What's in a nickname?
Grudgingly, I would concede that the presiding officer is probably right. In banning the use of nicknames in the Holyrood chamber.
Still, it might have livened up a notably dull session of questions to the first minister.
As part of the customary badinage, the FM had labelled a Labour MSP "Seven Minute McNulty".
I think it was a cheeky gag about the duration of a speech by Des McN, the member for Clydebank and Milngavie. Or maybe not. By then, I was losing the will to live.
Frowning frostily, as only he can, the PO said he discouraged nicknames in the chamber.
So Eck, Grayman, Bella and Scotty had to struggle along in a fog of formality.
As I say, the PO is undoubtedly right - but oh how one longed for something, anything to disturb the torpor.
Minimal illumination
The exchanges between Iain Gray MSP B.Sc BPB* and the Rt Hon Alex Salmond MP MSP M.A. were, I suppose, worthy.
They concerned the serious topic of employment opportunities for newly qualified teachers. However, the battle swiftly descended into a statistical squabble with minimal illumination.
For the Tories, Annabel Goldie pursued the issue of the money spent advertising the new seller home reports - which the Tories dislike intensely.
To this numbed observer, she made little headway. She sought to engender a scandal, noting that the expenditure on home reports outpaced that on alcohol or drugs.
Here, she claimed, were ministerial priorities writ large. No, said the FM. More was needed right now on promoting the scheme - because it was new and nobody had heard of it.
It said nothing about long-term priorities. And that, mostly, was that.
Tavish Scott was perhaps on sounder territory challenging the transport capital investment programme.
Long day
Was it right, he said, that only the new Forth crossing had absolute priority - while the other 28 items in the plan were equal (that is, equally important or unimportant)?
The answer, incidentally, is yes. But the first minister offered a rather more substantive reply, saying nothing in particular but saying it awfully well.
And so the long day wore on.
*Blue Peter Badge
I'm 
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~33~RS~)
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Brian
It must be near Christmas as that was the worst FMQs since the dark days of wee Jack.
It gets off to a bad start as Ian Gray asks the same question four times, once was bad enough but by the time he rehashed it for the fourth time!!! Does his spin doctor only write one question at a time.
Bella got off to a bad start with the saving Scotland, and GB saving the world crack, unfortunately it was all downhill from there. She is usually better than that.
Tavish was better, but I still do not know what the Lib Dems stand for if anything. Tavish needs to offer reasoned alternatives rather than snipe on the sidelines.
I think Gray has stopped swinging his right arm about when he asks questions, as his spin doctors may think it was detracting from his questions. Start swinging again Ian, anything to take our mind of four questions exactly the same every week.
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, get rid of this meaningless charade that is the chamber (both in Holyrood and Westminster) and get them in their offices / constituencies etc. doing real work instead of playing at political panto.
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I'm surprised that Brian finds the slashing of teacher numbers and an increase in jobless teachers to be so tedious.
FMQs doesn't exist to provide entertainment for bored journalists.
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#1 Dubbieside
http://libdems.org.uk/assets/0000/7654/A08MIH.pdf (PDF) - Make It Happen is a good way to start finding out about lib dem policy.
For the party's fundamental principles, look at the preamble to the Constitution - http://www.libdems.org.uk/home/preamble-to-the-party-constitution .
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#3, simon7-0 wrote:
"I'm surprised that Brian finds the slashing of teacher numbers and an increase in jobless teachers to be so tedious."
What we need is quality not quantity...
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Here is the contrast in BBC Scotland reporting.
The SNP government 'bringing forward' capital spend on transport projects was broadcast as BAD NEWS - a "con" as reported on Reporting Scotland.
The Labour government 'delaying' the building of two carriers for the Royal Navy was broadcast as GOOD NEWS - "spinning out the work" as reported on Good Morning Scotland.
Wee Eck getting the better of the opposition leaders at FMQs is now broadcast as - "notably dull ".
The opposition leaders being able to think on their feet at FMQs is broadcast as - "You've all done very well."
Such partisan reporting is so ingrained at Pacific Quay that BBC reporters don't even blink or hesitate when they spout these words on air.
If you are losing the will to live Brian may I suggest a career move to the world of fiction, obviously that is where your talents lie (if you get my drift).
