Caring about children
Imagine being nine years old and having no-one who cares about you.
I don't mean cares for you: making sure you do your teeth and your homework. I mean someone who devotes themself to nurturing you to adulthood: advising you, encouraging you, loving you.
I recently met a nine-year-old in an English care home who told me of his experience of being looked after by the state.
Q: You've been in care for a little while, haven't you?
A: Yeah, four years.
Q: How many places have you been in?
A: About six.
Q: Six different places in four years?
A: Yeah.
It is not an unusual story. Most of the children I spoke to had moved from foster family to residential care to another foster family - an institutional merry-go-round that's far from merry.
In a week when we are reflecting on the relationship between British society and children, the plight of the 60,000 youngsters "looked after" by the state tells us something about our priorities.
Yesterday, the government sent me figures for England which they hoped would convince me how things are improving.
"Between 2004 and 2008 the proportion of care leavers in education, employment and training rose from 55.4% to 64.9%." So 35% of children leaving care are "Neets" at the age of 19. But that compares with a national average of just over 6%.
The Department for Children admits that children in the care system are five times less likely to achieve five good GCSEs and eight times more likely to be excluded from school. They are less likely to go to university and more likely to end up in prison.
These are thoroughly depressing statistics, all the more so when one realises how some of our European neighbours do.
In Britain, six out of a hundred care leavers will go on to higher education; in Denmark, it is six out of ten. Wow.
I recently went to Copenhagen to try and understand how they achieve such different results. Yes, it is a smaller country. Yes, they take, proportionately, twice as many kids into care. But the short answer to the question is a philosophy called "social pedagogy".
I met Ahmed, who has just turned seven years old. The sixth son of an Iraqi refugee family, he was taken into care along with his siblings. But today, he is out on the streets of the Danish capital - all alone. With his anorak hood pulled tightly around his face, the small boy negotiates busy roads to get to the corner store.
Gitte Nielsen is the social worker with personal responsibility for his educational and emotional growth - his social pedagogue. For her, nurturing Ahmed to adulthood means taking risks.
"I think it's very important for children to feel that the adult who is close to them trusts them," she tells me. "Each time I let him out on his own I can see that he grows."
Gitte, like almost all social workers looking after children in Denmark, has a professional degree, is well paid and enjoys a job with high status.
"The first time he went, I was very scared and I was looking at the clock the whole time, like with my own children, but he proved that he could do it."
While we are closing children's homes in favour of foster care, in Denmark they are opening new ones. In the basement of the care home I visited, Ahmed and his brother Faisal were furiously bashing each other with giant plastic cushions as their pedagogues looked on.
I suggest to Gitte that in Britain, her counterpart might be anxious about the risk of the children hurting themselves and the possibility of being sued.
"Yes", she replies with a shrug. "And sometimes they hurt themselves, but of course I give them a hug or whatever you need to. And then they are ready to do it again."
The British state as parent has become reluctant to take risks, to show affection. A system corrupted by abuse and cruelty now tends to adopt a safety first approach.
But the outcomes for children in care are so poor that one local authority, Essex County Council, is introducing social pedagogy right across its services.
I watched as two trainers from Germany introduced care staff to the new philosophy. They asked them for their reaction to a picture of a little boy standing on a plank straddling a stream. He is holding a large saw and is happily cutting the plank between his legs.
"Get him off there," says one. "It looks really dangerous," says another.
"What is the worst that could happen if you let him continue?" asked the pedagogues. "And what advantages might there be in letting him continue?"
Pedagogy challenges traditional attitudes, and the care workers I met in Essex seemed genuinely liberated. Bridget Mellor told me she thought the system had become overly protective.
"You know, somebody has to love them. They need love so badly. I think people have been stuck in - 'I'm the carer, you're the child, you'll do as I say, this is the system.' But actually, they are children. They need a cuddle, they need a hug."
The paedophile scandals that contributed to the closure of many children's homes in Britain still damage young people. Staff are nervous about showing affection. They fear that an allegation of inappropriate behaviour, however unfounded, might wreck their career.
