TV blog on the Fatherhood season.
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Monday 28 June 2010, 16:00
Wednesday 30 June 2010, 15:16
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Comment number 1.
Graphis30th June 2010 - 6:43
Hmmm... as an absent father myself (divorced, wife took son to live halfway round the world), I don't know whether to feel guilty or delighted. On the one hand you suggest that my son could be psychologically damaged by me not being there: on the other, you seem to be suggesting he's going to have a much more exciting and adventurous life without me! As a father who loves his son, I would love for him to have an adventure of 'Treasure Island' proportions. Such an experience would make a man of him and give him vital life skills, more than I could teach him: far better than dropping him off on the school run and taking him swimming on Thursdays...
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Comment number 2.
christine30th June 2010 - 8:39
Mothers are also absent from most books. Was it Philip Pullman who said you first have to get rid of the parents? Maybe thats why boarding school stories were/are popular, another less permanent way of getting rid of the parents.
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Comment number 3.
Peter_Sym30th June 2010 - 9:28
Getting rid of the parents early certainly didn't harm JK Rowling!
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Comment number 4.
DaveG30th June 2010 - 9:47
Christine, yes I believe it was. Phillip Pullman. And it is clear a story needs some tension & movement. We maybe forget how much time children actually spend wondering how they will be when grown up and what to do. So a fantasy that puts them there with no-one else to make anything happen, is a real journey to read.
But there are many stories about re-capturing Dad, and bringing him back. I can't understand why 'The Railway Children' was not mentioned. That is a Dad centered story, as is Mary Poppins (with a metaphorically absent dad). And 'The Secret Garden' which is about redeeming the past for Dad so he can move on from grieving and take part in the family again.
I saw most of the program last night and it was interesting - but really you shouldn't use novels to find out about how people really are!
There are just too many biasing filters between people and the final few successful stories (authors, publishers, and readers to mention a few),
I was very irritated by the idea that Mr Bennet is a 'weak' (or in any way bad) father. He for sure was in a relationship with a emotionally manipulative and denigrating wife, but he loved her, despite that side of her, and had his way of working things round to find the best for his beloved daughters.
Mr Bennet should be a hero for all modern Dads.
After all if you reject the ideal of a father as the patriarchal 'family boss' and look for connection and commonality in life and decisions then we see the label weak as just meaning 'non-authoritarian' - which actually is where we want to go.
As an aside: on the idea that only bad parenting is needed for a good plot set-up everyone should read Doris Lessing's 'The fifth child', which has the opposite and therefore actually sheds some light on things, rather than just running downhill down the nearest railway tracks to the bestseller wire stand at the station bookshop.
DaveG
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Comment number 5.
rphenixwalker30th June 2010 - 14:53
DaveG and Christine talk a lot of sense. I think this is about absent parents leading to tension and adventure in childrens' stories, not absent fathers. And fictional depictions of fathers are just that: fiction. To relate them to modern Dads is unfair and inaccurate.
I have written a blog post in response to this article and the programme:
http://ratherlovely.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/the-case-for-fathers/
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Comments 5 of 26