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Anyone who decides on the abilities of a politician based purely on their performance at FMQs/PMQs is sadly deluded.
There are some exceptional individuals in all walks of life who are very poor at public speaking or debating, yet excellent in their own field of expertise.
And since FMQs is a public spectacle, perhaps our First Minister could avoid making jokes and trying projecting the Scottish Government in a more serious light.
And at the same time please get a bit more variety on opposition questions.
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I heard a discussion on the radio recently about new teachers being unable to find jobs. Apparently, there are plenty of jobs but they may not be on their door step. As one gent pointed out, if you can't get a job in a location that you want then you just have to re-locate to where there are vacancies. Many have had to do this. My son would have loved to stay in Scotland but for the type of job he wanted he had to go south. That's life, unfortunately.
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In my view Scotty was right to ask what the priorities were re the wish list of the transport priorities, as how can they all be priorities. Perhaps Wee Eck does not understand the word priorities. He certainly is a master at not answering questions and it is a little disappointing to see our political commentators being conned by him as they seem to have been done. It is hardly surprising that so many people are turned of politics when our FM gets away with it so often by the media.
To get back to the FMQ by Scotty where does Eck's transports wish list sit with the so called priorities/ targets on climate change. Government is surely about making sometimes hard decisions, and so far on the crucial area of climate change this transport wish list Eck seems unable to do that.
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Brian is become as blatant an apologist for the Union and the ignorance of the SNP as his colleague Glenn Campbell.
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Poor Old Brian !
I always find his blogs so informative + amusing, providing a lift to the afternoon.
Today must have been really grim. Or, Brian must have had a fantastic Wednesday night of it.
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Let's face it FMQ's are nothing more than a rather second-rate comedy act. What is particularly depressing is the habit adopted by some back-benchers of trying to contribute to this farcical spectacle by behaving like performing seals and applauding every inane utterance that passes through the FM's oral cavity. It's time they grew up and realised that they are there as our representatives in our parliament to hold the government to account and not simply to act as a passive audience to their follies. I don't blame you, Brian, if you've lost the will to live. No one should be exposed to such banal drivel on a daily basis as part of their employment. There should be a law against it.
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The whole Scottish parliament is a second rate act, no real power , with a few exceptions , devoid of political talent , and overflowing with pomposity. It would be better either to have full fiscal powers and full independence or to be a full part of the union. Men like Wallace and Bruce did not fight for a vassal parliament, it was what they were fighting against. No wonder Brian went to sleep dreaming Dundee United had won the league.
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Brian,
Some poor deluded Labour supporter refused to acknowledge this (on another thread), but the truth is -
The new name 'Liebour' is the truth of recent years.
Labour was buried a generation ago;
New Labour was buried with Blair;
and, sadly, Liebour has resurfaced with Brown, Darling and Mandy.
Real Labour supporters (if there are any left) may not like it, but that's the new reality!
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"This is good news for the shipyards building the two aircraft carriers."
Keith Hazelwood
GMB
GMB sells-out its member to aid the ailing Labour Party ... BBC eagerly gobbles up the story, reports the unadulterated party line.
Imagine were the Scottish Government to push back a major investment (already promised) that could save jobs ... what would Glenn, Kirsty, Jeremy et al.'s reaction be?!
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Brian
Maybe someone should ask Mr Salmond
" What should be the design of the British 50 Euro Cent coin a Thistle, Britannia or a Blue Peter Badge?"
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Iain Gray would undoubtedly go for the Blue Peter Badge!
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8 Nonnaflorence
Was it last year that the press was moaning about the "teacher shortage bombshell" and how we were going to have all these teachers retiring at the same time. Now the same teachers may have decided to stay on a bit longer because GB has ruined the economy and so it's all the SNP's fault for training too many teachers!
By the way I hope some investigative journalist would look into the background of the 2 sisters used by the Greyman, and ask them why they would rather go abroad than somewhere in Scotland where they are needed and where there are vacancies.
Some hope!
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Given that the Blue Peter Badge image would be reminiscent of the old halfpenny (pre-decimal), it seems eminently suited to coinage.