In Denmark, a self-confident and respected profession has no qualms about physical contact and displays of affection. In a Copenhagen cafe, I met a group of young people in their early twenties who maintain links with the care system.
Alex, an attractive 23-year-old woman, introduced me to "uncle" Bruno - her pedagogue. She described an intense relationship of mutual trust and respect. "I love him and I know he loves me. I could tell him anything. I think I could talk with him better than with my best friend."
Such intimacy made me feel uncomfortable - the pretty young girl and the older man. Does Bruno have concerns?
"She can call me her uncle. That sounds good but, in real life, it's not that way. I get money to deal with Alex and she knows that. We come very close to young people we are working with. But there's still the distance."
The children in Essex have been experiencing pedagogy for a few months now and have already noticed a difference.
"Before they started to mention all this 'pegagogy' thing, they didn't do as much involving us," one ten-year-old explains. "Normally, the adults make the decisions but, instead, they let us help the adults to make the decisions."
Q: Do you feel there's always somebody who can give you a cuddle?
A: Yeah.
Q: Do you like cuddles?
A: Yeah, I do actually. Definitely when I'm tired and don't know what to do with myself.
Pedagogy is not cheap. But the Danish welfare ministry says that taxpayers are willing to stump up. In fact, they say that the pressure is on the state to do more to protect children at risk.
Here in the UK, the government is piloting social pedagogy in 30 sites in England. The philosophy is gaining ground in Scotland too.
While there are many talented, committed and caring social workers doing their best to nurture vulnerable children to adulthood in Britain, it seems to me that we still need to do far more to shift from a system that cares for children to one that has the confidence to care about them.
PS: You can listen below to this morning's Today Programme report on pedagogy, including an interview with Barry Sheerman, chairman of the Children, Schools and Families Select Committee:
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PPS: You can also see Ahmed, Faisal and Gitte in the video below, from this morning's Breakfast News.
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I'm 
~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~41~RS~)
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Mark
This report needs to be read in conjunction with your previous blogs.
We now have a society where all men are regarded by officaldom and the public at large as "suspect" around children, even their own, despite the risk being miniscule.
The fear of giving children hugs is therefore all-pervasive in the UK. Ill-founded tabloid hysteria over paedophilia has made this much worse.
It's part of the same fearfulness that has led to young men being actively dissuaded from becoming nursery and primary teachers, now becoming almost entirely a female occupation. As a result there are fewer and fewer male role models in the lives of children, especially those in single parent families and in state "care".
In the past I was confident enough to befriend, give first aid, or otherwise intervene to help in need a child I didn't know, without fearing that I'll be accused of "inappropriate behaviour" or worse.
But ever year this gets more and more problematical in the UK, so I'm not sure I would take that sort of resonsibility any more except in case of extreme danger to the child....
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At last, someone in Govt is making decisions based on good old common sense, something seriously missing in the last 25 years in the Govt and its 'caring' professions.
When I began my work in welfare in the early 70's the loss of common sense was just beginning, the pressure from the ever growing media injected a massive public and political fear and emotion into the caring professions that developed an attitude that professional child care needed to be seen as 'perfect'.
A notional perfection (very much created by media sensationalism that would target anything that created high response to their daily dose of death, dirt, disgust and devastation) that became epitomised by 'rules and regulations' and a large dose of political correctness. All of which lost sight of the natural imperfection of normal child-rearing that occurs in every family everyday.
These rules and regulations did not guarantee safe and perfect child care, far from it, it created an environment of unnattainable and unreralistic political desires that produced a paranoid profession (and community) in which the commonsense imperfections of loving and nurturing one's children was replaced by a soulless set of tickable criteria that would
attempt to protect the Govt of the day. The human, natural, commonsense caring that children must have in order to develop into healthy well adjusted adults (including everyday minor mistakes and imperfections) was lost to fear of sensationalist media (and therefore political) pressure!
