"Here we go, hand sanitisers at the ready" - listener discussions to 7 March 2012

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Tony Archer's awful visitors, the return of eClarrie to the Bridge Farm dairy, Lily's bell ringing lesson, Ruth's secret advisor and the "anti's" at the mega dairy site... plus some suggestions for Jim to get him through Lent.

Here's my pick of listener discussions on The Archers message board, Twitter and Facebook between 1-1 March 2012

Tony Archer should be left to recover in peace! The poor man has had to endure visits from his "self absorbed" son and "the ugly sisters". Perhaps Tony should retire "for the sake of our health"?

Oh dear, Tony Archer really doesn't sound at all well. R4 my link to home & the real world. Schmallenberg virus & Brian's dairy #TheArchers (@stephenfry on Twitter)

Tony needs some TLC and Tom needs a kick in the pants. He redefines self absorbed. (Mike Mansfield on Facebook)

Tony reassuring Tom, knowing how bad Tom would be and giving him a way out. it had me choked up. (Rose Sal Volatile Parade)

It was partly the spiked remarks, the undercurrent of criticism of Tony's life and partly the manic cackling from Lilian and the total lack of self awareness from Jennifer (Her life is stressful?) that had me picturing them with high rise wigs and rouged cheeks (pollyanna)

If I had Jennifer and Lilian wittering on by my bedside I'd hope the inevitable follow-up heart attack completed the job. #thearchers (@errorgorilla on Twitter)

Has Tom got away with attempted murder? Join the conversation on the message board.

Should Clarrie be back in the dairy? Listeners are divided with some wishing she'd turned those smug Archers down. Others say that re-employing her was a big mistake...

Told ye - here we go, hand sanitisers at the ready.... #thearchers (@jamspangle on Twitter)

Really wish Clarrie would stop sounding so grateful... #thearchers (@BeckyIBe on Twitter)

I would want her back. She is a hard dedicated worker. I was very happy to hear the joy in her voice at being asked back. My only concern would be bad publicity ... in the middle of their big relaunch push. (statesidefan)

I envision that the inside of the toilet door now has a very large sign (festooned with fairy-lights, what else?) which reads "PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER TOUCHING YOUR HUSBAND". (Cuddly Giant Squid)

Should Clarrie be re-hired or fired? Have your say on the message board threads: Sorry but I will always think of Clarrie's mucky habits... and Food Hygiene Certificate

Lily's bell ringing lesson induced murderous thoughts as well as a lot of discussion about the joys of bell ringing - but was Elizabeth being over protective by sitting in? One listener was hoping Lily "would disappear up into the belfry with a horrified scream"

Lily and Freddy spend their lives humouring Elizabeth and doing things that Nigel liked to do because it makes her go all warm inside. And obviously putting up with Mum at a bellringing sesh is one of those occasions. I always feel sorry for the little blighters; she is so emotionally demanding (and will have a serious heart problem if you don't do what she wants). (Minihohum)

I know I'm alone in this, but Lilly is one of my favourites. It's only a matter of time before she's tied a rope round Freddie's ankle and up he goes. (Nelson_G)

Oops! There goes Lily! #thearchers (@MsAlliance on Twitter)

Find out more about bell ringing, and the Pargetters on the message board...

There are rumours that Ruth has secretly contacted old flame Sam... and who would blame her with David "sneering" at her efforts to save the cows

With all the badgering David's giving her about the herd, I bet Ruth wishes she had ran off with Sam! @BBCTheArchers (@oneexwidow on Twitter)

David makes a decision without talking to Ruth about it... it's completely up to her to find a way not to have to give them up. And while she's trying to do this he stands over her snorting and sneering because she isn't finding it easy. I hope it's Sam that Ruth is asking for help - I got the feeling that David was afraid it might be. (PhyllisDoris)

David seems to be talking to Ruth as if she was something unpleasant he has trodden in and is trying to get off his shoe. (virtual_jan)

Lord knows I could procrastinate for England but Ruth is sticking her fingers in her ears and going lalalalalala (Ginslinger Redux)

Have your say on the message board

As the mob arrives at the mega dairy site, listeners pick sides. No one thinks Brian is the man for this job. Would it be better to send in Lilian to calm the situation?

Kirsty's army's coming to get you Brian--quake in your little buckled slip-on shoes and your tasselled loafers! #thearchers (@archerslistener on Twitter)

I'm feeling rather sorry for Brian! Not that I have any sympathy with his plans, but he is walking headlong into trouble. (Botticelliangel)

I think I will still vote against, but I no longer think that the arguments are so black-and-white (Bette)

Lillian should've gone down - ciggies for everyone, darlings! #thearchers #ginoclock #welovelillian (@gingabeans on Twitter)

Are you for or against the mega dairy? Tell us why on the message board

And lastly, poor Jim - with Alan challenging him to hand out compliments to Ambridge residents, listeners have offered some helpful suggestions...

"Morning Gary, still unemployed? Oh well, nil desperandum as they say..." (docklie)

Oven chips with my pizza, Ruth you shouldn't have gone to such trouble. (Purple_Hay)

Morning Joe, you're looking clean, have you had a bath? (Country_Spice)

@BBCTheArchers #Jim doesn't go to church so #Alan respectfully please mind your own beeswax! #thearchers (@Jacqui12358 on Twitter)

Add your handy suggestions on the message board thread: What compliments would you give to Archers characters?

Tayler Cresswell is host of The Archers message board.

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