Much better than the new designs adopted by Royal Mint which seem designed to disadvantage those with limited English (values in words only, rather than as universally-recognised digits), poor eyesight, limited dexterity among several 'disabilities'.
(Any truth to the suggestion that the move to worded values alone, a policy abandoned with decimalisation, was motivated by a desire to move away from ARABIC numerals?)
Is it any wonder that many of us are turning away from using physical cash at all - leading to the demise of small shops which are essentially cash-only enterprises?
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Bring back Wee Wendy, she was no great leader but at least you got a laugh from her efforts.
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Given that he seems so dead-set against nicknames, does anyone know what Alex Fergusson's is/was?
Apart that is, from "Not that one; the one with two esses".
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Who is this Iain Gray person?
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I seem to remember seeing an interview once where a member of the Australian parliament made no excuses for the 'frank' personal exchanges which were he said, typical of it's main debates.
A quote from a document on the Australian government's website paints a colourful account of their parliament's past:
"The early years [of the Australian parliament] saw
contributions such as the allegation that a Member was behaving like a political sausage-skin
filled with wind and water like a Chinese god, that another Member was as uneasy as an old lady
upon receiving her first proposal, and that the Prayers would have to be amended to read “from
plague, tuberculosis and the Opposition, Good Lord, deliver us”.
In the middle years of the last
century, a leader was professing that he was becoming weary of another Member who had the
voice of a bull and the mind of a troglodyte. The closing years of the last century saw a Prime
Minister describe another Member as having a couple of kangaroos loose in the top paddock.
Another Member said that if there were a tax on brains, one of his colleague Members would be
due for a refund, and another said, in more crude terms, that he wished to hear from a backside, he
would pass wind himself. (On another occasion, the same Member was suspended from the
service of the House for refusing to withdraw a similar expression)."
Very amusing! Puts our situation in context.
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The Herald are currently running a campaign aimed at raising the profile of Jim Murphy. Murphy has clearly taken the place of Gray as the voice of Labour in Scotland.
I wonder if Labour are fast realising that he (Murphy) is a charisma free zone and that the electorate will tire of his anti SNP soundbites and that monotonous tone.
The latest Herald puff piece is littered with meaningless guff, such as:
"As today's global and local market places face a crisis of confidence, I firmly believe there is still cause for canny Scottish optimism."
"I believe we have reached a turning point in economics and politics too."
We've reached a turning point for sure, the English press are cottoning on to Brown and Darling quicker than I thought as the economy deteriorates at an alarming rate.
But the worst was:
"I love Scotland too much to see it leave the UK."
What he really meant was:
"I am a political careerist and I love the security that being part of the Westminster parliament gives me. I have little by way of discernable talent having quit University and the thought of having to actually earn a living in an independent Scotland fills me with dread."
This man earns his living attacking the democratically elected Government of Scotland and insulting small independent near neighbours.
He is supposed to be Scotland's representative at Westminster but does nothing but issue statements that are little more than propaganda.
Let's hope we can rid ourselves of this modern day Addams Family:
Gomez Brown
Morticia Mandelson
Lurch Murphy
Fester Darling
Pugsley Gray
Grandma Curran
Wednesday Alexander
Thing Alexander
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#6 minuend rightly said:
"Here is the contrast in BBC Scotland reporting.
The SNP government 'bringing forward' capital spend on transport projects was broadcast as BAD NEWS - a "con" as reported on Reporting Scotland.
The Labour government 'delaying' the building of two carriers for the Royal Navy was broadcast as GOOD NEWS - "spinning out the work" as reported on Good Morning Scotland."
I'm sure more than just us spotted that minuend. It was an unbelievable piece of Machiavellian reporting but just what we come to expect from the English Broadcasting Company.
Having said that STV backed up Gray's teacher bleat by interviewing the twin teachers in question.
The Union is in grave danger and the unionists on both sides of the border are pulling out all the stops.....i.e. dirty tricks.
More to come without doubt!
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A bronze swimming certificate and a Blue Peter badge? He's done well for himself, hasn't he?
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This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.
On the matter of spin, I'm very worried about Kenny MacAskill's proposals to have a "sentencing committee". ie Let's keep as many criminals out of prison as possible.
But not suprising considering his own record on crime policy.