The very nature of human development dictates producing a healthy loving environment in which kids grow and mature
cannot be produced by a set of tickable criteria....be that by natural parents or substitute/alternative professional carers.
So, lets hope the UK can learn something from Denmark...the winners of the lesson, for a change, will be the kids.
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Children are our future.
Bring children up without love, family support and any understanding of relationships and you have the recipe for a Nation's collapse.
Forget terrorism or al-qaeda. Social policies and the terrible incorrect political attitudes we have in this country along with balmy priorities, the UK authorities all by themselves, can destroy this nation far faster and more deeply than any bomb or terrorist incident.
Its always been embarrasing that Scandinavian countries have been 'streets'
ahead of us in 'child welfare' issues.
If cost is behind the issue, why introduce 'social pedagogy' at all? We don't really need it.
Surely one of the many answers would be to remove the 'politically correct' attitudes in this country and ALLOW mature couples and single mothers to foster or adopt children of any age, race or religion and provide them with the backup in the community to do so, positively encourage them (that would be a first!).
Why not be truly radical and give existing families, with children of similar ages, 'lifetime tax free status' to foster or adopt a child as their own?
I wish Governments and Local Authorities would just let children live within real families and apart from financial and healthcare support, stop nannying and interfering with 'how' people live their lives.
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Badgercourage...I couldn't agree more!
Don't know about the UK but in Aus, especially during the late 80's and early 90's, paranoia ran amok bringing the number of male teachers in some schools down as low as 16% at times. Also knew a number of male parents who openly admitted that they were scared to show affection to their own children in public! We have yet to understand the true long term social legacy of it all I think.
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Mark,
I am convinced that you are right that despite recognizing as a country that we are desperately letting down "out-of-home" children we are not looking carefully enough abroad. You are right that a child needs a proper relationship with an adult on their side.
You (and the CEO of Barnardos recently) seem also to have started asking whether out of home care might be a better way for some children to grow.
The jigsaw piece which I think you, the article and goernment is missing is family-based care out of home. There is a perfectly good model in the form of SOS Children's Villages which gives good outcomes by providing a trained resident (168 hour a week) professional mother to full the void left by the child's (lack of) real mother. There are 60,000 children in 123 countries with a real mother provided by SOS Children but even though places like France have working-hour exemptions for SOS Mothers, in the UK local government or unions have blocked it.
So how many more generations will this go on for? SOS Children's Villages has 14 government nominations for a Nobel Peace prize, endorsements by Mandela and many more but what is recognized as best practice elsewhere is just too much trouble here. Shame on us all.
Just Google for "SOS Children" and see for yourself.
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It extends into the child's school life as well.
When a child falls over in the playground staff are actively discouraged from giving the child a cuddle. Sometimes an arm around the shoulder is the best way of easing a disapointment, but teachers have to be totally confident to do this.
Children need to feel loved and valued, when this is taken from them - for any reason - then society is the loser.
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Isn't the key solution towards the end of this piece: "Pedagogy is not cheap. But the Danish welfare ministry says that taxpayers are willing to stump up. In fact, they say that the pressure is on the state to do more to protect children at risk."
In this country we are not willing to stump up for the sort of facilities and professionals they have in Denmark. We put pressure on the state to protect children at risk anyway, but we don't make the crucial link between "doing more" and funding, as the Danish public do. Indeed, when there is a high-profile failure, such as we have seen recently, the public call for experienced professionals to be sacked and funding withdrawn!
It is pointless using case studies from other countries as a stick to beat the government with when we aren't prepared to support the kind of resourcing kids in care need.
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my experience or rather my brothers was very poor, he/we had family problems and from 11 to 15 was in social care or court schools. from 15 through to a year and a half before his death when he was 32 prison and drug programs for substance abuse picked up in care. the last home he was in was probably the worse ending up in prison for stabbing one of the other kids who was abusing a younger child. The few times i saw him during teen years were very sad, lord of the flies comes to mind, when looking back at how the homes he was in worked.
