Presenters Meeting: Not being silly
Yesterday, after reading Thursday's blog, one of the producers asked me if there was any way I could make the producers and presenters not look quite so silly. I agreed, of course. The producers and presenters are very talented people who do an amazing job, and I have no interest in doing them down unjustly. But then the meeting starts...
For the first few minutes everybody is well-behaved and focuses on how to get at any kestrel pellets there might be without disturbing the chicks. Luckily, as the camera needs adjusting anyhow, Nigel the birdman will try snatch a few pellets while he is up there so that Chris can examine them for a lapwing's leg rings...
So far so good. But then, despite my best intentions, it all begins to fall apart. The fact that Simon is going to be doing a piece in a waterfall gets everyone wondering how dressed or undressed he will be, with talk of old ads for Herbal Essence and Timotei... and Simon stripped to the waist.
One of the men in the room suggests we move onto the dippers but Kate vetoes it, insisting that one skinny dipper is enough. Gold star to Kate, but I am now struggling to maintain my serious and po-faced facade as we move on to the kestrels' varied diet.
The cameras, it turns out, have caught the mother kestrel feeding her chicks a frog. As this comes hot on the heels of the adult blackbird trying to shove a snail in her chick's mouth, those present wonder if one of the cameramen is perhaps French...
Then it's back to Simon who will be 'kick sampling' in a Welsh river. Confused, The Mole asks what kick sampling is and is told that it is scrabbling around in a river bed to get a sample of the fauna. "The secret," says Chris, "is to imagine that you're looking for your car keys under water."
At last everyone is serious again. There is a great story for tonight. In fact it is so exciting that I am not allowed to tell you about it right now. This is a serious exclusive. All I can tell you is that it revolves around two very rare birds and everyone is very serious. Then someone reveals that the the two birds have been named Roobarb and Custard... which means that Kate immediately starts singing the theme tune, the executive producer starts doing a strange dance in homage to the jerky animation, and Chris starts quoting Custard's lines: "Yes, I know, Roobarb," he says in a drowsy voice
"I'm not sure Roobarb was a poodle," says Roger, one of the producers.
Not wanting to get Chris too fired up about his poodles, everyone moves quickly on to some of the animals that will be appearing in the show: water voles, otters, skylarks, our assortment of live birds, and - of course - more of tonight's great reveal.
For the rest of the meeting everyone is relatively serious. Then, one minute from the end, Kate reads out a text she has just received. It is her neighbour telling her that despite Chris' complaints about Angel Delight on last night's show, Angel Delight with Cadbury Milk Chocolate fingers is actually the best pudding in the universe. At which point Chris reveals a text he has just received saying that the best pudding in the universe is actually Angel Delight impregnated with chunks of Mars bar...
Oh well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Talking of Roobarb and Custard, here's a series of animated short films inspired by Springwatch and made by student at Norwich University College of the Arts. They are seriously good.
And here's a picture of today's star chart:
Comments
Mole I love ur blogs loads!!!!!
Ps if u can get a sneaky photo of a half naked simon for my desktop id love u even more!!!
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Mole, there will be serious demand for Simon's waterfall bathing picture - you might be able to make a whole calendar out of it!
Butterscotch Angel Delight should be served with a Cadbury's fudge finger and two crisp wafer biscuits on the side. No question.
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by the way, why do Gordon and Simon not merit a star chart? are they not stars, or are they just more sensible?
Oh, actually, no, that latter remark is undoubtedly wrong.
Could "the big reveal" be......Simon in a waterfall?!
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Thanks Tinysunflower, and good point, LadyRizzo,
Because Simon and Gordon aren't on site for the presenters meeting no one has thought to give them a star chart, but I agree with you - that should definitely change (especially if they get their shirts off). Watch this space to see two new star charts go up!
Yours,
The Mole
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mole?, can u ask simon if he would let us watch the goshawk webcam or even the polecat webcams? pleaseoh and i love your blog
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i know this has nothing to do with the above but i think chris is alot better than bill oddie.
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I think both Mr.Packham and Mr.Oddie both seem to be just as charming and funny as each other in thier own individual ways... any chance Chris'll make an appearence in that calendar? ;) (Hee hee)
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well i was most disapointed!!! Simon was fully clothed!!
Going of an above coment,
maybe Chris, Martin, Gordon and of course Simon could do a 2010 calender to raise money for the RSPB or such like ... in the calender girls style, im pretty sure u'll raise thousands!!! oh and in the pictures a mole could feature in each one!!!
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tut tut mole, getting us ladies all exited about Simon!
moving on... the skylark film last night was just fantastic, I only have to walk 100yds to beautiful fields to see and hear them they are my second most favourite bird and I know so little about them.
the blogs like the whole of 'springwatch' just gets better and better
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Yup, Im with everyone else on this. Picci of half nekid Simon puurlease :-P
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i havent had butterscotch angel delight since i was little, great show this year cant beleive were half way through already, could the team not produce dvds to help see us poor addicts through the months between spring watch and Autum watch
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I don't think my name for the Bustard is getting through.
How about Bertha, as in Big Bertha, the famous gun. Particularly appropriate as Bertha the Bustard roams Salisbury Plain
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