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15. patsymkirkwood: "Imagine were the Scottish Government to push back a major investment (already promised) that could save jobs ... what would Glenn, Kirsty, Jeremy et al.'s reaction be?!"
The Scottish Government would have to actually make a major investment first, as opposed to repeatedly announcing them but otherwise doing nothing.
Where have all the billions that should have been spent on capital programmes gone? Nothing's been built, or even started, so what's happened to all the money the SNP already has?
24. Greenockboy: As useful a contributor as always but at least you haven't resorted to making 'pro-independence facts' up with this particular post. Kudos!
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#28. Neil_Small147
Jumping the gun a bit there, aren't you?
"The Scottish Government said it was considering all responses to its proposals, which may be included in a Justice Bill in the New Year.
Justice Secretary Kenny MacAskill added: "Judicial independence is one of the cornerstones of the Scottish justice system.
Judges and sheriffs will always have the final say when it comes to sentencing."
Considering / proposals / may = not decided yet.
cornerstones / always / final-say = definitive statements, not up for debate.
Perhaps the committee shall toughen the sentences but not necessarily make them custodial?
I personally would prefer the extension of community service-orders and tagging with curfews for some offenders. I think we have all reached the conclusion that offenders are more unlikely to be able to break-out of the spiral, if they have served-time?
Additionaly, it gives something back to the community. Where it needs attention is in the effectiveness of the service.
Short-term sentences do not work. All they do is disrupt and cost far more than effective community-orders.
Of course, the violent and serious crimes deserve custodial sentences but not the petty, non-violent offences, surely?
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Greenockboy is the man ;-) A great poster...
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32. 'Nationalists have Group Hug'
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Re teachers:
I think what is required is few more unemployed, the ones not delivering the results to make space for new ones. Teaching is one of the last professions where it doesn't matter how bad you are you never get the sack. If the SNP wanted to do something really impressive for our kids they should tackle this issue.
Re transport. the announcement was a con, no detail at all about any project apart from the forth bridge. The rest is just plain simple guff and spin. The saving on the bridge was made by changing the spec. So no real saving there, just more spin and guff.
Same old politics no matter waht the party in power.
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#32 Bluelaw
You're too modest man, I don't think anyone on these blogs could come even close to the quality of your blog at #27. It is an example to us all of the art of putting forward a balanced argument. You are the man - more power to your SNP baseball bat ;-)
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7. Neil_Small147 wrote:
"...perhaps our First Minister could avoid making jokes and trying projecting the Scottish Government in a more serious light."
Aw Neil, come on, get a sense of humour man!
I used to love an Edinburgh act in the 1980s who had a song....
"If I can't dance, it ain't my revolution!".
Fun should be an integral part of life and politics isn't exempt from that. If wee eck can bring a laugh, then that's a good thing. I mean, if Vaclav Havel can write a political play involving explicit sex, then surely eck can make a joke or too?
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No 33 Rep One.
Well spotted!!
The only hug you'll be getting is from your anorak deep inside the draughty basement of Keir Hardie House!!
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This little song wot I have composed could be sung at FMQT to liven it up
To the tune of
“Didja Ever “ from GI Blues
Moan moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
Did you even get one of those days, boys
Ever get one of those days?
When nothing is right
From morning to night
Did you even get one of those days?
Moan moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
You wake up in the morning
And Salmond’s on the screen
Turn over to Coocaddens
Wee Nicola’s stealing the scene!
Waving, smiling, it’s doing in your head
Did you even get one of those days, boys
When you shoulda stayed in bed
Moan moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
The Labour Party’s meeting
A cunning plan in mind
To ambush Alex Salmond
At FM Question time
Thinkin’,blinkin’ wi Murphy on the phone
And all they come up with every week is
Moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
They brought an idea to the meet
And sat it on the floor
But after twenty minutes
They showed it out the door
Aimless, shameless they havny got it right
And moaning every Thursday
Will keep them out of sight
(* last line can be paraphrased to great effect)
Moan moan moan moan
Moan moan moan moan
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Murphy is a traitor.
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Why was my comment referred? There was nothing wrong with it. I'd appreciate an explanation.
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The sad thing is that much of the almost completely invisible Labour Party doesn't even justify nicknames.
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