As for social workers well as bad now as they were back then, I know one who's 5 year old daughters fav movies are chucky and bride of chucky...... I knew another who though having 70+ 15 -17 year olds in her house every few weeks drinking and partying with her son was reasonable behaviour and then she wondered why she had an attempted stabbing on her door step her windows put through on many occasions... people of trust ha... Easy money more like it.
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Thank God (probably cannot say that!) there are some places on earth which have not been taken over by the Health and Safety and PC brigades.
When you look at the reported problems in society covering all children they have a lot to answer for but when they get their hands on the children who have then lost a parent's protection this is what happens.
The reaction of the care staff to the boy on the plank says it all.
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My mother was recently mentioning her will to me (bear with me here).
As it stands, while I am unmarried or not living with a long-term partner, I will get a big lump-sum if she dies - before the rest is passed to my stepfather. If my stepfather dies first - she will get passed the lot, as his children (my step-siblings) are settled with families - until my mum then dies, and we all get an even split.
Why is this? Mum put it this way:
"Right now, there is only me left with Sara and her well-being firmly in my heart. When I'm gone, I want her to have as much help as I can give, first."
The idea of being deeply embedded into someone's "heart" is a wonderful image, and a simple thought that makes me well-up with love for her.
I really, really, really feel for those who don't have or have never had such a person in their lives.
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Let's cut to the chase here - the report states that the cost of pedagogy is what makes it less appealling in the UK but let's evaluate the cost of children in care who turn to crime or the children who leaves with such low school grades they are virtually unemployable and how much THEY cost society over the years. This is a cost that should not be up for discussion. If we can afford to fund wars that are none of our business then we can surely afford to fund something that will benefit the children who, through no fault of their own, find themselves at the mercy of the government and the institutions.
It is disgraceful that society today has become so buttoned-up and self-serving that a child who falls and hurts itself cannot be given a wee cuddle to make it feel better in itself.
It also says a lot that children are so wrapped in cottonwool they are not allowed to have the life experiences from which they would develop.
This social pedagogy gets the thumbs up from me. I just hope those in authority have the b*lls to go for it!
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Once again a scandanavian country - I would be interested to see how many kids they have in care as a proportion of population, compared to the UK. As a failed state, the UK may not be able to afford the same expenditure per kid. I'm not sure you can fairly compare with a functioning society like Denmark. If you ever work alongside social services in a UK city you soon become aware of the sheer overwhelming scale of it - it's amazing there is any individual care at all.
I agree with the principle behind your comments though.
Massive damage has been done by the great paedophile panic. It's not just kids in care - whole generations have been brought up being told not to talk to any adult stranger. How does a kid grow up to interact with adults when they have spent the whole of their childhood without speaking to an adult stranger? (And vice versa - all the adults are all scared to talk to the kids in case they get branded a pervert)
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I am currently studying Childcare. Not enjoying it much. Yesterday, I had a discussion with my classmates and we all believe children nowadays are wrapped in too much cotton wool. When I was a child, you did something stupid, you got hurt, and you didn't do it again. Nowadays, children don't learn to equate the risky behaviour with consequences, as they are never allowed to perform that risky behaviour. What are they going to be like when they are older?
At the nursery I work at, we are pretty laid back and are allowed to give a child a cuddle if they are ill or sad etc. But we're not meant to. I work with children aged 2-4; can you imagine being in a nursery 10 hours a day, 5 days a week with no hugs?! These poor children will grow up emotionally stunted.
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If nothing else I think the one thing we can take from this report is that it's evident that the real enemy here is political correctness itself.
We've become a society that looks to legislation before common sense. Or rather we haven't - most of us do still have common sense, but we've had it battered out of us by those in power who support the philosophy of blame.
In the words of Charlton Heston, "Political correctness is just tyranny with manners."
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Well of course it costs money. All children cost money. Isn't this what we call investing in the future?
I hope that the government carries this through and puts properly trained professionals and the necessary resources in place.
#6 "When a child falls over in the playground staff are actively discouraged from giving the child a cuddle." If this is true - it's very sad. I teach in a sports centre in Spain and cuddle the younger kids as do the male teachers. It's not a big deal, just a normal response.
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What a bittersweet article. We read this the day after we resigned as foster carers. 'Your problem', our social worker explained to us, 'is that you're trying to influence outcomes'.
Our 'placement' (they're not even called children any more) has had two social workers in 7 months. His current one has spent less than an hour with him since November, but apparently knows what he wants and needs. Our opinion counts for nothing in his care planning, despite having lived with him 24/7 and being a teacher and Chartered psychologist.
And of course we must remember the 'safe caring' policy - no hugs or affection, we must each bear witness to the other's behaviour in our own home, just in case... In case of what? That he forms an attachment, knows that we care and that what happens to him is important to us?
At his last review, as each of his achievements was listed, his parents made disparaging remarks. They are unhappy that he is thriving. And in our rights driven society, paranoid about allegation and litigation, we must do what the parents want, even if that's at the cost of a child's wellbeing.
The outcome - we feel we must stop what we're doing. I'm sure I read somewhere that a child has rights too? Clearly not a right to a happy, safe, loving home.
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I enjoyed reading this.
Six out of ten of these kids in Denmark going on to higher education is amazing.
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One answer to the whole 'British' issue: stop reading the tabloid newspapers and believing their hate-filled nonsense
They are the ones leading the nation and forcing the government to act as it does
(just let the facts speak for themselves on Brown and his cronies)
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It cracks me up when people put knew names on old strategies like pedagogue. This is what good teachers and care workers have done for years. Does it really take a bizillion dollars and a new method to give children what they've deserved all along? It's known as child development 101 and it ain't rocket science.
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Mark:
1)It is sad that so many kids are in the custody of the state....
2)I hope that these kids will be able to get the loving care from someone, Like in your comments regarding; Someone encouraging you ..hugging and telling you are a good person...
-I really enjoyed reading this blog....
~Dennis Junior~
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Mark Easton:
Regarding the Stats...In Denmark that 6 out of 10 kids are able to go to higher education...That is very good stats....
~Dennis Junior~
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How high are Danish tax levels compared to British ones?
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I was 'Nationalised' at the age of 5 years old, the state were my parents and have been ever since. It sounds funny to call it 'Nationalisation', but that's how it feels.
I spent most of my childhood in and out of care homes and likewise spent most of my childhood in and out of school. I left care with 1 CSE in English, and joined the Royal Navy - further 'nationalisation!'.
Since being kicked out of the Royal Navy because I wouldn't take up arms in the Royal Marines, I have spent much of my time on welfare benefits, I have been in and out of hospital, made several suicide attempts, had a spell in prison at the request of my dad, had psychiatric reports and to be honest have been literally written off by the 'so called experts' who were supposed to help me.
The 'so called experts' - psychiatrists and doctors couldn't help me because they never wanted to know ME! They thought they did, they thought they had all the answers and yet in all their cutting up and prodding they forgot to look inside my heart.
There's only one person who's had access there, but he was crucified, again by the 'so called experts', but he lives on, I know he does because he lives in my heart!
'What if the aims of the world were based on LOVE'. Childrens Society.
Imagine what the world would be like-
there would be no threat of war, no tears, no suffering, no hunger, no homelessness, no unemployment, no protectionism, no racism, no divorce, no hatred, no pollution, no, no global warming, no child soldiers, no slums, no borders, no extremism, no fascism, no greed, no poverty and no so much more of what our children have to put up with!
The report by the Childrens Society was spot on in my opinion, adults are selfish, we live for today and forget about tomorrow. We take, take, take and forget about our childrens' tomorrows!
The past two days has seen the country blessed from on high. Our country has seen schools and work closed because of the snow, but our children have been HAPPY!. I know because I've heard them in the streets, I've seen them on their sledges, I've seen them with mums and dads and to be honest it brought a tear to my eye because our children need to be loved, they want to spend more time with their busy parents, instead of being forgotten about in some dark corner of a house in front of a laptop or some gamestation.
'as we walk uncertainly through this world,
the deepest longing within us all is surely to be loved
Not to be loved for whom we are
Not to be loved for who we are
Not to be loved for what we may become
But to be LOVED'. Dr Michael Meegan ICROSS
'LOVE!'
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I was 'Nationalised' at the age of 5 years old, the state were my parents and have been ever since. It sounds funny to call it 'Nationalisation', but that's how it feels.
I spent most of my childhood in and out of care homes and likewise spent most of my childhood in and out of school. I left care with 1 CSE in English, and joined the Royal Navy - further 'nationalisation!'.
Since being kicked out of the Royal Navy because I wouldn't take up arms in the Royal Marines, I have spent much of my time on welfare benefits, I have been in and out of hospital, made several suicide attempts, had a spell in prison at the request of my dad, had psychiatric reports and to be honest have been literally written off by the 'so called experts' who were supposed to help me.
The 'so called experts' - psychiatrists and doctors couldn't help me because they never wanted to know ME! They thought they did, they thought they had all the answers and yet in all their cutting up and prodding they forgot to look inside my heart.
There's only one person who's had access there, but he was crucified, again by the 'so called experts', but he lives on, I know he does because he lives in my heart!
'What if the aims of the world were based on LOVE'. Childrens Society.
Imagine what the world would be like-
there would be no threat of war, no tears, no suffering, no hunger, no homelessness, no unemployment, no protectionism, no racism, no divorce, no hatred, no pollution, no, no global warming, no child soldiers, no slums, no borders, no extremism, no fascism, no greed, no poverty and no so much more of what our children have to put up with!
The report by the Childrens Society was spot on in my opinion, adults are selfish, we live for today and forget about tomorrow. We take, take, take and forget about our childrens' tomorrows!
The past two days has seen the country blessed from on high. Our country has seen schools and work closed because of the snow, but our children have been happy. I know because I've heard them in the streets, I've seen them on their sledges, I've seen them with mums and dads and to be honest it brought a tear to my eye because our children need to be loved, they want to spend more time with their busy parents, instead of being forgotten about in some dark corner of a house in front of a laptop or some gamestation.
'as we walk uncertainly through this world,
the deepest longing within us all is surely to be loved
Not to be loved for whom we are
Not to be loved for who we are
Not to be loved for what we may become
But to be LOVED'. Dr Michael Meegan ICROSS
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To more fully understand how disgraceful our treatment of children in care is simply look at the abject failure of local authority leaving care teams.
I honestly belive this failure is linked to the feminisation of the care and education sectors. Males are now actively excluded from these professions and this has caused immense damage. We will have to cope with the problems caused by this madness for many years to come.
Three years ago my god child (a boy aged 7) was sent home from his school for displaying inappropriate behaviour to a female class mate. He was hugging her!
A week later I was informed by this same teacher that he and his male school friends were too boisterous and too rough whilst in the playground and should be tought to play more gently!
It is hard to believe that so called professionals could be both so stupid and have such total disregard for childhood itself.
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Do you know what so mamy of these posts scream out?
Moral cowardice. Thats right.
Everyone of us who blames inaction on Political Correctness because we are scared of the consequences, is a moral coward.
I blame this malaise in britain on one thing the rise of the "middle class", what is that anyway?
I work in an office, i wear a suit, does this make me middle class? does it make me Aspirational? no it does not, im still told what to do, how to do it, when it has to be done by.
This desire to no longer be working class is the most damaging thing that has ever happened to this country, because as we know the three rules of middle class behaviour are
1. be jealous of everything and everybody.
2. be hipocritical, condemn peoples actions, even if you have commited thiose self same actions in the past.
3.be aware that people will judge you for everything you say and do, never say anything that will set you apart, unless you know that everyone else secretly agrees with you.
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AnnaNemous (16): ditto ... sadly, our experience as well, and we're giving up too.
No one ever asks 'What does this child need?' They leap for the guidelines, tick the relevant boxes, then go home, job done.
I know they're hard-pressed - but they're trying to make decisions about children's futures based, as you say, on an hour's chat every six week
We knew when we started that we'd have some difficulty balancing the satisfaction of doing a good job against the inanities of the structures/processes ... but we didn't know just how hard it would be. And regrettably, the balance is so heavily weighted that we can't carry on - we feel we'd be dishonest to prop up a system which is so casually disrespectful of the children it is supposed to look after ...
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# 26
Why so harsh and judgemental? An easy accusation to make, but not a fair one.
Have you ever been in the position of having to make such a decision? The line between a good deed and a foolish one, between prudence and recklessness, can be a fine one.
I suggest you add a fourth maxim:
"No good deed ever goes unpunished" [origin unknown, attrib. to Oscar Wilde]
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I find it curious, that the word pedagogy was not originally connected with the chid care in Britain?
the pedagogy system has been the base for all children-related emloyees in USSR and is in Russia still. Can't say it brought us very excellent results ;o) certainly nothing like in Finland.
but the "science" was taken aboard in 1920s, I think invented by 2 men who headed an orphanage for young criminals, post Russia's Civil war. Makarenko and Sukhomlinsky. They had very hard to deal with teenagers, limited funds, short on staff, food, clothes for the kids, and they all ran away and committed crimes in the nearby town non-stop.
So they were simply cornered as they couldn't handle them by force, and decided to take "you're responsible for your life here yourself" approah. Like "we love you, but you do absolutely all yourself. Earn money for the clothes, run a kitchen garden; 6 people of staff can't provide and cook and clean after 200 let's say honestly, young criminals. Miraculously it worked, as kids who ran away found that the outside world is far more hostile, and nobody cares for them there at all. While at least in this orphanage 6 staff do, plus there are friends.
This idea set off the system. Roughly.
Kindergartens, school teachers, uni teachers - all are supposed to be basing on this in Russia, taught.
What is called in English ? A Teacher's Training? university? college? is in Russia "Paedagogichesky University"
And certainly it helps that we not politically correct society so you can enbrace the kids as much as you like, nobody cares or spies on you.
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Hey, badgercourage, i never said it was easy.
However it is a fact that if we weigh up a situation and decide not to act becasue we are fearful of perceived outcomes that is cowardice, and im afraid Britain has become a nation of cowards.
The lack of intervention by men because they are worried about being labelled a paedophile is an outcome of this situation.
men of Briton, where has our self confidence gone?
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metalhappyclappy...... it's hiding from political correctness, pervert paranoia, media sensationalism and ludicrous laws and rules that support/create such things!
Unfortunately, men don't have their version of the 'feminist movement' to protect them or create social/political legitimacy to tackle or discuss these kind of issues.
Maybe we should?
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Sorry....perhaps it would have been more corect to say "hiding from" and not behind.
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Hello Mark Easton!
I do not particularly like the relationship children in Britain have with the adults here. I am from Germany.
My old hairdresser (2 years ago) is now a carer for children. How come such inexperienced staff is employed?
What I noticed in British schools was all the shouting - teachers to children.
In contrast, parents and grandparents try to overcompensate the children with material goods. Sad!
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With reference to the case of baby 'p'
Cases like this are dreadful, but I feel that in not naming this poor little soul, even his first name, is like he never existed!
I understand that for some reason his tormentors/killers are to be protected from retribution, but this little boy had a life (however short) and a name and should be remembered in people thoughts.
Thanks
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Maybe someone should tell Ms Shoesmith that the well being of a child is far more important than the ruffled feathers of a very suspect parent / gardian
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With regard to caring for children I have just read Sharon Shoesmiths defence of her self in the baby P case. What a load of tosh. Once again we see a highly (Over in my opinion) paid bureaucrat blaming everyone but themselves. Refusing to take any responsibility for the results of their actions or perhaps inaction on this occasion. The tenor of this winging diatribe is typical “Spin Doctor” stuff. First Pose an irrelevant question like. If a person is killed by knife crime do we expect the Commander of that borough to resign. Equating this completely out of the blue situation to her own case. Which unless we forget was the death and torture of a small child over some months. This child was under the direct scrutiny and duty of care of Sharon Shoesmiths department. Do people like her think that they get paid just to run around being self important. As someone who has experience working in large organisations where the people who are supposedly in charge are so pre-occupied with building their own carriers and status, that they completely loose the plot if indeed they ever knew it in the first place. I am not one who usually indulges in the modern idiom but “Ms Shoesmith TAKE THE SHAME and also the responsibilty that goes with it
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I have spent a lot of time visiting care homes for children and with the children; also taking them to court as their 'responsible adult'.
The phrase I hear used most commonly by care officers, to children in their case, is "I don't care".
The irony is always lost on the offender, the care officer.
Children are in care homes for a wide variety of reasons. Some examples I know from experience: the murder of a family when on holiday in Jamaica, leaving a boy needing care; a boy sent (with his mother) by his gangster father in Vietnam, on a ship to England (the ship was attacked, he was later rescued and the mother not seen again); girls where were sexually abused by their fathers and family friends.
Many children end up in care because they are victims, often of serious crime.
They need not just care, but all the love and attention any child needs, and sometimes more.
Many care homes are run by hard-hearted business people, who get paid a fortune for each child. Care is the last thing on their mind, as they employ lowest-wage, poorly-educated, unmotivated staff.
When something goes badly wrong, as it must, it is never the profiteers who suffer.
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Reading Mark's article and the comments that follow it makes me realise that I no longer really recognise the country that I used to call home. I now live in Belgium, and have two children attending a local French-speaking school here. The relationships between children and children, and between children and their carers (at school or nursery), couldn't be more different than those being described in schools and nurseries in the UK.
A common greeting between children when they meet at the school gate in the morning, or when they leave at the end of the day, is a kiss on the cheek. My 8-yr old greets her friends in this customary way every day. To say goodbye to a teacher at the end of the day - the same, one kiss on the cheek. This is not inappropiate behaviour, it is human contact and accepted as such.
My 3-yr old is in pre-school, where he is often hugged by the teacher if he is upset or has hurt himself. If he is crying when I leave him in the morning, the teacher will pick him up for a hug as I leave, reassuring him that I will be back later. Completely normal. The atmosphere that the teachers try to create in the school is one of homeliness; you are leaving your kids in a warm, caring environment. Just what most parents would want for their kids, surely. The children feel safe and secure; as a result they like their teachers and are allowed to show it.
The school that my kids are at is not unique; my 8-yr old started her schooling at a different school, things were just the same there. And I am glad of it. The relationships between children and adults are far better here than in the UK, where children seem to be becoming increasingly alienated from and even disliked by adults.
If British society is to start to sort itself out, it needs to go back to the drawing board. British taxpayers need to realise that quality social services cost money. Government needs to put that money where it is needed, paying social workers well and encouraging good quality people into the profession.
Get rid of ridiculous political correctness that prevents human contact, and allow people that work with kids to give an appropriate hug when it is needed, making a child feel better and boosting self-worth. Kids that feel loved will love themselves and be nicer people. And then maybe British society will gradually grow back into what it used to be when I grew up. Somewhere pretty safe, most of the time, where most strangers were ok and most people trusted each other. And childhood was fun!
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The picture of the kid sawing the plank he's standing on is an extremely poor example to use. If he were about to use a fragile branch as a bridge, depending on his apparent level of common sense I might warn him and let him make up his own mind. The consequences would probably be no worse than a wetting and perhaps minor bruising.
However, he is using a very dangerous large saw. When he falls, this is very likely to cause him significant damage. Would you be prepared to watch or walk away and leave him to seriously injure himself?
People who advocate leaving a child to use such a tool unsupervised need to think whether they care for children at all.
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